I'm so sad, why don't I ever meet any nice girls?

[iamagod]

I mean really, I just want to meet a nice, beautiful young woman who loves to kick men in the family jewels, but they seem to be such a rare breed. I want a girlfriend like this:


Does anyone have any advice on how I can find such a girl?

[Michael Swayne]

You could always advertise in your local newspaper. The paper I work at has gotten some weird personals ads in the five-and-a-half years I have worked there, and there hasn't been any requesting for a woman whose special talent is being a "nut cracker" yet (you could be the first). All else, craigslist or any message boards should work fine.

But seriously, what do you do when you're lonely? Set up a swingset really close to a telephone pole or something? Slam your "parts" in a car door?

Anyway, advertising is probably your best bet. I guess it takes all sorts.

[iamagod]

You could always advertise in your local newspaper. The paper I work at has gotten some weird personals ads in the five-and-a-half years I have worked there, and there hasn't been any requesting for a woman whose special talent is being a "nut cracker" yet (you could be the first). All else, craigslist or any message boards should work fine.

But seriously, what do you do when you're lonely? Set up a swingset really close to a telephone pole or something? Slam your "parts" in a car door?

Anyway, advertising is probably your best bet. I guess it takes all sorts.

That's not a bad idea, I haven't tried advertising in any local papers before. I have however put up several Craigslist ads over the course of several months, but nobody was interested in kicking me in the balls it would seem. I'm on a message board right now, does that count? I'm not sure any of the girls here would kick me in the nuts, not even for money. And if they would be interested in doing so, they would most likely live too far away

I bet Tifa would kick me in the family jewels if she were real

[Polk]

So does this bit ever actually have a payoff? Or is it just gonna be a couple of troll accounts posting about getting kicked in the junk until you get bored and go away?

[che]

I dunno, bashing an idea that I had forgotten was even an issue since 4th grade into my face over and over is starting to get pretty hilarious the more I read about it. And who doesn't find people in physical pain funny? I'm gonna link this shit to Tom Bergeron so he can die of laughter so I don't have to see that shitty ass show anymore when I'm flipping channels.

[Pete]

Lets see why you can't meet a nice girl:

Your name is iamgod, narcissistic, duh
You want to be kicked in the jewels... That's kind of a major turnoff and probably an indicator of some major issues, probably of a submissive nature.

So, you're a narcissistic submissive personality, bipolar much?

[ultima_trev]

If one's ambition in life is to merely get kicked in the gonads, one doesn't need a girlfriend for that. I'm sure there are several women out there willing to kick you in such a manner, you just gotta say and do the right things.

If you haven't been kicked in the nuts enough for your taste, you're obviously too nice to them. Stop being a pansypants and start acting like a chauvinistic tard. Might even help if they are professed lesbians.

[Clint]

Don't even bother trying to meet a girl. The most macho thing in the world is being gay. What's more macho then a relationship which involves two men, and no women? Men are manly. Women are girly, no matter how manly they try to be.

If a woman kicks you in the balls, she's only doing so to prove her superiority as a gender. She can't do that, however, because the female gender is already a joke. If a man kicks you in the balls, it's because he believes you're manly enough to take the pain.

So go gay, because if you go gay, that means you're a man.

[IcyJJ]

So I was surfing the web looking for some new custom campaigns to play on WCIII. To my surprise, I found a member using this thread.

Ballbusting - The Hive Workshop

Apparently, this guy loves to run around everywhere and post nothing about getting kicked in the crotch.

My opinion: go find a fetish site.