Lily's Den of Lyrical Nonsense

[Tiger Lily]

I don't really know where this came from, really. I just always thought the wind sounded sad.
First poetry I've written in who knows how long, so don't be too harsh.
Oh, and the rhyme scheme ... It's not there. Not regular, at least. =P

Windsong

The breeze moaned through the forest
Singing a ghostly song
Though the leaves whistled a chorus
The wind wailed its carol alone

There was no hope for the hollow gusts
As they swirled through the wood at dusk
There was no glory in its nocturne
Only a tale of woe

No one knew of the windsong
No one knew of its pain
There was no triumph in its mournful hymn
There was nothing to gain

Yeah ... I'm no poet. XD

[Chez Daja]

Wow. I read that an throughly enjoyed it.

You have some serious talent. You need to post in this thing more!

But yeah, I like the words you used in it;
"nocturne", "windsong", "hymn", "mournful", "hollow", "gusts", dusk"...

It's excellent, I loved it.

[Tiger Lily]

I need to find the stuff I wrote during SOSE class. But in the meantime...
This one's not so lyrical ... but still. I wrote it, and that's all the criteria it needs to fill. I got bored and wrote it. And yeah.. Keep in mind that I'm no poet.. XD

Maybe She

She sits there, pondering
You don't she's there
Because she never makes herself known.
But she's there,
Always there.
And she watches,
Always watches,
Always thinks,
Always there.

She wants to know what's happening
But in this world, she's always
One step behind.
She can't keep up,
And she only wants to help.
Or maybe,
She wants help.
Help to understand.
To catch up with what she's missed.

Maybe,
Just maybe,
She wants to walk by your side.
Maybe,
Just maybe,
She doesn't want the second hand news.
Maybe,
Just maybe...

Maybe she cares.

[Furore]

Not so lyrical, Lily?
I've seem some commercial songs with shorter lyrics. I like this one and I liked your previous one. They're both great.
I love the soul of your first one, it's like a glimpse into an abandoned region of a real forest, and seems to have a deeper meaning too. And the second is more of the same. It's got meaning, and it comes across well with the words you've used.

Quite frankly if you're not a poet, I have no idea who is.

[Sinister]

Make a note that I am no idler poster and flatterer. I have commented on very few lyrical and poetic efforts in my stint here at TFF.

I would like to comment on your poems, as poems, that I find as the potential birth of a serious and a professional poet.

I do not give credit where credit is not due. You are talented and I wish that you would continue your occupation as a poet with a lot of zeal and encouragement. I particularly appreciated your efforts in the poem "Windsong".

It is very much like a poem from a favorite poet of mine and I hope you continue to write.


Your lyrical admirer,
-Sin

[Tiger Lily]

Got some more for you ... Again, I'm not a poet! >.>

The Clouds

The clouds, they tumble carelessly
Across the azure sky,
Not seeing, hearing, caring
What is happening nearby.

The clouds, they venture endlessly
Over sea and land
Never stopping, never stumbling,
Never offering a hand.

The clouds, they haven’t get a care
For any but themselves,
And because of this they cry alone,
Pouring tears to earthly realms.

The clouds, they suffer every day,
They cannot ask for help
Because they know naught other than
Wandering the skies alone,
Oblivious to all else.


Pictures of What I Want

Painting pictures of what I want,
Not of what I need.
Everything I crave, there
In oil on canvas.
Every flaw in my desires
Laid bare for everyone to see.
Maybe I want to see perfection,
Not reality.
Because reality is rarely perfect.

Painting pictures of what I want,
There’s no harm in that.
I want to see consistency,
The colours in regular patterns.
I require control of what happens,
And the brush obeys my whims.
There’s nothing wrong with seeing
An image of flawlessness.

Painting pictures of what I want,
Not of what I need.
Like the ill-fated Lily Maid,
I’ve become lost in the pictures
Unfolding before my eyes.
I am half sick of shadows,
I am half sick of lies.
Perhaps, perhaps what I need
Is a good dose of reality.
The world is not perfect,
And I can accept that.
But now I need to see it.
Need to see it to believe it.

[Tiger Lily]

More stuff I dug out of my German book...
I'm not going to say it ... I get told off when I do. ><

Conflict

In this world there are
Two types of people.
Us.
And them.

What separates the two cultures?
Is it a barrier of intellect?
Appearance, maybe?
Or is it just that
They refuse to conform
To common stereotype?

Who has the right
To judge which is right
And which is wrong?
Not you.
Not I.

