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Thread: Lyrics - Reviews

  1. #1
    Balaclavas on...let's go shopping!! Lyrics - Reviews nickness89's Avatar
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    Lyrics - Reviews

    Ok, so as a few of you know, I now have a contract from a Record Company to write lyrics and music. Before I send off lyrics, I'd like to have pre-reviews, just to see the overall reaction to them. My lyrics aren't of the usual persuasion, such as writing about ''hanging with my homies'' or ''going out to a club, getting drunk and being propositioned by a ho''

    I have posted a song lyric previously, on the Music forum, called Blue Fairy, I'm on my phone so can't copy the link then troll through to here and paste it, but please try and have a look at that song first, and review it here.

    Here's the first song to be criticised, it's called Ghost (past coming back to haunt).

    Ghost:

    I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, but now I'm back
    I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, but now I'm back.

    I died a long time ago
    My feelings hung on rope
    I still remember the Ghost.
    The person I am right now
    Don't seem to reflect, no
    I have a fear of the Ghost.

    To reminisce the deadly personality I used to be
    It's scary and it's dangerous and threatens everything I claim to be.

    I died a long long time ago
    But now the feelings come and go
    My head is ready to explode.
    I feel the old me coming back
    Oh boy, cut me a little slack
    There it is my fear, my past, my Ghost.

    I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, but now I'm back
    I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, but now I'm back.

    I've come to reclaim my glory,
    What's done is done, bloody and gory
    Come along open your arms to Ghost.
    The new you is beckoning
    Merge with me becoming
    You are your own life and Ghost.

    To reminisce the deadly personality I used to be
    Its scary and its dangerous and threatens everything I claim to be.

    I died a long long time ago
    But now the feelings come and go
    My head is ready to explode
    I feel the old me coming back
    Oh boy, cut me a little slack
    There it is my fear, my past, my Ghost.

    I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, but now I'm back <--- x6
    Favourite Lyric For Now:

    "Don't be insecure if your heart is pure,
    You're still good to me if you're a Bad Kid, baby."

    Lady Gaga




    MY LOVING TFF FAMILY

    TFF WIFEY - angelmarie190515
    MY FF TWIN - Firefly

    TFF STEP-HUSBAND-IN LAW - Gilgamesh~Enkidu

    BESTEST FRIEND - Judge Magistrate
    IRISHMAN IN THE PUB JOKES - seanb
    CANADIAN FRIEND - R.Kyra
    FELLOW SCOTSMAN - Aerif
    AUSSIENESS - NikkiLinkle

  2. #2
    Registered User Lyrics - Reviews Alex's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Awesome Lyrics!
    What Genre is it?

    "To reminisce the deadly personality I used to be
    Its scary and its dangerous and threatens everything I claim to be"
    - Favorite, it's very smart.

  3. #3
    Balaclavas on...let's go shopping!! Lyrics - Reviews nickness89's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Quote Originally Posted by Alex
    Awesome Lyrics!
    What Genre is it?

    "To reminisce the deadly personality I used to be
    Its scary and its dangerous and threatens everything I claim to be"
    - Favorite, it's very smart.
    It's Electro Pop, or supposed to be, definitely not bubblegum pop, more like today's evolved version of pop

    Okay, here's one I wrote the other day, when I first started my water fast (I will update my diary on here of the fast soon, right now my head is swirling and I feel like sh*t).

    This one is called Twisted Hearts, it's just a fun song. If you don't want to know the details of someone's libido, then look away now On the first day of my water fast, I decided that I would try and become a bit more creative. By the second day, I felt fine. On day three, I felt like I was in a daze, and I felt very aroused. I don't think "aroused" is a good word to use, but my libido went sky high that day, hence why I wrote this song the way I did. Forgive my evil ways

    Twisted Hearts:

    All i wanna do is have you in my grasp,
    Ain't got no education baby,
    Lived life on Grass,
    I don't need no funky music keepin' me up on the pole,
    Just want some entanglement served up cold,

    Get your ass in my bed,
    Get roses and some liquor baby,
    Get wound up and roar,
    Give me one chance and I'll make it worth the Rock and Roll,
    All i want is something Heartless to reach my g-g-g-g-go-go-goal,

    My mind is open ready to go so let your juices start to flow,
    We can dance if you want,
    Get it all out ready to flaunt,
    The pleasure of these Twisted Hearts,
    The dirty, rich Twisted Hearts,
    The Twisted Hearts,

    If you feel you need to scream then baby hold on tight,
    All I seek is Bedroom Fame,
    So shake that ass,
    I don't need nobody tellin' me that I'm all sold,
    Just want the Love and Jazz from you oh-oh-oohhh,

    Get your ass in my bed,
    Get roses and some liquor baby,
    Get wound up and roar,
    Give me one chance and I'll make it worth the Rock and Roll,
    All i want is something Heartless to reach my g-g-g-g-go-go-goal,

    My mind is open ready to go so let your juices start to flow,
    We can dance if you want,
    Get it all out ready to flaunt,
    The pleasure of these Twisted Hearts,
    The dirty, rich Twisted Hearts,
    The Twisted Hearts,

    And if those Twisted Hearts don't boom your beat,
    Then give a little shimmy baby on those sweet movin' feet,
    I'll do my make-up have a drink,
    Maybe two or three but then I'll pounce and make you think,

    That you should get your ass in my bed,
    Get roses and some liquor baby,
    Get wound up and roar,
    Give me one chance and I'll make it worth the Rock and Roll,
    All i want is something Heartless to reach my g-g-g-g-go-go-goal,

    My mind is open ready to go so let your juices start to flow,
    We can dance if you want,
    Get it all out ready to flaunt,
    The pleasure of these Twisted Hearts,
    The dirty, rich Twisted Hearts,
    The Twisted Hearts.

