Tele gets to ogle burmecian dancers, and I get...Quina's long tongue? FF IX has really shitty fanservice for the ladies...

I'd live in Ivalice, in Bhujerba probably. Just hang out drinking Bhujerban Madhu all day while confusing visitors from the below world with my goofy dialect ("Svagatam travelers!") and have my children be taken by the Child Snatcher. BLISS!