See, I don't have this problem, because I don't shave. Only losers shave their facial hair. What I do is I concentrate real hard, which can take anywhere from 12 hours to three and half months, and my hair retracts into my face.

Yes, this seems kind of weird, but doing so will add 29 seconds to your life, and there's a lot you can do with 29 seconds. Especially when you're 82. It took me 29 seconds to stand up from a seated position. Now that's impressive.

Anyway, that's my two cents. Shaving is for pussies. Making your hair retract back into your body is for real men. And anybody who disagrees deserves a little taste of the red right hand of Eastwood.