Hello again, my fellow fans! Zidane is once again back to give some great advice to everyone, so get those letters in!

Hey Zidane....

I was just curious, do you know of any type of cream I can use to get rid of facial scars? I have only one but it makes me feel like people are looking at me weird all of the time. I want it gone. Any help would be grateful.

- Squall

Hello Squall! Contrary to popular belief, the scar isn't the reason that people tend to give you the funny looks; the main reason that you get stares from others is because of you not following the dresscode for Balamb Garden as much as you should be! That's pretty shameful, especially coming from a SeeD captain! Anyways, I heard good things about applying a Tonic solution to your scar, that tends to clean things up pretty well. The Maiden's Kiss seems to work as well, just use in moderation because I've heard stories about getting some nasty warts in place of scars!


Zidane, bro!

I read your column last month and got some great ideas for a new arm, how affective do you think a giant can opener would be? Or how about a spatula? If need be could either of these two items be useful in hand to hand combat and cooking?

Barret

Welcome back Barret! Both of those gun-arm replacements sound like a step in the right direction if you ask me. Cans always need to be opened, and pancakes always need to be flipped, and I think with either of these two choices, you will be right on the path to getting that Culinary degree in no time! Make sure to unequip your arm before hitting the showers though, you wouldn't want to get your tools all rusty.

Hello Zidane,

I was wanting to know if you know if there was any way I could change my name to something more ferocious like the "Lion Knight" or "Captain Kills Alot". I am tired of people relating me to bad breath caused by a bitter vegetable.

Your friend,
Onion Knight

Hello Onion Knight, sounds like you are in a tough place here. I remember those early teen years, how awkward the whole puberty situation was. But to answer your question, if you want to become respected, you gotta change! That's right, you gotta class change! You see, Onion Knights are only something that one starts out as; in order for you to get that name changed, you need to grow up and change into a fearsome class. What about "Fighter", or "Black Mage?" Try giving one of those two a shot; they always seem to get the respect they deserve.

Thanks for the letters everyone! Keep sending them in and I will see you all next month!