Book I'm Working on...

[GHOSTED]

Been a while So I've decided to start up with the new book I'm working on...It's a physiological horror that most people tend to compare to the Silent Hill Games...It's based off a short story I wrote involving events that take place After the Book it's self. Feel free to share comments and opinions... Please note that I have not yet finished Editing or spell checking anything and It is still a work in progress, Thank you.

Adam opened his eyes and took a few looks around. The taste of blood in his mouth...the smell of wet snow...the sounds of nothingness. He was laying in the street about 4 feet from a parked car with the back door opened. “ where am I...” he though to him self. He looked for signs and noticed a sign with the words “ Rose Field” carved into it. Memories flooded his body.
A child standing in a bathroom looking into the mirror as a figure appears behind him. A faceless figure. It approached as a voice breaks into the memory “ Mommy loves you dear...” Soon The child stood in front of a grave marked with only the letters A.J.C.
Adam got up from the snow covered street and wiped the blood from his nose. He approached the sign and looked over it once more noticing scratches and what appeared to be a name and dates carved under the word “ Field”. The name “ Lucy Shadows 1997-2009“ The name seemed so familiar as if he had seen it a thousand times before. Lucy Shadows...he could’t figure it out.
He looked around. The car still in the same spot. It seemed as if it was parked recently, within the hour. Snow gently fell from the cloudless sky above. He was surrounded mostly by trees, and a few houses, but he could make out the main area of town a few steps down the road. He’s best bet was to go into the town and look for help. Maybe his memory would return...maybe he’d find answers.
He walked down the road taking looks at the area around him. He swore he saw figures watching him from the snowy mist. He could hear a dog barking in the distance along with the sound of soft, very soft, foot steps in the snow. “ Hello?” Adam called. His voice echoed as if through time and space.
He finally reached the town. Store doors and windows were boarded off as if they have been closed for years. Cars with rusted bumpers sat alone in the street. Street signs sat frozen in time and traffic lights swayed He began to see red as if blood filled his eyes...
Everything was clear...but the town had almost changed shape...or time. It appeared to be summer time...cars roamed through the town along with a few people. A man, dressed as a doctor, walked up to him, and then into a building to his left. “ Now son...be careful okay?” The blood red came over him again...the sound of breaking glass ripped through his skull.
Everything was cold and dead again. He looked to the the left...there stood the building as if new. “ Dr. Adam Caper.” was hung above the door. He stepped up to the front door and tried to look in through a small crack in the wood. All he could see was darkness, the out line of a desk, some flowers, and what looked like mice moving around on the floor. He could see a light flick on in a room in the far back down a long hallway with water dripping from above. He saw a shadow moving around the room.
He stepped down and looked for a way to get to the back of the Office. He walked up the street and made a left. He looked around for some sort of back ally. It was hard for him to make out shapes with the snow beginning to get heavier. He walked along the side walk looking for an ally or some type of door. He felt a steel fence and looked around for either a way in or around or a hole. He suddenly noticed a figure at about 9 feet tall standing on the other side of the fence eyeing him down with a vicious gaze. The figure took a step closer gripping the fence with it’s massive hands. Blood drenched fingers tugged on the fence.
Adam fell back and crawled away as the Figure tried to push it’s way through the fence. It knocked the fence down smashing on Adam knocking him out for a few minutes. He could hear light foot steps coming out of the shadows of the dark corners of the empty town.
He woke up leaned against the wall of the ally. The fence stood straight up as if it was never knocked down. No drag marks in the snow showed signs of Adam being moved. He could see the door to the Office and slowly got up and made his way to it.
He opened the door and took a step into the Doctors office. It appeared to be a back room of some type with boxes that contained different labeled folders. “ Hello? Anyone here?” Adam asked in a low volume voice as if not to wake the ghost of the past. It was some what obvious no one had used the room for some time.

[DragonHeart]

It's very difficult to read as is. Try putting a blank line between every paragraph, otherwise it's a giant wall of nearly unreadable text.

Also, do you mean psychological horror?

Adam opened his eyes and took a few looks around. The taste of blood in his mouth...the smell of wet snow...the sounds of nothingness. He was laying in the street about 4 feet from a parked car with the back door opened. “ where am I...” he though to him self. He looked for signs and noticed a sign with the words “ Rose Field” carved into it. Memories flooded his body.