But if I had to choose,
I would say that we are in the wrong,
And they are in the right.


Like a Car Crash in Slow Motion

Like a car crash in slow motion
Every fault is laid bare
You can see
Everything that could have been done
To prevent it
And yet you can do
Nothing.
Gravity has taken over
And all there is to do
Is watch everything you thought you knew
Crumple before your eyes.

Like a car crash in slow motion
One slip, and you become
A mere spectator,
A witness to your own doom.
Spinning out of control,
Spiraling into despair
All there is left...

Is to wait.
Wait for the end to come.

Feedback would be helpful. Positive or negative, no matter. ^^

[Dimi]

You sure you're not a poet. It doesn't rhyme but who cares? You have amazing wording and "Conflict" is awesome. I can relate to it and I really think you should keep on writing. Honestly, I have no negative feedback. You're poem tell a story and it tells it beautifully.

[Tiger Lily]

Thanks, guys. ^^ Glad I'm not writing this stuff for a wall or whatever.
Anyways, here's another.

Stone

It’s a perfect image of you,
It captures your essence,
It holds your soul,
But still, it’s empty.
It has no dreams,
No hopes,
Nothing.

It doesn’t know anything
But the rough hands of its maker
And the harsh fire that sealed it.

Yet it still exists,
Exists without purpose,
Because it is ignorant
Of the possibilities.
It doesn’t know,
It doesn’t care.

And still it goes on.
Cold.
Silent.
Dead.
Stone.

[Tifa1195]

wow!! i read all of them they are the most wonderful things i ever read. i loved windsong its so relaxing. i hope you write more

[Confession]

Lilly M'dear It takes a man all the courage in the world to muster up these words, three little words that change the pathways or our lives. so hard to say yet our biggest decision.

Lilly
Make me waffles?

Nah seriously Will you marry me? there excellent, not many words can describe how good they are, i think you should quit school and sell your poems at a market, people would buy them as the go to buy some fresh bread.

they are amazing keep up the good work

[Tiger Lily]

Ah, my old poetry thread. I've come back to you.

Was a bit dubious on whether to post these, they're probably not my best work. One of them I dug up from a couple of months ago and improved, the other was a little more recent. Will start with the first one. (Yes, they are somewhat different to my previous stuff. A little less thoughtful, a little more pathetic. xD)

Constant

Another year come and gone,
And naught to show for it but another ring
On my trunk.

What am I here for?
Life is merely empty existence.

But I am here for you, little girl.
I am vast, stoic, melancholy.
I am a constant.
I am your constant.

I haven’t lived long, and yet I’ve been here
For longer than time itself.
I know so much more and so much less
Than you will ever learn.

I know, little girl,
That you’re sad.
That you’re broken.
I don’t know the feeling, but your eyes
Speak volumes. You don’t need a broken heart
To know a heart can be broken.
Yours is.

You’re Empty.
Shattered.
A chasm of hopelessness.

Don’t cry, little girl,
Everything will be okay.
I saw you in the rain, little girl,
I saw you as the sky wept.
I saw you. As you stood right by me, I saw you.
You were happy.

The New Year was a gallant knight,
Bringing the promise of salvation.
But then in his valour and grandeur,
He passed you by.

A glimpse of what was to come, in all its glory
Was what he gave to you,
And then in the same instant,
He took it from you.

You’re breaking, little girl.
You’re shattered and yet you can’t stop
Falling apart.

That glimpse of perfection,
It’s the most wonderful and terrible thing
That you could ever imagine.
It made you so happy, and in taking it away
Gay Lancelot took the meaning from your life.

But it’s okay, little girl.
I’m here for you. I always have been here.
I always will be. I’ll watch over you
As you pick yourself up. It seems impossible,
But you will.

So each day as you pass me by,
I’ll watch. I’ll rejoice in each smile that
Crosses your face, and lament
With every tear that you weep.

Because I am here, little girl.
I am a constant.



Substance

Pictures of you, pictures of me,
If only I had more than memories.
More than my recollections,
More than what’s in my mind’s eye.

A confidence with myself and I,
Isn’t there more than that?
I wish there was substance to my memories,
Something more than nostalgia on loop.

I wish there was something to touch, to hold,
To feel, to smell, to taste. Something that I
Could cling to and never let go.
Something that could remind me that
It wasn’t all a dream.
An imagined world of bliss;
It was too perfect to be anything else.