    And there we have it As i said, forgive my obvious deviousness in the lyrics
    Last edited by nickness89; 08-26-2011 at 09:22 AM.
    Favourite Lyric For Now:

    "Don't be insecure if your heart is pure,
    You're still good to me if you're a Bad Kid, baby."

    Lady Gaga




    MY LOVING TFF FAMILY

    TFF WIFEY - angelmarie190515
    MY FF TWIN - Firefly

    TFF STEP-HUSBAND-IN LAW - Gilgamesh~Enkidu

    BESTEST FRIEND - Judge Magistrate
    IRISHMAN IN THE PUB JOKES - seanb
    CANADIAN FRIEND - R.Kyra
    FELLOW SCOTSMAN - Aerif
    AUSSIENESS - NikkiLinkle

  4. #4
    Registered User Lyrics - Reviews Alex's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Wow, this is some serious talent!
    When I read it, I think of Lady Gaga, it's my absolute number one inspiration!
    Keep on writing lyrics, and one day you might hear them in the radio

  5. #5
    Balaclavas on...let's go shopping!! Lyrics - Reviews nickness89's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Haha

    Thanks I doubt i'm anywhere near the league of Gaga, although I was tweeted by a producer guy saying my Blue Fairy was haunting, like a cross between Gaga and Evanescence ... *blushes*
    Favourite Lyric For Now:

    "Don't be insecure if your heart is pure,
    You're still good to me if you're a Bad Kid, baby."

    Lady Gaga




    MY LOVING TFF FAMILY

    TFF WIFEY - angelmarie190515
    MY FF TWIN - Firefly

    TFF STEP-HUSBAND-IN LAW - Gilgamesh~Enkidu

    BESTEST FRIEND - Judge Magistrate
    IRISHMAN IN THE PUB JOKES - seanb
    CANADIAN FRIEND - R.Kyra
    FELLOW SCOTSMAN - Aerif
    AUSSIENESS - NikkiLinkle

  6. #6
    Registered User Lyrics - Reviews Oneesan's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Sorry it took me so long to read these, but they are awesome!! Great job!!! Definitely don't ever stop writing. You have an amazing talent for it.

  7. #7
    Balaclavas on...let's go shopping!! Lyrics - Reviews nickness89's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Quote Originally Posted by angelmarie190515 View Post
    Sorry it took me so long to read these, but they are awesome!! Great job!!! Definitely don't ever stop writing. You have an amazing talent for it.
    Thank you chick

    I really have to get on here more and put more up. I've been preoccupied with health problems, mainly mental health issues I'll post another lyric later today
    Favourite Lyric For Now:

    "Don't be insecure if your heart is pure,
    You're still good to me if you're a Bad Kid, baby."

    Lady Gaga




    MY LOVING TFF FAMILY

    TFF WIFEY - angelmarie190515
    MY FF TWIN - Firefly

    TFF STEP-HUSBAND-IN LAW - Gilgamesh~Enkidu

    BESTEST FRIEND - Judge Magistrate
    IRISHMAN IN THE PUB JOKES - seanb
    CANADIAN FRIEND - R.Kyra
    FELLOW SCOTSMAN - Aerif
    AUSSIENESS - NikkiLinkle

  8. #8
    Balaclavas on...let's go shopping!! Lyrics - Reviews nickness89's Avatar
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    Re: Lyrics - Reviews

    Think of it as a druggie's desperation

    Junk:


    Psycho, sick, crazy, chick
    Psycho, sick, crazy, chick

    Down the alleyway, street-corner, anywhere you want,
    I'll take the good stuff and the bad stuff, anything you flaunt,
    I'm a freak and want to meet, with a ripper of sorts,
    Just give it to me, any price, make me contort.

    Psycho, sick, crazy, chick
    Psycho, sick, crazy, chick

    I want that junk, give me that junk, force me some junk,
    I know it's bad, but baby I'm glad to funk, for that junk,
    For that junk, junk, junk, junk, junk.
    I want that junk, give me that junk, force me some junk,
    I know it's rude, dammit it's crude to funk, for that junk,
    For that junk, junk, junk, junk, junk.

    I'll do anything, anywhere, God this is wrong,
    Baby I know, and you know, that it's worth a song,
    I'm a geek, love my math, so count me up rainbow dust,
    I'll shed tears, I'll give blood, just conjure me some lust.

    Psycho, sick, crazy, chick
    Psycho, sick, crazy, chick

    I want that junk, give me that junk, force me some junk,
    I know it's bad, but baby I'm glad to funk, for that junk,
    For that junk, junk, junk, junk, junk.
    I want that junk, give me that junk, force me some junk,
    I know it's rude, dammit it's crude to funk, for that junk,
    For that junk, junk, junk, junk, junk.


    not my best, but as you can probably tell from my recent ''come-back'' posts (I haven't been on in months) I'm feeling pretty ****ed up lately, and this song pretty much sums up my brain right now.
    Favourite Lyric For Now:

    "Don't be insecure if your heart is pure,
    You're still good to me if you're a Bad Kid, baby."

    Lady Gaga




    MY LOVING TFF FAMILY

    TFF WIFEY - angelmarie190515
    MY FF TWIN - Firefly

    TFF STEP-HUSBAND-IN LAW - Gilgamesh~Enkidu

    BESTEST FRIEND - Judge Magistrate
    IRISHMAN IN THE PUB JOKES - seanb
    CANADIAN FRIEND - R.Kyra
    FELLOW SCOTSMAN - Aerif
    AUSSIENESS - NikkiLinkle

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