Silver's Guide to Writing for Fun (And Quite Possibly Just Out of Boredom)

[Furore]

Because I was bored and Govinda's thread inspired me to start writing something that could be a parody, a humorful piece (likely not), something useful (also likely not), and/or just another hardly read topic in a sea full of the damn things.

Section the First, Basics

- Beware Grammar Nazis

This is highly important as at times grammar can actually make something sound crappier than if you conveniantly forget it. Just read what you write back and add commas where you think there should be a brief pause, and full stops where you'd imagine a sentence would end. Never change something simply because someone says, 'THAT'S BAD GRAMMER, BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!'. Please note my own bad grammar in the sentence before this one. Or improper grammar really. I'm sure you get the point. Didn't sound too bad, did it? Note that too many brief sentences in a row can sound pretty bad when read back. I certainly did just notice it myself. Example stays.

- 1337 is only good for games where typing can get you killed

While some is funny, and whole posts aren't too bad, it can get damned annoying when you follow some offshoot dialect of 1337 where even you need to pause to translate your own words. I never really understood the heavy use of it outside of those games as when you can concentrate solely on what you're writing without worry of getting frag ****ed, it's quite easy to type up a monolithic post in next to no real time.

- Correct usage of the Colon (and words with multiple meanings in general)

Everyone knows the colon is in fact the last part of the digestive system in most if not all vertebrates. Oh yeah, it's also a grammatical instrument looking something like this ':'. But then with proper explanation or just the usage of it in a sentence, it should be plainly obvious. This however is not always the case, as some do indeed insist on writing one line sentences which do not always convey the intended message well enough.

- Shutting the **** up

While pointing out simple mistakes can seem an ideal form of revenge, it's really only funny when the person you're replying to has been a real cockhead. Failing that, it's often the writer of a post full of these who can be seen as an arsehole. It's not cool to do something like this as almost everybody makes mistakes. Not everyone can be assed to have a word processor with spellcheck functions open at all times, just as word processor fixed posts can have new errors added due to ****ups in the way the word processor's spell check/auto correct functions are designed. If I had a nickel for every small mistake I'd ever made in a post, I'd melt them down into a huge mace and start smashing myself in the face for having to read posts full of nit picking.

Section the Second, Comments

Feel free to make suggestions, comment on this work or even just hurl poorly masked abuse that still falls within the lines that the moderating team will allow. ENJOY!

[DragonHeart]

I found it amusing, even though I saw the colon joke coming before I even clicked the thread. XD It's also a nice reminder that we shouldn't all be so serious about this stuff all the time. I mean really, it's the internet.

And yes, I know I tend to get carried away because my goal is professional-level writing. I sometimes forget that not everyone has the same intentions. (Being a member of a writing forum doesn't help much either.)

Thanks for the poke.

~DragonHeart~

[Furore]

While I wasn't sure which way I'd take it when I started, I was going for amusing.
Glad you found it so, and hopefully some others will too.

That said, it does contain some sound messages.