Ask Zidane

Welcome again everyone, it is I, Zidane, and somehow I didn't get canned from last month, so all is going well and I am back to answer some more of your questions! If some of you ever need some questions answered, please feel free to send them to Rocky, my editor, and if he doesn't "accidently" burn them with his Firaga staff, I can publish them here as well! Now then, let's begin…


Zidane,

I recently bought a hellhound from a local pet shop, he is the greatest hound a man can ask for. But there is a problem when he goes to the rest room he poses the threat of starting a brush fire, he has already almost burned my hut down 3 different times! So my question is, how can I prevent this from happening again?

- Hellhound lover

Well Hellhound lover, you have definitely picked a creature with a face and pyromaniac tendencies that only a mother could love! My first suggestion is to invest in a Flametongue sword. This allows you to beat some sense into the Hellhound whenever the creature misbehaves, and realize that Hellhounds are very stubborn creatures, so discipline is essential to raising a Hellhound properly. My next recommendation is keep your bathroom buffed up with Shell as much as possible. This should at least buy you enough time for the fire department to get to your hut, if not rid the problem altogether. Best wishes Hellhound lover!

Big Z,

Every time I take a bath my gun arm tends to rust, I have had to replace it at least 5 times by now and it is really upsetting. What do you recommend that I do?

-Barret

Dear Barret, isn't it about time that you put that gun arm away in the storage for good? You have a family to go home to, and you can't be going running around with your schizophrenic party leader killing some crazy madmen all the time! I think it would be better if you put the gun arm away for something more practical, like maybe a prosthetic arm or something similar to that nature. Besides, it appears that you are in excellent physical shape, why do you need a gun to do damage for? Makes no sense to me, oh well...


Zidane,

I am curious as to why you never decided to join the Thief’s Union? We have a dental plan.

- Locke, founder of the local 001

Locke, I am curious as to why you don't call it a "Treasure Hunter's Union" instead? Remember that one merchant that pissed you off way back in South Figaro and you stole his clothes and wore them around the whole day? Great times! Anyway, I like to work independently, a la Magnum P.I. Style, as it allows me to have a flexible schedule, and I don't have to answer to anyone higher up in the clan. I'm sure the dental plan is great, but I like forging my own destiny so to speak.

Thanks for the questions everyone, and I will see you next month! -Zidane