Events from back home.

[Cyanist]

*Wheeze* Ahem, *Cough*, excuse me, I'm kind of out of breath. You see, in order to create this thread I had to lug the old rocking chair in front of the computer. We must have the proper mood for these things after all.
This is a thread where people can reminisce about the days long past where odd, magical, funny things happened to us and to our rambunctious woebegone kin. Events such as the following, which must be read in a southern Alabama accent:

Last night at approximately 2:15 A.M. my middle brother Wallace, who has been consistently referred to as 'the
jerk' was in our attic, burning some content onto a disk. (The information contained on the device has not been released, but I think we can assume it is of an equally contentious nature as its master) Upon finishing said disk the heavyset teenager removed it from its tray by means of inserting his finger through the hole in the center, as is the commonly accepted mode of transportation. In his other hand he was carrying a large cup of unsweetened iced-tea. As the account goes, he stopped at the skylight to admire his vast property (or some such nonsense). One of our cats, who spends her evenings on our roof, saw him and let loose a bellow that somehow pierced his inner conscience. He decided to open the skylight to let her in. But upon taking a step forward, his foot fell onto nothingness and his mind searched the past.

Six months earlier, our mother decided it was a shame to have such a beautiful skylight and not be able to see through it from the floor below. So she hired Lawrence (the youngest brother, whom Wallace is constantly directing his wrath toward in the form of elbowing and ear-wrenching and similar anime-inspired violence) to cut a hole through the ceiling.

Back to the present, Wallace found himself falling. As his mind panicked and his gut tightened, he flailed out his hand and caught the edge with three fingers, his thoughts directed toward protecting the precious disk on his index. He released the teacup, (which, to this day has not been recovered, rescue teams are still searching) and frantically grasped at the edge of the hole. But his weight was too much for only one hand and three fingers. He slipped down into the darkness and landed, not on hard floor, as he had hoped, but onto an invention of Lawrence's devising.

Two days earlier, Lawrence and Abel (oldest brother) had found a crackpot inventor from Canada who claimed he could make a heating device with two cans, an electric motor, a large bolt and a cup of oil. It was this collection of items that Wallace's body connected with, and destroyed.
In the end, Wallace was unharmed, but he still bemoans the loss of the disk. When he turned on the lights, he discovered it, still on his finger, bent.

So, what stories have you got? Hand 'em over

Cue the reminiscent banjo strumming.

[loaf]

My stories are pretty quick. So I can do pretty simple ones later.

[Taco-Calamitous]

My middle brother always has to spend an hour in the bathroom, getting himself ready (hair, etc.) It doesn't matter where you're going or what you're doing. One Black Friday morning, my eldest brother was waiting for him so that they could leave, but my middle brother was getting himself ready in the bathroom. The eldest often got impatient with the middle and had a temper in general, and they'd get into fights, so eventually he dragged the middle out of the bathroom, through him out the back door, and locked him out of the house.

There was also "The Trade Book" that chronicled all the trades us siblings would make of our possessions. My sister always got screwed on this; she'd give the middle brother something for a chewed on pencil or something, lol.

There was this one time my middle brother was hanging out with his and our eldest brother's friends, who were also friends with my brother in law. One of them was talking crap about my sister, saying my brother in law settled for less, and my middle brother started drinking a bottle of hot sauce. They asked him why, and he said he would rather drink a bottle of hot sauce than hear that dude say those things about our sister.

Then there was this time my eldest brother got mad at my sister and threw a bag of marbles at her head. She ducked, and the marbles went through a window. My brother blamed her for ducking.

Then there was this one time last Christmas where I was at my sister and brother in law's. My brother in law was making me drinks, and my sister cut me off. She was like, "You're only here for a little while longer so you can escape, but if I send you back to mom and dad hung over, we will never hear the end of it. So please Tom!" This has apparently become one of my brother in law's favorite memories; he wanted to make sure I got back this year so my sister could cut me off again, haha.

There was this one time when my sister was in High School and I was in Grade School, she and her friend took me and her friend's little brother to McDonald's. Her friend and her had been working or something, so they were all dirty or something, so when all these football players came in, we had to go hide in the back. I went to get a refill, and when I saw the crowd, I apparently decided it would be a good idea to pretend to faint. "OoOoOooooohhh, there's sooo many people! I think I'm going to faiiiiint!" And I started pretending to convulse on the ground or something. My sister was mortified. She tried to get me to get up from her hiding place, but I wasn't paying attention to her, so she had to come out and get me. The football players were like, "Is that your brother? He's weird."

...I assume you can tell that these are in no particular order.

[Tiffany]

Totally off topic, but is the graphic in your sig Arthur from the TV series Merlin? We just finished watching the series (wasn't impressed with the ending of it all) and it caught my eye

[noxious.sunshine]

My sister and I flew out to Phoenix to go get my car (which was in storage in Tucson).. We had a friend that happened to live down there come pick us up and we stayed the night with her...

We got pretty well trashed on the plane and played Scrabble.. Then after we landed & got picked up, we stopped at a QT gas station and got a couple of 4 pack bottles of wine and got even more trashed.. So when we got to TUcson, our friend went and got pot and we got mega stoned and even more drunk.

Welll this chick's boyfriend and her lived with the dude's dad and something happened where someone broke into his house and beat him with a golf club and it made him pretty much retarded. And this is bad, but my sister and I were pretty freaked out about the house and the dad situation in general, but my sister kept running off with our friend to the back of the house and left me alone with the dad.

ANd I was pissed. But anywho. So we're all ready for bed and the friend is like showing us the rooms we were "supposed' to sleep in, but we wound up staying in the same room 'cuz we were scared. We shared a twin bed that night and laughed for like an hour about the situation.. At some point "LAMP NO SHADE!" happened (I can't remember why or how or what, but I remember us saying that and joking about it for awhile). EIther way, it was hysterical. We'd try to go to sleep and then just bust out laughing about it all.

The next day we go get my car... My mom told me that there was a spare key under the gas cap.. She didn't tell me to use it, though. And my car is one of those that when you get a new key made, it has to be programmed to use that key. So I'm trying to use my old (original) key and the car won't start.. We go get a new battery- still won't start. Our friend used her Triple A to get the car towed to the Ford dealership and they start looking at it while my sister and I go grab lunch and some other stuff.

We get back and the mechanic is like "Do you have another key?" and I hand him the copy and it turned out that was the problem. My car had deprogrammed itself from the original when the new one got made. They programmed both keys to work with it, but my sister was ready to murder me... It was hilarious.


......... That's one of the last great memories I have with my sister.

[Cyanist]

Totally off topic, but is the graphic in your sig Arthur from the TV series Merlin? We just finished watching the series (wasn't impressed with the ending of it all) and it caught my eye

It certainly is, Tiff! And I very much agree with you, but I still admire the wardrobes. (OMG Did you see the special features? Colin Morgan and Bradley James playing pranks on Angel Coulby...then getting insanely scared of a spider in the bathtub... heh, heh, classic).

[ezio69]

One of my favourite memories from back home was when my dad lived with us and he would wake my brothers and sister and I for breakfast hotcakes and hashbrowns at Maccas. Didnt at all mind waking up early for that