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Thread: D00d.

  1. #1
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    D00d.


  2. #2
    The Mad God D00d. Heartless Angel's Avatar
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    I've seen this before, and very seriously considered sending some elephant shit to some asshat.
    For Our Lord Sheogorath, without Whom all Thought would be linear and all Feeling would be fleeting. Blessed are the Madmen, for they hold the keys to secret knowledge. Blessed are the Phobic, always wary of that which would do them harm. Blessed are the Obsessed, for their courses are clear. Blessed are the Addicts, may they quench the thirst that never ebbs. Blessed are the Murderous, for they have found beauty in the grotesque. Blessed are the Firelovers, for their hearts are always warm. Blessed are the Artists, for in their hands the impossible is made real. Blessed are the Musicians, for in their ears they hear the music of the soul. Blessed are the Sleepless, as they bask in wakeful dreaming. Blessed are the Paranoid, ever-watchful for our enemies. Blessed are the Visionaries, for their eyes see what might be. Blessed are the Painlovers, for in their suffering, we grow stronger. Blessed is the Madgod, who tricks us when we are foolish, punishes us when we are wrong, tortures us when we are unmindful, and loves us in our imperfection.





  3. #3
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    Yes. I want to do it to. I wanna send it to my ex's work. Just to be a ****.

  4. #4
    Chief Inspiring Officer D00d. Cyanist's Avatar
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    Darnnit! I don't know anyone mean enough to send one to! I feel...so left out...

    Oh, wait, maybe my little sister's ex bf who made her move to North Carolina so I couldn't see her sweet wittle face... it's nothing personal, sir...just a little something that made me think of you...
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  5. #5
    Permanently Banned loaf's Avatar
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    I'll send that someone who would appreciate it, not waste it on someone who is going to just be WTF? and throw it away with no thought. Poop to someone you don't like? That's old, Like 1940's old. If you truly dislike someone just go around saying they gave you chlamydia or herpes.
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  6. #6
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    He'd know it was me. He knows I'm bat shit crazy enough to pull a stunt like that. I've already broken expensive electronics in his presence. heh.

  7. #7
    Permanently Banned loaf's Avatar
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    Why would you break things people bought. I never understood that gesture, you are just showing how childish you are.
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    CPC8! - Pimpin' is easy

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  8. #8
    (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) D00d. che's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loaf View Post
    Poop to someone you don't like?
    I dunno why, but this was the first post I read in this thread. And it confused me. I was like, oh we're pooping to people now? Like masturbating to people/things? GEEZ when does it end?

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  9. #9
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    Well. Yes. I agree. The MacBook was mine that I sold to him 'cuz I needed the money baaad. And the t.v. well.. I threw my remote not aiming for the t.v., but that's where it went and it broke the screen.

    Our relationship was very toxic. Mostly 'cuz he was a ****. He had that whole passive-agressive thing going on that drives me up the wall. He'd always accuse me of cheating (I never did), but then he'd be like "It's ok! If he makes you happy, go with him!", thus making me flip out. He'd play -that- game, but then the few times I'd see his phone, some girl would be texting him. "Papi, prestame dinero!" (Daddy, loan me money!) or "Hey baby, what'chu doin'?" ... Not to mention all the times he'd stay out 'till 3/4/5 a.m., ignore my phone calls or say he was at work drinking with his buddies in the parking lot and come home wasted, wake up my daughter, and yes, several times he punched me in my temple. He'd claim that I was lying the next morning 'cuz he remembered nothing. And yeah, one night, I drove to his work after he'd said he was still working (sorry, it doesn't take 2 hrs to shut down a restaurant when you're a server), no one was there. He made up some excuse about having to take someone home and they invited him for a drink. Bullshit.

    In my experience, when you accuse your significant other of cheating, 9 times out of 10 it's because you have a guilty conscience about -something- / you're doing it yourself. It's all in the past, there's no need to analyze or ask "why didn't you leave?" and stuff. There's a lot more that when on than just that stuff. I just don't like talking about it anymore. I was never an angry person until the shit started with him and we were always having problems.

    ~ AUTO-MERGED POSTS ~

    wowwwww.. Yes, dear Che, we now poop to people.