Looking forward, looking back, it’s all the same to me.
What happened to the present?
Why is now excluded from perfection?
It’s always been that way,
And I guess it always will be.
It’s the way of the world.

Pictures of you, pictures of me…
I only wish I had some.



I think I prefer Substance, but I guess they are both okay. Comments, criticism, anyone?
And Meow, I hadn't even noticed your comment until I came back in here. Silly Lily. The answer is yes to the waffles, but no to the marriage. =P
And thanks all for the previous comments if I haven't already said so. ^^

I have another one called Bandoleer that's in my English book. I'll endeavour to dig it up and edit so I'll post soon-ish.

PS. Consant is from a tree's perspective.

[Dimi]

These two are really good Lily. Good to see you digging up this old thread here again. Both are raw and well-worded. It has a flow to it and I've realized that it a poem doesn't need to rhyme to come out well. But yeah, that's why poetry has different styles. Great work Lily. Can't wait for the next one.

[Tiger Lily]

No more comments? How sad. Even a flame would have been interesting. Not that I want flamed or anything. Haha. Anyway, I'm sick of waiting for someone else to bump this, so here I go with Bandoleer.

Bandoleer

Trapped in a leather bandoleer,
Each of us in a separate pouch,
We are confined to this familiar prison.
Our tongues are silenced, no longer ours to move,
Held tight, bound by the soft kid that hides us from the world.

We were once a shimmering silver,
Glinting hopefully in the sunlight
As we sang.
Each voice different, each one of us a compliment to the next,
Each an essential part of the harmony.

Once we were a chorus of joyous shouts,
Each voice’s call a note of majesty.
Once we sang as one, each blending perfectly
With the next to create a faultless refrain.
Sweet and pure, each of us flattered the next.

But no longer. We have been
Locked away, hidden from sight,
Hidden from the light of day,
Our very existence denied to us.
We were once beautiful, but no more.
Our shine has dulled, our handles have dried,
The once-grand mahogany cracked and broken.
This is not safe-keeping, rather
It is a prison.
Time has fed on us, leaving nothing but
A rotting legacy of slow and painful decay.

We were once grand, once beautiful,
But no longer,
No longer.
We have been robbed of our brilliance,
And so the validation for our existence has been taken with it.

To keep us locked away,
To keep us safe by hiding us from the world?
A fool’s gesture.

Objects of our splendour
Are not to be hidden.
We have been destroyed,
Ruined by another’s foolishness.
The sacrilege, the indignity,
The pity of it.

There is not one of us who would not
Prefer to be chipped or scratched while carolling
To this empty lifetime of protective solitude.
We may now be perfect, but what is the use of perfection
If there will never be anyone who sees it?
To sing is the reason we exist,
A life unmarred is an empty one if we cannot carol,
Or shout, or chorus or lament,
To let out a note of pure ecstasy.

But fool, you took that from us,
Took our purpose, coveted our reason for existence.
Trapped us in the leather of this bandoleer.
And now we are nothing.
We are the bells that never sing.

[Twilight_wolf]

Great work lily! All of them are really great!
They may not be rhyming or whatever other things you think are bad about them but they have a really good flow and are full of emotion and meaning. And in my opinion that is all that really matters. A poem doesn't have to be rhyming or have good structure or anything it just has to flow nicely and draw the reader in, something which you have successfully achieved.
Keep up the great work!

[Tiger Lily]

Was going to wait until I'd gotten two finished to put them up here, but the second one is being mutinous. So here I go with a Sweeney Todd interpretation. I'm not sure how well I did it, I had better expectations and may rewrite at some point. It is meant to have a lot of polysemy, but yeah, dunno how well that worked. Ah well, won't make much of a difference to many people anyway. Sort of a select audience as far as that goes. So perhaps it be intertextual polysemy? Who cares what it is. If it's prominent enough, someone'll get it, I'm sure.

So here we go. A Sweeney Todd [real name is Benjamin Barker, if the title confuses you] attempt.

Benjamin

And she was beautiful and pale
With yellow hair
And once,
Once upon a time long gone…
She was mine.

For what was a peaceful Autumn
In our lives,
We were happy.
The days were slow and warm,
Toned with the relaxed air of bliss.
Happy... I was happy once.
We were happy.
Happy to live with and for each other.

But I was naïve.
I thought I could give her everything.
Everything she needed,
Everything she wanted.

I was wrong.

I only began to realize it as I was
Swept away from my love on the ocean
As the ruthless seas of life and actuality
Tore me from her.

