Breaking the ice when meeting new people

[Meier Link]

Inspiration has hit once again! Thanks to my other thread I thought of this simplistic one.

Generally when I meet someone I tend to ask a lot of questions to figure out who they are, where they come from, and unintentionally break down their responses to find out who they actually are.

Most of the time I start the conversation with a compliment (mainly when speaking with the opposite sex) and will ask a question afterwards. As per the norm, the questions are light hearted and after I get a feel for how people will respond I will throw out a goofy question (if they seem like they can handle one).

My most famous one to actually break that awkward tension that is generally there when meeting someone new is "whats the first thing you think of when you hear the word moist?" Generally people get that snarky perverted smile and rattle of something random like "cake" or "muffins" with a goofy giggle. After that conversations usually lighten up and that tension seems to disappear.

So that is one of the methods I use when meeting new people. Given each instance is different but that one seems to be the most common for me.

So I am curious as to how you break that line to get people to open up?

Also if you are like me and like to ask questions, what kind of questions do you normally use?

Discuss.

[Unknown Entity]

I'm usually the shy person who waits for someone to talk to me. I don't like asking too many questions either in case I end up talking too much about me or make them feel like they're hogging the conversation. I try to initiate a conversation by asking a few questions, and then the rest flows from there if they share any common interests. Sometimes I'll meet someone with different interests, and sometimes I have more fun listening to them.

Without common interests, I think conversations just get really boring and awkward. It's not anyone's fault, but it is boring.

[Josh_R]

I am a pretty outgoing person, so when I meet someone new I jump right in. I throw myself into their convo, or what have you. I tend to ask a lot of questions about them in order to get a feel for what kind of person that they are.

[ultimatekupo]

Usually conversation is natural and without tension for me, I am a good listener and I know how to get people to talk in person with my responses. If and when there is awkward ice I sadly run away lol.

[GypsyElder]

I like talking to new people, I never really thought about how I break them in though. Laughter is key so If the person I'm talking to can easily laugh then there's really no issue. I don't mind being the conversation starter, so I'll generally ask questions revolving around where we are and what we were doing before the conversation started. So If I'm at a coffee shop it might be something like "what kind of drink did you order?...have you tried (...)? etc.

The only time I think, when first conversations are awkward are when the person you're talking to doesn't cooperate. Not necessarily that the person doesn't seem interested but when I'm the one who ends up asking all the questions, because then it feels like an interrogation and if I stop asking the conversion dies until the other person decides to speak again. It ends up feeling forced.

Other than that though I don't have too many problems.

Also, guys be careful when dishing out compliments to girls. Even if it's one compliment you have to be careful with what you're complimenting. If it's something simple like "I like your shirt" then it's alright (ps don't stare at her boobs when you say that ) but if you're not careful it can come off extremely creepy especially if you do it too much.

[sayian]

IM TERRIBLE....when i was like 19 this woman told me that her lil sis saw me, thought i was cute, and wanted to talk to me...k so few weeks later i finally met her and omg she was so beautiful i choked and had absolutely NOTHING to say(i mumbled something though).. it was so painful. behind her was my brother and i glanced at him and he had this look on his face like.. damn dude u f***** up. lol i have nevr ever been any good with breaking the ice with the ladies... way too shy

[LocoColt04]

If it's something simple like "I like your shirt" then it's alright (ps don't stare at her boobs when you say that )

Otherwise, it comes off as "I like your breasts, will you please remove this article of clothing which is blocking my view?"

TRUE STORY.

As for breaking the ice... I'm a bit of a natural. I don't really try to cater toward any specific type of person based on how I think they might react. I just throw myself out there and see what happens. I work in retail, so I'm out meeting new people on a daily basis. Some might say "oh, Cesar, but that's your job, so that's different!" Well guess what! It really isn't. Apply the same type of tactics to an everyday conversation and you'll see what I mean. At work, I am selling products; outside of work, I am selling myself. (har har)

omg she was so beautiful i choked and had absolutely NOTHING to say(i mumbled something though).. it was so painful.