  10. #10
    Bananarama D00d. Pete's Avatar
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    Oh who doesn't love toxic relationships? My ex tried to run me over in the driveway of my house while I was in college. I was lucky that she drove a little Celica and that I was able to jump over the hood. Of course, I go back upstairs and crack a few beers with my friends afterwards. I didn't know it until last year, but they all used to take bets and play a drinking game based on if we'd end up banging after our fights, which were quite constant.

    One time, after we broke up, she called me while I was at a bar with some friends. I told her to meet me at the bar, and in that time, a girl who wanted me pretty badly from one of my classes saw me, sat on my lap and was pretty much holding hands with me... it was a lock. Then my ex rolls into the bar and flips her shit. Needless to say, nothing ever happened there.

    Later in that year, she came to my house crying and blubbering that she got an abortion with her new bf at the time. I told her if it wasn't mine, I didn't care. A few weeks later i was so hammered that I tried to send her the word coathanger, but was too drunk to even accomplish it with one eye closed.

    My last ex texted me this past St. Paddys day asking me to pick her up at the train station. I told her to **** off, since after we broke up she asked me where I bought my condoms from. I not so politely told her that I didn't give a shit what she does and that I wasn't a fan of her or any of her friends.

    If I could send her a dumptruck full of elephant shit, I absolutely would, right on her car.
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  11. #11
    Gingersnap D00d. OceanEyes28's Avatar
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    Well, my manager ordered new shirts, and didn't order any smalls, so here I am in a goddamn men's medium lookin like

    and HIS boss is like "well can you tuck it in?" and I'm like "YEAH good thing I wore my black hole pants today so there's some place for all this ****in fabric to go!" Just KIDDING it hangs out over my pants and I wiggle it for customers.

    He said "I thought you wore a medium." Mother****er, ain't nothin about me medium, except the medium-sized SHIT I'm gonna mail you when I get to the house!

    You bitch.

    (see, I tied it all together)
    Last edited by OceanEyes28; 05-13-2013 at 05:06 PM.
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  12. #12
    Bananarama D00d. Pete's Avatar
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    Ally, it's been scientifically proven and confirmed by me that you're in no way a mens medium, and that you're a. tiny, and b. adorable.

    Granted, the second time we met, Tiff and I got hammered, but it's all good in the hood

    And for the record, I wear a mens medium, and I'm 5'8" and 170. Ally is 5' even on a good day, and I'd guess 105 if she had a really hearty meal.
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  13. #13
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    OH OH OH Pete got stories!

    Francisco stabbed me in the foot with a fork one night. And hit a vein. My living room looked like a crime scene for a week 'cuz I just couldn't deal with it. I couldn't put on a sock - much less a shoe - for 4 days. Had to call out of work. And of course I had to take pictures of everything so that my managers would believe me - even though I called out well ahead of the required time limit (3 hrs before a shift). It was humiliating. Yeah, I was trashed drunk, but we got into it about IDK what. He was eating the dinner that I'd cooked for him, I had my foot on the edge of the coffee table and out of nowhere "POP!" my foot was bleeding like a mofo. He now claims that A.) It was an accident, B.) It was -my- fault, C.) He doesn't really believe I was in as much pain as I was in because he lost his big toe nail whilst throwing out our couch.

    I've lost nails all the fecking day. It's -nothing- compared to a fork stabbing. I still got the four dots on my foot. He also stabbed me in the hand with a steak knife, which I give him, -was- an accident. But he hit me in the thumb pad or whatever and you could see the muscle tissue plain as day.

    My ex in Phoenix? YEah... more hideous stories.

    ~ AUTO-MERGED POSTS ~

    also, I'm 5'0" and like idk how much I weigh. It's going down down down though. YAY!

    ~ AUTO-MERGED POSTS ~

    Oh and some of the blood stains in the carpet didn't dry for over 48 hours. That's how much a bled / saturated the carpet was in some spots

  14. #14
    I invented Go-Gurt. D00d. Clint's Avatar
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    Kim Jong-un is kind of a ****. I would have no problem sending him a bag of shit. Unfortunately, FexEx doesn't ship to North Korea. It says so on their website. The closest I can get is South Korea.

  15. #15
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    You could always pay someone to smuggle it over....

  16. #16
    That's crazy stuff. I bet the FedEx guys get ecstatic handling these types of packages.

  17. #17
    Sicc in the head & n0t sober. D00d. noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    ahaha it's like killing about 5 birds with one stone! the delivery men, and the person you're sending it to

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