Everybody wants their loved ones to live, that's a given.

Nobody is happy watching someone deteriorate either, also a given.

You were relieved when it happened because he was free of pain, also a common feeling.

To grant that freedom sooner is among the most difficult choices a person can ever make. Nobody gets out of a situation like that without some pain. Somebody has to be selfish.

A somewhat selfless man would never ask for the relief of death to be given by his family, just because it's a given that almost everybody thinks as you do, at very least to some minor extent, and making that request is going to hurt family and friends whether they agree to it or not. If they agree, they feel the pain of loss, amplified by making the descision to cause it. If they don't, they feel the pain of knowing the person they care for continues to suffer, a lesser pain, but pain nonetheless.

A truly selfless man wouldn't even make mention of their suffering. Taking the pain entirely upon himself, asking no shoulder to cry on, to keep his family and friends happy for a little while longer, that is the ultimate gift a dying man can give.

Unfortunately not all men are selfless. Fewer still are truly selfless. Not all men are strong enough to shoulder that burden alone. When a dying man DOES make the descision nobody wants to hear, the burden falls to the family.

As I previously agreed to, nobody wants their loved ones to die. This is why many are appalled by the suggestion of euthanasia. Loss and pain are some of, if not THE most powerful motivators for a person. To make the descision to let a man die, is to accept not only the pain of losing a loved one, but the pain of having chosen or allowed it yourself, entirely for the benefit of a suffering loved one. To take on that pain yourself solely to ease the suffering of another, particularly one whom you care for, that is true selflessness.

Inversely, this is why it's selfish to deny a man the right to die when he's chosen it. Instead of taking his pain on yourself and releasing him, you choose to shield yourself from it with false hope of recovery, and a belief that letting him continue to live is doing him a favor. And when the gamble is lost, as it almost always is, you feel a sense of relief their pain is over, and you diminish the pain you're obligated to feel at a loved one's death, not having to have made the impossible choice yourself.