Advice Wanted on how to deal with a bad Neighbor

**Locke4God** · 10-27-2009, 04:59 AM

Alright I've got an issue with my neighbor and I'm not quite sure how to go about handling it, so any advice would be appreciated.

First off, I live in a townhouse, so right beside my neighbor. The old lady who lives there is great, but her daughter is another story. (no she's not hot. We'll just clear that up right away). The background on her is that she's a single mom with 3 illegitimate kids to 3 different dads. She's a dropout who never works, she's around 26, and as stated above she lives at home. And naturally she has a lot of deadbeat friends who come over to hang out when her mom isn't home. She also smokes a shit load of pot, which isn't all bad, except she smokes it at 7am when I'm heading out the door for work.

Alright now for the good stuff.

She frequently will stop by after my wife gets home to ask her to borrow kitchen items, salt or suger, but sometimes more expensive things like cans of pasta sauce. Really? My wife has stopped answering the door. I mean you get 1 or 2 borrows every so often, but this is a weekly thing now. She also will occassionally ask for rides to the courthouse or some such place.

But wait it gets better.

Two weeks ago she knocked on the door. I was in my boxers so I didn't answer, but then an hour later my wife and I are leaving to go get some dinner, and she confronts us in the driveway asking if she could borrow $12. Really? I got panhandled in my driveway! We inquire as to what for, and she supposedly has a swollen node in her boob or something, I don't know. Anyway, we ask where her mom is. She explains that her mom is at an Orlando Magic game, to which I replied, "Oh, so she'll be home in a couple of hours," and the girl sort of dropped it at that, after I finally said we didn't have any cash on us.

But wait, it gets even better.

This week, as I was leaving for work, I was relieved that there was no pot smoke, as she was walking one of her kids presumably to the bus stop. But no! She was actually walking him to school, which I know to be over 2 miles away. She stops me and asks if I can give the kid a ride to school!! Really? Now she doesn't know me. I could be a former child rapist for all she knows. And we're not friends with her, so why would she ask such a personal favor? She's a deadbeat. I just don't care to associate with her.

But wait, it might get ever better than that.

Three weeks ago we apparently left our car unlocked, and somebody had simply opened the door and taken our portable GPS device along with a few dollars in coins. Really? Now I don't really know that I blame her or her loser friends for this, but then this week after we had installed a motion detecting front porch light, we noticed one of her friends, smoking at the corner of our house, lean over and take a long look in our car. When the light came on, he complained about how bright it was. It's not that bright, and we made the effort to turn the light downward so they didn't hit the street. It's a normal light, but regardless, I'm highly suspicious now.

So the question is, what in the hell do I do about this? Do I confront her next time and tell her to leave me the hell alone? Do I confront her and tell her she's an idiot? Do I tell her mom behind her back, because her mom actually seems pretty nice and I think she might listen to me on this? Do I call the police about the car issue and have them figerprint her and her friends? Do I keep ignoring her, which is the current plan?

What would you do in this situation? It's not the absolute worst situation in the world, but it's a little unsettling at times. What do you think?

**Josh_R** · 10-27-2009, 06:21 AM

Well your plan to ignore her has not been working so it is time to take some action and do something..Personally I would not call the police but that is just because I like to handle shit like that on my own, as for confronting her I doubt it would make a difference she would probably tell you to f*ck off or soemthing like that. I would go and speak directly with her mom and bitch and complain about her the situation, as for her dirtbag friends a simple ass kicking should do the trick, this is how I would handle it...

**Jin** · 10-27-2009, 07:31 AM

Flaming bag of dog poop. Done.

**Cheesevixen** · 10-27-2009, 08:19 AM

First talk to the sheriff and let him know what is going on. Because if you wait to long to notify them there is very little chance they will be able to do anything. They will probably tell you to try and handle it yourself, but still make them aware you are trying to be the adult. Then go to mom. Although, seeing as she raised such a bastard child I don't see that taking you very far. However, try it. See if this B actually listens to her mom. If all the above doesn't work. The next time she shows up at the door take out your gun, point it at her face, and tell her to **** off. That seems to work where I'm from. :-) Sadly enough we do this to anyone who knocks on our doors...except for my family. We are probably the only one around those parts without a gun. LOL

**Zerobanshee** · 10-27-2009, 09:45 AM

I agree with Cheese.

