Why do I keep on getting cast as old people?! *Grumble grumble* In my day... Anyhoo, Dodie told me I needed to do a There Will Be Brawl cast, or that she'd shoot me with her internet gun. Not a game, but based one, here we go...

First off, the main character, Luigi. A good man down on hard times, forced to do things that were once below him. ...gotta go with me. I mean, what other choices are there? I see myself in that role when I'm ridin' down town...

Second, the guy who's usually the main character. The ass kicker. The loose cannon. Mario. Gotta go with Pete.

Next is Princess Peach. The hope of the Mushroom Kingdom. The nice girl has been spotted sneaking out of her castle to spend the night in the apartment of a certain plumber... Dodie?

Next that Guido gangster and all around untrustworthy, unsavory character (and awesomely so) Wario. Walter Schobchak, or however it's spelt.

Afterwards is a psychotic cannibal who had to be locked up a la Hannibal Lectur. Kirby. ...I think Jin is appropriate here.

Hero of Time, now finding himself the police chief of the country that annexed his, and is bitter about it. Link. Let's say Lococolt. He once had his own forum...

Alongside the Hero of Time is that cross-dressing damsel who has taken to drinking since her kindgom was absorbed, Zelda. Oceaneyes is the one who comes to mind.

A proud policeman destined for greatness, Marth shall be played by Cain Highwind.

The last character's partner, Ike, shall be played by Andromeda.

A small, spherical being with glowing red eyes, a mask, and a big sword, obsessed with guarding his nemesis, the spectre, Meta Knight. Played by Sinister.

The young, innocent, loyal, and trusting to a fault, Pokemon Trainer shall be played by Soldier #819.

The once badass female space bounty hunter, now reduced to a stripper and escort (with a heart of gold!) Samus Aran... Sarah. Who hasn't been on in ages... oh well.

An angel and a (not so) innocent, Pit shall be played by Fate.

The badass. The one you don't want to mess with, or else you'll get PAUNCHED!! Captain Falcon shall be played by Meier Link.

Another who has relocated from the annexed country of Hyrule. He who lurks in the shadows, who wears the triforce around his neck, the treacherous Ganondorf. Played by Gravis.

Next, we have a shady immigrant scum of a fur--anthropomorphic character. Dealing black market goods. His name spells trouble. A far cry from the hero he was in a past life, Fox McCloud shall be played once more by Rocky.

Alongside Fox is his faithful friend with a bit of an itchy trigger finger, Falco Lombardi. As interpreted by Polk.

The third in the gang is one who was once their nemesis, though this seems to be long forgotten. Wolf O'Donnell, portrayed by Loaf.

A war veteran. Fought for your rights, you damned hippies! The least you could do is give him a handout! Solid Snake, played by The Clint Eastwood.
Crazy, crazy spaceman. Talks in cryptic riddles. Cuts up little tiny plant critters and puts them into capsules. Speaks of The End of Days. Captain Olimar, portrayed by darkViVi.

One of the four Dons, the one who introduced prostitution and gambling unto the Mushroom Kingdom, but is actually a humanitarian and wants to see an end to the bloodshed. King Dedede, portrayed by Dawezy.

A news reporter who is heavily against the Mario Brothers in his reports. His bloopers can be seen online, and one in particular shows him lose his cool in a most spectacular fashion. Lakitu, played by Phantom.

An old fashioned brawler, in the same vein as Mario. After the cannibal came, he lost interest in the Princess and became a Buddhist. Bowser, played by nix.

Girlfriend to the Pokemon Trainer and equally nice, Leaf shall be depicted by Gypsy Elder.

Okay. Didn't do everybody, because there's too many characters, a lot of whom didn't have a significant roll, or who I didn't feel like doing because I felt it would be too mean. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom