As you all know, TFF is facing some tough times. We have war abroad, a posting recession, high load times, unreasonable gil exchange rates. Frankly, the list is too long. We need someone to lead us through the dark times. Someone who has the courage and experience to lead. That person is Pete.

1. Pete was a P.O.W. of inactivity for almost five years. In that time, his arms and legs were broken, and he began to lose some of his hair. However, his spirit persevered and he was able to escape and rejoin us.

2. He has experience. Not since Grover Cleveland has a challenger been able to say he has had the job before. We don't need another mod that needs on-the-job training.

3. Pete was instrumental in writing the Pete-SOLDIER 819 Moderator Reform Bill of 2003, which led to new jobs for TFFers and prosperity all around. This is one of many positions Pete has taken as a real maverick. He has stood up to the bigwigs in the Highbridge when it could have hurt his political career.

4. Pete steals from the rich and gives to the poor. He is famous for taking funds from the TFF treasury and distributing newfound wealth to the poor. The people loved him, but the coastal elite criticized him and forced his resignation. People still remember his courage in helping the poor, though.

5. Pete's suntan is an average of three shades darker than the other candidates. We need a moderator who can handle the heat!

Some of Pete's stances on the tough issues of the day:

1. Reduce gas to 1 dollar a gallon while reducing our independence on foreign oil.
2. Cutting out the lobbyists that infest the upper sectors of TFF's ruling class.
3. Supporting proper grammar education for all ages, so all posts will be legible.
4. Instituting sweeping moderator reform. Pete will throw the bums out.
5. He will restore TFF to the glory days of 2002-2003, when impressionable girls would post pictures of their asses for men that they don't know and when posting was abundant.

The choice is clear.