Caught with your pants down.

[Meier Link]

Ok so a few months back the girlfriend and I were in the middle of some causal consentual adult time (hint fornicating) when suprisingly her daughter walked in and killed the mood and embarassed the hell out of me. She was quickly told to leave the room and go back to bed. She was upset but did as she was told.

The next day she informed her mom that she saw my butt and asked her why I was being mean to her (the girlfrind). The girlfriend quickly dismissed the question and pulled the jedi mind trick on her and told her she was just dreaming. I her responce to be halarious until I was put on the spot myself by her daughter and was forced to repeat the cover up that her mom had used.

Last night we were in the middle of some adult time again and boom the door swung open and the daughter was standing there upset screaming at me to be nice to her mommy. This time not so funny.

I know it is now time to buy a lock so no need to mention that but the question is "how do I explain what was going on " if I am confronted by her daughter again. Keep in mind that the girl is 4 years old so the "talk" is not appropriate just yet at this stage in her life.

Also this thread is not intended as a gateway for open discussion about sex so keep that talk out of the post content.

Oh and I might add that I now have somewhat of a phobia of this event repeting itself again and bypassed the thoughts of doing what was going on again tonight because of it.traumitised.

[Alpha]

...You know I actually have nothing. I have no idea what you can do except keep saying that she was dreaming and hope that because she's four years old she may not remember the sight of your ass and that it therefore will not scar her for life.

The thought of your ass has already scarred me.

[nickness89]

Say you're pretend wrestling, I have been told that excuse works wonders.

Although she will probably still be wondering why your ass was in full-view

[Rocky]

God, I hated the awkward times of growing up and discovering pr0n on the internets for the first time. And the whole getting caught while fapping thing is just the awkward of all awkward situations lol. I've had a couple of times where it's been like close calls but I'm like "damn I wonder if they know.." And then you get the massive amount of questions flying through your head like, hmm what do I do now? idk if I should finish, or if I should just keel over and die from embarrassment. Is mom going to take me to church tomorrow? Is dad going to judge me because I was looking at black women that time?

Anyways that some Seinfeld talk for ya, now I'm going to finish up and eat my banana.

[che]

Really? She told her daughter that she dreamed up seeing a man's ass, on top of her mommy? I dunno man, she obviously didn't buy it. It's not like she probably knew what a man's ass looked like before. You can't keep playing the dream card. I dunno where I'd go from there. Good luck.

Also this thread is now about sex.

[Yoko]

Well, funny story. This happened last night.....

Oh Wait

....>.>

....<.<

...You don't want this to be about sex? Sex is fun.

Anyway, I think the wrestling idea is the best one here. Four year olds are pretty smart. They can put 2 and 2 together. The young ones I know anyway. You can try to keep telling her it's a dream, but I think she'll get it soon enough.

You are right though. She is a wee bit young for the sex talk. Boys have cooties at that age. However, you shouldn't just shrug it off. She'll probably remember every time she sees your face. Seeing as she remembered from a few months ago, she already seems to be catching on that something is going on. I don't know...I'll just stop talking

[Polk]

Boys have cooties at that age

Girls still have cooties. Some things never change.

On topic: Tell the kid that you were showing her mom a magic trick. If she asks to see the trick, backhand her across the face and tell her to get a job. That's what my dad did.

[nickness89]

I'm sorry this is a bit off-topic, it's just that cooties was mentioned ...

In my entire life living in Scotland, I have never heard of cooties, is this an American thing? There's the song cooties at the end of 'Hairspray' and it doesn't really elaborate on what it is

[Cereal~Killer]

I've never been caught having sex, mostly since I don't have alot of experience in the sex department (), though with an ex of mine, when we would be getting things started, her two brothers would bust in through the door for laughs.

I have been caught masturbating, though. A few times.

[RagnaToad]

The thing that struck me is that the daughter saw it as something negative, asking for you to 'be nice' to her mum rather than do what you did. I don't think the daughter is in need of 'the talk' because, like you said Meier, she's kind of young. But if I was in this situation I'd try to explain that that was just some fun that adults have when they're in love or something grown up like that. 'Naked hugging' or whatever.

I can imagine this would be hard to make believable if you were really, pardon my French, 'pounding' her mother, which might have made it look like you were not being nice to her.

Or maybe I just don't know anything about raising kids. You're the dad here, Meier.

