Do you do it?
Obviously

Have you done it?
If I could have a dollar for every time I have, I could probably afford a decent car.

Are you doing it now?
Nope.

How often?
Pretty much daily, sometimes several times a day (I've gone from regular sex back in july to none at all for the foreseeable future, so....yeah)

And most importantly have you ever been embarrassingly caught in the act of self pleasure?
Never been caught, but there have been a few near-catchings where my keen sense of hearing someone walking down the hall, etc tipped me off.