Poetry from The Grey Recluse

[The_Dream_Recluse]

After reading some of the amazing content in the forums here, i decided i would post up some of my old poems that i wrote about a year and a half ago. I used to go by the name of 'WritersForrest' way back during this period and as such, you can also find these poems on my old HubPages account and Scribd accounts.

Anyway, here is the first one for you guys - it's a tragic romance piece entitled 'Someone Like Me'.

Someone Like Me
It began with just friendly and idle chatter, on a cold winter’s night,
And before i knew it, i was in love,
In love with someone like me.

Winter’s chill gave way to spring’s beauty,
The beginning of our beautiful relationship blossoming,
A relationship with someone like me.

Summer come around, and with it the beach, the surf and the tans,
Hot, passionate nights in the bedroom together,
In the bedroom with someone like me.

Then Autumn’s dark face, she descended upon the land,
Under the falling tree leaves, you left me, a shattered man,
A broken soul who had lost someone like me.

I'm always interested in constructive criticism so please feel free to give me some advice on how i can improve my writing and such. I'll likely post some more of my old stuff in the coming days, but i would also like to try writing some new stuff soon as well and advice helps in ironing out any major flaws in my writing. Thank you for reading

[The_Dream_Recluse]

Here is another one of my old poems for you guys to read - it's titled 'Promises' and i wrote it last year when things were a little dark and rough at home.

Promises
I keep thinking back to that time,
A time when the world was a happier place,
When you made a promise to me,
You said – ‘Son, i love you with all my heart.
I will never harm you nor leave you.’

I look back on that promise now, and all i see is lies.
You said you would never harm me,
But why is my face bruised and scarred from a childhood of beatings?
If you say you love me,
Then why did you destroy my happiness?

If you truly cared for me,
Why do i feel so abandoned?
If you truly wished for my happiness,
Why am i living in self-loathing?

I keep thinking back to that time,
A time when the world was a happier place,
When you made that promise to me,
And all i see now....

Is lies.

[Oneesan]

I don't really have any criticisms for you. I thought they were wonderful, and you should continue posting whenever one comes to you. Good job!

[The_Dream_Recluse]

Aww, thank you kindly

One thing i would like to work on is trying to make the lines rhyme. Just need to expand my vocabulary a bit xD

[Oneesan]

Rhyming isn't as important as the message that is trying to be put across. Some of my favorite works didn't rhyme, and they were no less amazing for it either. You shouldn't hold back because of something like that, but instead just keep writing as it comes to you. The poems are really good.

[The_Dream_Recluse]

Naww, thank you kindly

It's always good to be reassured of these things. Well at least my message is being conveyed appropriately xD