Also, I have seen my bedroom door being opened during my intercourse with the girlfriend on more than on occasion. Needless to say, it is never a good thing when the opener of that door is related to you.

[GypsyElder]

.... A dream? I'm sorry but that was a pretty horrible cover up baha.

It MIGHT have worked, had she not walked in a second time. Also, you must be doing something right, enough to get the daughter's attention to bust in twice in a row rwar.

I have been caught masturbating, though. A few times.

Omg that sucks.

Story please.

[seanb]

If me and my girlfriend were getting hot and steamy, and her four year old walked in, I would get even more aroused ...

[nix]

Grown ups use the bed as a towel after showers and work as a team to dry one another... Boom !

Sorted...

[Pete]

Yeah, a lock might be a good investment there.

If it were me, I would just yell to get out, and then pretend it never happened. If the kid brings it up, it still never happened, and you have no recollection of it... ever.

As for me, I've almost been caught several times... sometimes intentionally.

My first time ever, the girls mom popped her head in the room, as my spider sense told me to pull out and pull my pants up. I totally ninja'd that shit.

Another time, I was enjoying car sex and one of my friends knocked on the window and asked if I wanted a beer. He couldn't see anything, because my then gf was wearing a longer skirt, which just covered everything. The beer was delicious and cold.

Yet another time, I was having sex with a girl in my room, when her best friend popped the door open. Funny story about that one; earlier that night, when we were making out in our party attic, she said she wasn't gonna have sex with me. As the party wound down, I hit the sack, and she decided she wanted to say goodnight. We start going at it, and just going for a good while, when I hear my doorknob turn and the light from the living room spreads wide against my bed. I don't know how many people got a clear view of my ass, but I thought it was hilarious.

And yet another time, I was hooking up with a girl that I was sorta going out with, in the parking lot of a Cheesecake Factory. We were both shirtless and just going at it, as youngin's tend to do. My windows were cracked slightly, and I hear a muted cough... close. Two mexican busboys on bicycles were watching us and checking out the girls rack... which was quite nice if I do say so myself.

[Unknown Entity]

Say you'd been naughty, and had to have your bottom spanked.

No, but seriously, the wrestling excuse works. Just say her mum was pretending to be hurt, and that your butt was bare because your pants fell off in the middle of a match. Or that you were just playing some game kids aren't allowed to play, but that one could lead to awkward "how?" questions. The "dreaming" one will stop working eventually.

Only other thing I can suggest is you try more quiet stuff.

Never been caught... just always disturbed when doing things alone. Even when the ****ing house is empty, the postman has to pick his moment to deliver something doesn't he?

[Lucid]

o.O

[Tallulah]

I heard a rumour that, a few years ago, two of my co-workers (who are always in an on-off relationship, and have been since I knew them) got off together (and more!) in the inside stockroom at work. There are no cameras in there, and there's a latch on the door, so nobody was any the wiser.

I'm getting some ideas...

[seanb]

I heard a rumour that, a few years ago, two of my co-workers (who are always in an on-off relationship, and have been since I knew them) got off together (and more!) in the inside stockroom at work. There are no cameras in there, and there's a latch on the door, so nobody was any the wiser.

I'm getting some ideas...

I'll give you my e-mail address

[Chez Daja]

Hmm, well, no offence bud, but you guys should have bought a lock after the first time it happened. You folks be careful now and make sure to always block the door. Kids have big mouths as well so maybe figure out a better way of dealing with it than 'it was an illuuuuussssion'.

Have I ever been caught? Funny story. About a year and a bit ago, I was ...less than sober in a tent in my former back garden. My boyfriend was there. We got a little frisky. Suddenly I hear the door opening to my old house and my pop steps out for a cigarette. Luckily we were shielded by the tent but I realised as soon as he'd gone in that he probably saw our silhouettes... I would have noticed this right away if I'd been sober... Another time, boyfriends' sister walked in but we weren't naked at that point so not so bad.
My mother once found a used condom in my room. She knew what I used that room for but it was still kind of disgusting -- I'd left home at that point and it must have fallen down the back of the bed or something. I always wonder if she used a glove or a tissue to pick it up... bahaha.

[sayian]

theres absolutely no legitimate believeable lie to cover up a real reason for being bucket nekkid with that girls mom.... lol

[Tallulah]

I'm glad I live alone. Although the walls of these terraces are paper-thin. I was thinking of apologising to the neighbours after last night. Argh!