Unfortunately, you're going to be dealing with her for the next eternity, until you either move out, or she does. Since it doesn't seem to come to that, just next time she decides to be a total pain in the ass, knocking on your door, just open it up, and pull out a Glock to her face. A loaded gun should get the point across.

If that doesn't work, get a big, big dog. Make sure she see's the damn thing, that might make her think twice.

And if that doesn't work, you could always hire a ninja to keel her deadbeat buddies.

Che · 10-27-2009, 09:53 AM

I'd talk to her mom first. Obviously the chick isn't sane enough to cooperate with anything, she never gets your hints and just lives off of other people helping her out. I'd knock on the door and politely ask to speak with her mother and express that you're concerned for the girl. Don't mention the GPS. Set up a motion camera outside that starts recording when it senses movement.

If talking to the mother doesn't work, then I'd say go to the police. It may be too late to file a report after that to the police, so I'd say if you really wanted your GPS back and aren't happy, which I can understand because GPS devices are expensive, I'd go to the police now.

Basically you're trading a good relationship with your neighbors (or at least one of them) for possibly getting your GPS device. However, if you get your GPS device back by going to the police, there's no telling what her loser friends might try to do to get back at you.

Also: fuck neighbors.

**RagnaToad** · 10-27-2009, 10:16 AM

I would strongly encourage you to ignore all comments about putting a gun to her head.

For the annoying stuff: I would just tell her politely that she seems to be borrowing a lot of stuff, and that her friends are not appreciated. Confront her with that. If she doesn't get the hint, try being more serious. Talk about how you don't like the fact that she always knocks on your door, that you are fond of your privacy and your time, and that you really don't like her bothering you, when all she ever wants is to receive, no to give. If that still doesn't work, try being angry, without coming across as a violent man. Show that you're fed up.

Unfortunately, some people are just too stupid to see the wrong in their own behaviour, even when other people point it out. She doesn't sound like an intelligent woman, but you should give it a try.

As for the GPS thing, I'm not sure what you should do. Calling the cops won't get you your GPS back I think. Like Cheese said, if you live in a small town, try talking to the sheriff so that he knows what's going on with that woman. An official complaint will probably not do much good, as she didn't really invade your property, and you can't be 100% sure that one of her friends has something to do with the burglary.

**Cheesevixen** · 10-27-2009, 10:19 AM

oh dear lol I was only joking about the gun to the face. Please don't do that. XD Maybe just get her a kitten; wait until she's attached to it, and then accidentally run it over with your car.....again....joking. :-)

Che · 10-27-2009, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by Cheesevixen

oh dear lol I was only joking about the gun to the face. Please don't do that. XD Maybe just get her a kitten; wait until she's attached to it, and then accidentally run it over with your car.....again....joking. :-)

ROFL. This might work, actually. Make sure she's watching. Let's see her try to ask for shit after you tell her "Oh, my bad." and drive off too work like you don't care.

**OceanEyes28** · 10-27-2009, 10:36 AM

The next time she asks for money, give her a job application and a smile.

**Locke4God** · 10-27-2009, 10:40 AM

Hummmmm, dead kitties and guns. Nice.

Yeah I'm worried about damaging the relationship to the point she becomes dangerous. I don't give a **** about her, but would she key my car, or smash the windows, or have her friends do it? I wouldn't put it past her. I like the idea of talking to her mom and also her the next time she asks for something over the top. I won't press it if she's asking for salt.

My wife had a good idea though, and that's to call child services on her ass. She's up at 7am smoking pot with 3 kids in the house, she doesn't work, and she lets them play in the street unsupervised. We're talking about 4-7 year olds here. Our thought was that once you do that, they can show up and inspect her at any time for the next couple of months so perhaps that would force her overall behavior to straighten out. What do you guys think about that?

