Dani's story

**Lacquer Head** · 07-03-2013, 12:34 AM

Read the following: The girl in the window | Tampa Bay Times

The story starts out tragic, but ends on a happy note. Though the situation is obviously still ongoing...I'm truly hoping she makes it...this story was a bit too moving and feels me with all sorts of feels. I hope that one day I can adopt a child. I understand the mom was 2 points away from Forrest Gump level IQ, but it's honestly inconceivable to think that anyone, especially the rest of the family that knew it was going on, could let this happen. Then there's the ****ing fact that CPS didn't help til it was possibly too late...It's overwhelmingly depressing to think children can go through such situations, and yes, I know similar things go on all over the world, but to have it happen in a 1st world country is just unbelievable.

**Alpha** · 07-03-2013, 01:12 AM

I know similar things go on all over the world

Do you mean, "this could happen anywhere", or, "things like this happen in other countries often"? If the former, yes, absolutely. If the latter, no they don't, this is bizarre. There is no place on Earth where this would even be considered "extremely unusual". No matter how poor a place is, I guarantee 99.99999% of parents in all of human history have done better than this. It's just "straight ****ed". It's worse than murdering your own child.

I'm not sure that there's much to add to this. Like, I don't have a similar anecdote to share today.

So... um. I don't like the way that article is written. That's a very American style of journalism. At least I perceive it as American. In the "world" section of my local papers they usually purchase articles similar to this to take up half a page without any local reporters having to do anything. They're packaged up by AP most often, but I'm sure they come from papers like this. Lines like "Clutching his stomach, the rookie retched in the weeds." What the **** is that. It's not a novel. Just report what actually happened, without turning in a short story to impress your old English teachers.

**Lacquer Head** · 07-03-2013, 01:45 AM

Originally Posted by Alpha

Do you mean, "this could happen anywhere", or, "things like this happen in other countries often"? If the former, yes, absolutely. If the latter, no they don't, this is bizarre. There is no place on Earth where this would even be considered "extremely unusual". No matter how poor a place is, I guarantee 99.99999% of parents in all of human history have done better than this. It's just "straight ****ed". It's worse than murdering your own child.

Well, I mean things as horrible, child soldiers and all that shit

So... um. I don't like the way that article is written. That's a very American style of journalism. At least I perceive it as American. In the "world" section of my local papers they usually purchase articles similar to this to take up half a page without any local reporters having to do anything. They're packaged up by AP most often, but I'm sure they come from papers like this. Lines like "Clutching his stomach, the rookie retched in the weeds." What the **** is that. It's not a novel. Just report what actually happened, without turning in a short story to impress your old English teachers.

It's an exerpt/summary of the book the adoptive parents wrote.

**Alpha** · 07-03-2013, 01:51 AM

Originally Posted by Lacquer Head

It's an exerpt/summary of the book the adoptive parents wrote.

Well twist me nipple. My comment stands for those types of reports that I'm thinking of that read similarly to this but aren't as long.

**Sinister** · 07-03-2013, 01:58 AM

Oh great, Alpha, dis on Americans because they get wordy... Actually, I was thinking along similar lines, though not on national styles. It reads like that sprawling New Yorker shit, heavy with emotional appeals and scenery.

As to the story, it's fascinating. I've heard/read stories about feral children many times before. But take the instance reported in that article. The feral child found in the 1800s. But that was in the wilds of France; this is homegrown trailer trash. It's like something from a Rob Zombie movie. Either way, I can't say that I'm too angry at the parent. The whole affair is uncomfortable, sure. But she had an IQ of what? 77? Not to mention she sounded far away from receiving a clean bill of mental health. I'm not very impressed with CPS or the like. But in their defense, as well, I think we all charitably(naively) assumed the worst could never be quite so bad. Still, a real live feral child. I'm glad to say that it's as rare an occurrence as we're treating it. I just hope they have the chance to do some harmless research, as I don't imagine this opportunity presents itself to a scientific community often. And the story had a much happier ending than beginning.

-Sin

**noxious.sunshine** · 07-03-2013, 02:48 AM

This makes me think of Lauren - who appeared on the Dr. Phil show, known as "The Girl Locked in the Closet"..

Dr. Phil.com - Shows - The Girl in the Closet
Prosecutors: Girl Was Kept in Closet for Years - ABC News

It's a horrific story. I can't imagine putting -any- child through anything like this, much less my own. Things like this make me sick.

I agree with LH wholeheartedly. I understand children in other countries need help desperately, but there are children here in the U.S. that need help just as badly. I think that people have this sentiment/mentality/thinking that because we live in the U.S. and -do- live in a 1st World Country who want to adopt think that it's better to go to a different country to adopt.

I'm all for adopting and helping any child in need, but I think that we need to look to what's going on in our own nation and help out the situations here before moving on to help another one. That might sound really selfish and shady, but it's almost like being in a domestic relationship with 2 people - you can't be truly happy in a relationship until you're a whole person on your own. We need to be a whole country before being able to help others.