Approach women the same way you'd approach a guy that you've never met. Be casual. I'm not saying OH MY GOD RELAX because I know it's not that simple, but if you go a little outside of your comfort zone and think "hey, this is just another person," it's a lot easier to move forward from there. Just don't stick with the casual conversation routine for too long or she might think you're not interested.

[SuperSabin]

Funny how this thread appears after i've met new people. I'm kinda shy with meeting new people sometimes, its really easy for me to meet people if they are friends of a friend, like this one night, my friends and i were meeting up with their friends and i got to know them a little bit. I also met a friend from online gaming (White Knight Chronicles to be exact) and I've talked to her alot.

So the way I open up, if i'm ever comfortable enough to do so, is to start with: "Hey, how are you?" and then i'd introduce myself and ask their name. After that, i pretty much become friends with that person.

[RagnaToad]

When I'm in a situation where I kind of have to talk to someone I don't really know that well, I try to find some common interest to talk about.

I know something about most popular subjects, even when they're not one of my main interests. So that's convenient for these things.

And yeah, I ask stuff about them too to get the conversation going. Like what they're studying, and usually I'll ask something about what kind of music they like, because I just like talking about music.

[Clint]

Sigmund Freud seemed to believe that whenever anybody meets anyone else, all that small talk about the weather or "getting to know you better by asking questions," is a subtle way of telling the opposite party that all you really want to do is ****.

If I'm talking to somebody for the first time that I don't know, I'm usually pretty subtle with the sexual undertones. I'll say something alone the lines of "we should bang."

I might say that if I'm talking to a woman, too.

[Cheesevixen]

I don't have lines or a specific thing I do. Im actually interested in what people have to say, and I only feel the need to be around people that accept me as I am. So I don't put up fronts or goofy saying. I talk. Sometimes Ill compliment them if they are wearing something cool or have pretty hair, most importantly I always start by asking their name. If they wanna talk it comes natural. The people I most likely will get along with are the ones whom are laid back and down to earth. Mostly young rockers and old funny guys with time on their hands. Guess u can say I get along with the guys better. I have few girlfriends. Men who try to be too cute or intelligent to the point where it gets annoying and showy are off my charts. If you wanna impress me and be friends calm down and just be cool.

[HUNK]

Heh, I phail when it comes to talking to new people. Usually I don't start too many conversations, unless I see someone carrying a shonen jump or somthing that I like. Otherwise I start to talk way too much and then the other person has nothing to say and there's just a terriblely awqward silence......SEE!

I guess talking about music is easiest for me, but it doesn't really get excited unless the people have really wierd tastes in music, then it's just soooo much more interesting.

[sayian]

@lococolt04. ur pretty good, thanx man. however, idk what my problem was then, but i was that type who knew all of this and gave this type of advice(like urs) to other friends but when it came to me, i couldnt walk that walk for some reason.. im str8 now tho(via the process of trial and error) of course..

[Pete]

Cesar nailed it on the head. You have to just look at other people as just that... people. Just approach others like you'd approach anyone else, regardless of who they are or what they look like. If it's a super hot girl, just talk to her like she's any other person... because she is. She might just be super hot. The trick in breaking the ice with anyone is to not be a **** and to not say anything that is incendiary or hypocritical. After that, it's pretty simple. Talk, and if the convo moves forward, just keep the flow going. The worst that can really happen is someone shooting you down, and at which point, you just move on. The other trick is to never "fall in love" with someone you've never talked to or met. You're just setting yourself up for a lot of hurt.

I don't really have a plan or a means of analyzing people when I first meet them. I just go with my gut, and the general vibes I get from what they say. I usually let them do most of the talking, but I have no problem carrying a conversation.

[Leon]

I tend to do the exact opposite when I meet people. Especially pretty ladies, or ladies in general, really. I'm like Peter Griffin, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. People do that every now and then, but I do it more often than I should (unintentionally, of course).

Dudes are awesome, because some don't give a rat's tail on how you do.

[Furore]

I mainly meet people at parties and pubs these days.
It's become a matter of asking what their drink is, tossing them one from the fridge or buying them one depending on venue and then making small talk - the alcohol further helps people chill together too.

Or I can just ask if they wanna play pool or something, that works decent too.