**Phantom** · 10-27-2009, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by Cheesevixen

oh dear lol I was only joking about the gun to the face. Please don't do that. XD Maybe just get her a kitten; wait until she's attached to it, and then accidentally run it over with your car.....again....joking. :-)

lol

With this kind of issue, Violence isn't the answer, in fact I wouldn't use violence at all especially against a woman of any kind. Locke I would say that your family needs to eat too and times are tough, you can understand that, but it's time you did something for yourself and helped out yourself and your kids. If she needs help looking for work, then help her find work, drive her to certain places in your town that are hiring, make her fill out applications. Hopefully in the long run she'll find work and the effort you made will be well worth the trouble.

**Cheesevixen** · 10-27-2009, 10:59 AM

CPS???? I think the gun idea is better than that. She may be an annoyance, but I don't think that is a reason to take her children away from her. Especially since it is not the kids fault. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. She may be a good mother. Just because she smokes pot doesn't disqualify her from parenting. In other countries pot is legal to smoke, and people have been able to raise their kids just fine. Putting someone through what your wife is suggesting is one of the biggest evils in my book. It's malicious and foul. you would be surpassing this bitch's evils in my book.

You keep borrowing sugar so I'm going to try and get your kids separated and scarred for life. >> nice wife

**Locke4God** · 10-27-2009, 11:05 AM

@ Phantom - no no no,,, I don't want to hear the "times are tough" excuse for this girl. She didn't have a job 3 years ago, the economy has nothing to do with it, She's a loser. Besides the economy didn't make her have 3 illegitimate children to 3 different guys. I truly appreciate the comment, but don't be the person that makes excuses for everybody.

By the way I was talking to this guy the other day. He's a deadbeat too. Hasn't had a consistent job in who knows how long. Years. Anyway, we're talking about work and he's like, "yeah times are tough." I wanted to scream "BULLSHIT" at him. Seriously, the father of 3 who has been working his ass off running a roofing business gets to complain about the economy. Mr. High School dropout, hasn't done anything better than push buggies at Target his whole life, doesn't. So getting back to my girl, she doesn't need somebody telling her how bad she has it. She needs a gigantic kick in the ass and somebody to tell her how much of a **** up she is.

@ Cheesevixen - Yeah I agree, CPS is probably over the top, but it's more than just about the pot. She lets her kids play in the street unsupervised. I've almost run over her daughter twice. Once her son came flying out from behind her mom's car on a bike as I was pulling up to the drive, and she was nowhere to be found. I know you guys don't get to see her, but I don't think there's much room for doubt that she's a pretty shitty mom. Now I agree, you don't really get CPS involved unless she's beating them or something, so you're right there, but I don't know. Smoking around your kids? Neglecting them? She's toeing the line a bit. If one of them gets run over would you feel the same way about calling them in? I hear you that you can't just call them in and I agree,,,,,,,,,,,, but,,,,,,,,, god damn I hate this woman!! :-)

**Rocky** · 10-27-2009, 11:21 AM

I would first talk to the mom about the whole situation, like the begging and the smell of marijuana from the house. If anything, maybe the mom could put a stop to things. However, if she decides to retaliate, she is going to know who did this, so she will probably go after you and your stuff.

If you wanted to take it to the next level, you could call in DHS on her ass. For all you know, she could be dealing pot or something, and if people from the government found that out about your friend, she could probably end up in jail/parole, have the kids taken away, being evicted from their homes, etc. The downside is that it would be taking it out on the family as well as the daughter, especially if the kids get taken away or if the family is thrown out on the streets. Also, this could be a safe way for you to do so, since you don't even have to have a vaild complaint on someone to get an "investigation" run on them, and you can stay anonymous, even though it probably won't take much to figure out who did it.

For a third option, is there some landlord for the townhouses you can get into contact with? If you can, I would complain to them and tell them what is going on, because then they will be obligated to handle the situation before it gets to become a very big problem.

It seems in any case, you will probably be the target of retaliation if the crazy lady decides to do such a thing, but if anything, I would go with the mom first, then the landlord, then the DHS.

**Cheesevixen** · 10-27-2009, 11:21 AM

lol I don't mean to be so harsh about it. I was in a home for two years, and I was so traumatized I have now suffer from severe memory loss and borderline personality disorder. It was HORRIBLE, and I was getting my ass beat every day at home. Still wish I could have stayed at home instead of going to the hell hole.

However, if she is not supervising her kids and they are in danger than, yes, the authorities need to at least keep an eye on this B.

**Locke4God** · 10-27-2009, 12:07 PM

@ Cheese - I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know how to phrase this, but as bad as it was I hope there was a reason for it and it was otherwise better than what could have been. Take faith that I would never spite somebody at the expense of others, esspecially children, but I don't honestly think these kids have a much better future ahead of them than being beggers, strippers, and petty criminals. Still I'm not ready to call CPS. A child can always rise above his parent's station in life, but only if the parent gives them the life lessons and strength of character to do so. I feel bad for kids that have worthless parents. Not parents who are abusive, but lazy parents who just don't care, and don't teach their kids how to survive in the world. Those kids grow up to wonder why everybody else doesn't just give them what they want, and well,,,,,,,, watch the news.

Che · 10-27-2009, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by Locke4God

@ Cheese - I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know how to phrase this, but as bad as it was I hope there was a reason for it and it was otherwise better than what could have been. Take faith that I would never spite somebody at the expense of others, esspecially children, but I don't honestly think these kids have a much better future ahead of them than being beggers, strippers, and petty criminals. Still I'm not ready to call CPS. A child can always rise about his parents station in life, but only if the parent gives them the life lessons and strength of character to do so. I feel bad for kids that have worthless parents. Not parents who are abusive, but lazy parents who just don't care, and don't teach their kids how to survive in the world. Those kids grow up to wonder why everybody else doesn't just give them what they want, and well,,,,,,,, watch the news.

These kids have a chance to turn out better than the kids of the parents who do the exact same thing as this chick does, except they get away with it because their husbands are rich and live in Nor Cal.

**Pete** · 10-27-2009, 12:40 PM

I'd go to the mom first, tell her about everything, and see what happens. It doesn't sound like she did a bang up job raising her kid, so it could be a trend. However, from what you say, she sounds more normal than the other, so it's worth a shot. Also, don't lend them shit anymore. You're being nice, but also enabling her. If everyone keeps giving her stuff, she won't learn to get it herself. Ally's idea about the job app is also ****ing brilliant.

I would then see if things shape up after a week or two, if not, have a little chat with the woman. Slip in something about how you saw a CPS car roll by the other day, and see what she says. If she calls your bluff, tell her you don't have a problem making it happen. If she gives a shit about her kids at all, she'll shape up.

Lastly, like Che said, get the motion detection camera if you think anyone will screw with your stuff. Even if they don't, it's a nice deterrent.

**loaf** · 10-27-2009, 02:27 PM

Have an apple war. Start chucking apples over their wall into their yard.

**Locke4God** · 10-27-2009, 02:57 PM

I like the idea about the motion camera by Che. That's good stuff, and would give my wife some piece of mind at the very least. We have stopped loaning the woman anything quite some time ago, but that hasn't deterred her from asking unfortunately. The job application won't do any good because the woman doesn't want to work. It'd be like giving a homeless man $100. You know that's not going to smart-casual interview attire.

**Polk** · 10-27-2009, 11:04 PM

Beat her at her own game. Keep asking her for shit. If you see her leave something in the yard, take it. Then, once she gets upset and is all like, "hey, stop mooching off of me!" then you can say, "there, see how it feels?" (you should probably have your wife standing ready at the time to play some touching, "neighbor learns a valuable lesson about life" music with a boombox when it happens). Then she'll be all like, "omg I never knew it annoyed you this much! I'm so sorry!!!!!" Then you two can have a long embrace. She'll most likely change her ways after that: give up pot, get a job, stop hanging around with a bad crowd, etcetera.

Then you knock her ass out and steal her weed. That'll show that bitch a thing or two.