I ran into a lamp post once, I have a scar on my chin. I had to go to hospital coz there was a massive gash and they put stupid bloody massive white butterfly stitches on it. It hurt.... it was also witnessed by all my bloody friends

I also ran into a 'No ball games' post in the middle of a field whilst trying to use a carrier bag as a kite.... that had a witness as well, AND it hurt

I also ran into a lift, but that was my own stupid fault and it floored me. Again, witnesses, alas ]:

I tried climbing a house which is probably one of the stupider things Ive done, slipped, broke my arm, gave myself concussion and knocked a tooth out

Ive slipped on water on the kitchen floor afew times, always the same place as well - stupid dryer leaks, I KNOW its there and I should clean it up when it does leak, but I never quite get round to it, then I slip and land on my face, the worst time being when I'd just got out of the bath, butt naked went to grab an orange juice, slipped on my way out of the kitchen, poured said orange juice all over my face and had a massive bruise all down my leg which left 2 scars from where id landed on the metal thingy between the door

I could go on, I'm absolutely useless. I could injure myself in an empty padded room - it amazes me Im still alive