I hope that made sense. I'd rather rescue and adopt a child domestically than look to another country.

~ AUTO-MERGED POSTS ~

I also came across the term "Feral Child" and that terminology is completely sickening to me. They're not dogs or cats. They're -children-. Not animals. I understand that they may not have the ability to learn to grow into a "normally functioning" person/adult, but then again, maybe the system fails them anyway after taking custody from the parents. Sure they're safe, but what if the doctors and specialists just aren't good enough to handle these kinds of cases? Whatever the circumstance is, these poor children do -NOT- deserve to be labeled "Feral". I haven't heard that before when it comes to kids, but now that I have, it infuriates me.

And I'm sure there are -many- more cases of this that aren't being investigated or taken care of.

**Lacquer Head** · 07-03-2013, 12:09 PM

Well, it seems they're making some progress with Dani, so the label feral doesn't apply today, but generally if a child is neglected for the first 5 years of their life, with no real human contact, their brains have already developed without he various things that make us human. Those years are the most crucial and almost certainly irreversible. Perhaps Dani started to make a little progress because there was a SLIGHT bit of human involvement. But humans can indeed be feral (wild) thanks to environment conditions, it's not meant as an insult or label, but as a condition.

These two segments are what really made an impact and made me realize just how absolutely tragic the situation was.

"The importance of nurturing has been shown again and again. In the 1960s, psychologist Harry Harlow put groups of infant rhesus monkeys in a room with two artificial mothers. One, made of wire, dispensed food. The other, of terrycloth, extended cradled arms. Though they were starving, the baby monkeys all climbed into the warm cloth arms.

"Primates need comfort even more than they need food," Armstrong said."

"It's said that during the Holy Roman Empire, Frederick II gave a group of infants to some nuns. He told them to take care of the children but never to speak to them. He believed the babies would eventually reveal the true language of God. Instead, they died from the lack of interaction."

It's absolutely heartbreaking. Though I do have the usual biological need to spread my seed and all that, I have to adopt one day.

**Odin1199** · 07-03-2013, 10:00 PM

Yeah, we are born as a blank slate and need nurturing and interacting with our own, otherwise this happens.

**Alpha** · 07-03-2013, 10:07 PM

Yeah, @Nox, it's not intended as a derogatory term. It just means that a child has been raised as though they developed autonomously, alone, in the wild. Sans interaction. But as humans are fundamentally social creatures, being "feral" is essentially a mental disability. I believe the term used in the article is "environmental autism", which sounds apt.

**noxious.sunshine** · 07-04-2013, 09:31 PM

I understand that that's what it means, but it still just.. Unnerves me. I'm sorry, but it does. And I'm sorry, but I still feel that regardless of the lack of nurturing in a child's most formative stage doesn't mean that they can't learn -something- later on, and it doesn't mean that they deserve to be called something like that. That's just how I feel. Whether it's meant as derogatory or not, calling a child "Feral" makes my skin crawl.

**Lacquer Head** · 07-04-2013, 10:07 PM

Well, around 85% of crucial brain development happens during the first 5 years of brain growth, during these years, we are formed by our surroundings. It's considered a mental disorder. The various cases have been studied and various doctors and such found that these people are generally incapable of normal behavior, talking, social skills and so on. It's possible that they will never be able to learn to communicate or bond with another person. As awful as it is, they really are wild human beings. There's obviously a lot of work and research left to understand the disorder. I assume it's related to sociopathic disorders, conditioned by your environment instead of born that way. They're normal people warped by their environment, more or less.

**noxious.sunshine** · 07-05-2013, 04:24 AM

Right, and that's all fine and well, it's just the whole "Feral" thing unsettles me. There's no argument that can convince me otherwise. I know that that's how it is and it is a legitimate disorder and whatever, but calling a child "Feral" is just... I feel like they don't deserve it.

**Alpha** · 07-05-2013, 04:57 AM

I think you're attaching notions to the word that aren't actually part of its definition.

Dictionary.com defines it as follows:

1. existing in a natural state, as animals or plants; not domesticated or cultivated; wild.
2. having reverted to the wild state, as from domestication.
3. of or characteristic of wild animals.

Environmental autism works for me, but feral/wild still works, but I do know how you feel. If I had my way I would punch anyone who uses the term "retard", although every time I pull someone up for using it they just tell me that it means "delayed" or "hindered". So I empathise.

**Pete** · 07-27-2013, 08:23 AM

Sounds pretty standard for Florida if you ask me.

But truth be told, the story is tragic, and really makes me think that people should have to be granted a license to have children, preferably after taking an IQ test.

**che** · 07-27-2013, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by Pete

But truth be told, the story is tragic, and really makes me think that people should have to be granted a license to have children, preferably after taking an IQ test.

This may be pretty feral of me, but even though I'd love for that to work, it'd be much like making weed illegal. People are still gonna do it, it just won't be regulated. It'll probably be worse than it is now.