A child standing in a bathroom looking into the mirror as a figure appears behind him. A faceless figure. It approached as a voice breaks into the memory

“ Mommy loves you dear...” Soon The child stood in front of a grave marked with only the letters A.J.C.

Adam got up from the snow covered street and wiped the blood from his nose. He approached the sign and looked over it once more noticing scratches and what appeared to be a name and dates carved under the word “ Field”. The name “ Lucy Shadows 1997-2009“ The name seemed so familiar as if he had seen it a thousand times before. Lucy Shadows...he could’t figure it out.

He looked around. The car still in the same spot. It seemed as if it was parked recently, within the hour. Snow gently fell from the cloudless sky above. He was surrounded mostly by trees, and a few houses, but he could make out the main area of town a few steps down the road. He’s best bet was to go into the town and look for help. Maybe his memory would return...maybe he’d find answers.

He walked down the road taking looks at the area around him. He swore he saw figures watching him from the snowy mist. He could hear a dog barking in the distance along with the sound of soft, very soft, foot steps in the snow.

“ Hello?” Adam called. His voice echoed as if through time and space.

He finally reached the town. Store doors and windows were boarded off as if they have been closed for years. Cars with rusted bumpers sat alone in the street. Street signs sat frozen in time and traffic lights swayed He began to see red as if blood filled his eyes...

Everything was clear...but the town had almost changed shape...or time. It appeared to be summer time...cars roamed through the town along with a few people. A man, dressed as a doctor, walked up to him, and then into a building to his left.

“ Now son...be careful okay?” The blood red came over him again...the sound of breaking glass ripped through his skull.

Everything was cold and dead again. He looked to the the left...there stood the building as if new. “ Dr. Adam Caper.” was hung above the door. He stepped up to the front door and tried to look in through a small crack in the wood. All he could see was darkness, the out line of a desk, some flowers, and what looked like mice moving around on the floor. He could see a light flick on in a room in the far back down a long hallway with water dripping from above. He saw a shadow moving around the room.

He stepped down and looked for a way to get to the back of the Office. He walked up the street and made a left. He looked around for some sort of back ally. It was hard for him to make out shapes with the snow beginning to get heavier. He walked along the side walk looking for an ally or some type of door. He felt a steel fence and looked around for either a way in or around or a hole. He suddenly noticed a figure at about 9 feet tall standing on the other side of the fence eyeing him down with a vicious gaze. The figure took a step closer gripping the fence with it’s massive hands. Blood drenched fingers tugged on the fence.

Adam fell back and crawled away as the Figure tried to push it’s way through the fence. It knocked the fence down smashing on Adam knocking him out for a few minutes. He could hear light foot steps coming out of the shadows of the dark corners of the empty town.

He woke up leaned against the wall of the ally. The fence stood straight up as if it was never knocked down. No drag marks in the snow showed signs of Adam being moved. He could see the door to the Office and slowly got up and made his way to it.

He opened the door and took a step into the Doctors office. It appeared to be a back room of some type with boxes that contained different labeled folders.

“ Hello? Anyone here?” Adam asked in a low volume voice as if not to wake the ghost of the past. It was some what obvious no one had used the room for some time.

Since you said you haven't done any editing I won't comment on that other than every time someone begins speaking you need to start a new paragraph. Thoughts should be italicized or otherwise noted, but not written as dialogue. Sign names don't need to be in quotations, either.

As for the story itself, I find it to be very confusing. I have no idea what the plot is and while having your MC wander around town is surreal, it's also pretty boring. Either increase the tension and raise the stakes or get to the action faster. What works for video games does not work in the same way for written stories.

Overall it's a good start, you just need to tighten it up and get a really good handle on your story.

~DragonHeart~

[GHOSTED]

I haven't gotten to the point where a " story " begins to unfold, but right where I left off in the post is a little before the action part comes into play. He doesn't end up wondering around the town, the story has very little to do with the town, mainly events that occurred in the past. Which is what the book feeds off, memories. Thank you for sharing your opinion, hopefully I'll have more added. And thanks for the Spacing tip.