Working Too Hard And Being A Parent. A Father's Struggle

[OceanEyes28]

Aw, poor daddies.

And while I agree that there are some shameful fathers in the world, there are also some really good ones. I was blessed with a wonderful father who continues to be someone I look up to, so my first reaction to the article was sympathy.

The ideal situation, in my opinion, would be both mother and father sharing the employment load and still having plenty of time to raise their children. Good luck, right?

My example comes primarily from my father. My parents are divorced and my dad got primary custody of my brother and me. For a couple years, he played both traditional mother and father roles to the best of his ability. He worked hard as a psychiatrist and then he came home and made us dinner (and I mean actually cooked) and cleaned house. Sometimes we had to stay at daycare after school, and we stayed with our mom the weekends he was on call. But I never felt neglected, and I think we really lucked out in our father's ability to make time for us around his job. I wish all kids got the benefit of that flexibility.

I really don't know what kind of person I would be without the influence of my dad and I don't think I'd care to find out. I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but we're talking daddies.

I agree with the article's point that dads can be put under a lot of stress these days. And I agree that employers should be more understanding in allowing devoted fathers time to take care of their kids, especially if it's a single dad like mine.

Work over family? No, I don't think that's best. Careers are important, but my heart goes out to fathers who miss their kids grow up and then realize it when it's too late. Both an occupation and a family contain important events that I think should be experienced equally. I'm hoping to find a balance.

And then I've already mentioned the third question. For me, personally, I don't think I would be satisfied unless I was doing something I love and challenging myself in the workplace, and the kind of guy I find attractive wouldn't be either. But at the same time, I find attentive fathers completely adorable and I'd like nothing less for my own children. It's a hard situation, and that attitude probably doesn't help daddy stress.

Still, it's possible to do both. I've seen it in my own dad and I've seen it with other dads. It's hard to beat a good dad.