For something that was not my fault,
Not my shortcoming,
Not my burden…
And still, I deserve it.
I shall consider it my penance for my
Naivety. But I will prevail. I will return to her,
One day, I will return to her…
One day…

So it became that my every thought,
Every free second of my time,
I spent on her.
One day, I thought,
One day I’ll go back.

The days turned into weeks,
The weeks to months,
The months to years,
Right before my eyes. And yet,
As I blinked they all flew past at once.

It breaks my heart
Each time,
To pull the photographs from my pocket
And see her face.
The paper, over the years, has become yellowed
And worn, from the tears shed over it.
Yellow…

She was beautiful and pale
With yellow hair.
And once…
Once, she was mine.


Comments, if you please? Feedback be good. ^^

I'm thinking I may do a followup entitled Lucy, but I'm not sure yet...

[Dimi]

Awesome Lily! Sweeney Todd interpretations. What song were you exactly interpretating? I was thinking maybe "Johanna" for some reason. It could be because I was listening to it when I was browsing the Trivia threads about five or so minutes ago.

You should definitely do a follow up though. Your wording is great and its so Sweeney Like. [DVD's coming out over here next month. I'll ship you one. ]

[Craven]

I like Lily, I like! I guessed it was interpreted from the story itself .

"There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful, A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous and he was; Naive. There was another man who saw that she was beautiful, a pious vulture of the law, who with the gesture of his claw, removed the barber from his plate, then there was nothing but to wait, and she would fall, so soft, so young, so lost and oh so beautiful!."

Keep writing! Good Work!

[Tiger Lily]

I has a new poem. It's a sop, I might add. Not as good as it was when it started out, due to grammar and flow conflicting. *sigh* It's probably my best so far. Probably the one with the most lyric, too.

I was sitting in English today, looking over some of Emily Dickinson's work for our Poetry unit. My teacher said something about sonnets. This reminded me of one of Old Shakes' sonnets that I'd heard recently. The first line floated into my head, and for the rest of the lesson and part of the next I elaborated on it. Thus, this.

Please don't be too mean. I've never written romantic poetry before and I feel exposed and all that. Here, I've a dedication. In.. really crappy rhyme. XD Please don't be scared by either poetic attempts. You know what they say about the romantics. Perpetually over the top and flouncy. The fops of the poetic world. It's funny 'cause it's true. Anyway..

Your sentiment made me flush and smile
And so I went a further mile,
I thought a lot, I dithered some
And then at once the thought did come,
Started in class and finished at home,
Is a poem of my own!

God. That was so lame it wasn't even funny. Without further ado (and with a change of tone, thank the Lord):


My All

You, my one and all,
You, who validate my very being,
You, who are and encompass
All I desire
And you, the only one who can claim me -

You are my reason and life,
You are each breath, each word, each thought,
And my every waking moment is spent
Dwelling on you, my love.

What words are there to express
The breadth or depth or length
Or width or height
Of my love for you?
There are none, my love,
There are none.

No words to tell how I
Yearn for you, dream of you,
Want you, need you, adore you!
No words to tell you how I
Love and lust for you.

No words can begin to describe
That which I feel for you.
I digress, this must suffice -

You, my love,
You are my one and all;

You are all I need.


Uhmm. Yeah. Comments? (I am so scared about posting this. You know what they say about the heart on the sleeve.. XD)

[Furore]

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SCARED, MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
But seriously, it is a great poem.
It captures the emotion perfectly, sounds good when I recite it in my head, and I like the structure a decent amount too. I also love some of the words you used. It doesn't seem dumbed down like some work I have read recently... (not on TFF I might add).
A great poem.

[Craven]

I love it Lily, its a great poem ^^. And if I know who you are talking about, then its even more beautiful ^^.

[Dimi]

Aww, I keep telling you that TFF shouldn't know about our romance. First our marriage? Now this?

Seriously though it's an amazing poem. It sounds raw and the emotion that Nathan says is capture perfectly. Good work.

[Tiger Lily]

Thanks guys. It means a lot. Probably the most personal thing I've written. The best, too, as far as lyric, structure and technique goes, I believe. I think (hope) I'm improving. It'd be nice to think so, at least. Anyway, thank you for the comments. ^^

And yes, Craven, it's likely that you've got it right. Heh.

[Doc Rocco]

I told you before, it's a very nice poem. I don't know why you had any qualms about whether or not to post it. It is really quite a lovely and fantastic poem.