Discussion: Overuse of the word Gay

[Phantom]

Hey all, I've noticed that weither I'm looking on a webpage, or playing on FFXI, the word Gay comes up in almost every sentence. People just use the word for almost anything that doesn't go right for them. Me being Gay I find it kind of offensive. I mean, why does everyone use the word "Gay" for everything? For example: OMG, this is so Gay, That was the Gayest thing I've ever heard, That's gay dude, This is f***ing Gay, He's a Fag, That Fight was so Gay. Those are just a few examples of what I see either on the forum, FFXI, or most webpages I visit everyday. Why do people constantly use Gay as a word when things don't go their way? Is this the latest fad teens and probarly young adults are getting into? Why are people using the word Gay in that kind of way at all? I see it everywhere on the internet and it makes me wonder why people can't use some other word? Why are people using the word in the first place? And from where did this stim from? What are your throughts and opinons on this everyone?

[Jin]

Here's the thing about that, language changes and there isn't much you can do about it. After all, if we want to be purest, the word "gay" shouldn't offend you at all as it originally had nothing to do with sexual preference. It's meaning changed and it became a term of degredation that lost all attachments to both homosexuality and happiness.

Have you ever used the word gip (or gyp, or however that's spelled) to say that something was a rip off? The term is derived from gypsy and in all technicallity is a racial slur. But you'd be hard pressed to find a user that actually intended to attack gypsies. The same is now becoming true for the word Jew, which annoys the hell out of me, seeing as I'm part Jewish, but what can you do? Most of the people that say "hey, don't be a Jew!" don't even think of it in the sense of degrading a race/religion. Some do, as do some using the word "gay", but for the most part, it's just a matter of language.

Another example are place names like Souix Falls or anything relating to the European name for the Dakota Indians. Souix actuallys means something like dirty rat (I forget the exact translation), but none of the users today mean it that way. It's just engrained in language.

Languages change.

[Phantom]

Here's the thing about that, language changes and there isn't much you can do about it. After all, if we want to be purest, the word "gay" shouldn't offend you at all as it originally had nothing to do with sexual preference. It's meaning changed and it became a term of degredation that lost all attachments to both homosexuality and happiness.

Have you ever used the word gip (or gyp, or however that's spelled) to say that something was a rip off? The term is derived from gypsy and in all technicallity is a racial slur. But you'd be hard pressed to find a user that actually intended to attack gypsies. The same is now becoming true for the word Jew, which annoys the hell out of me, seeing as I'm part Jewish, but what can you do? Most of the people that say "hey, don't be a Jew!" don't even think of it in the sense of degrading a race/religion. Some do, as do some using the word "gay", but for the most part, it's just a matter of language.

Another example are place names like Souix Falls or anything relating to the European name for the Dakota Indians. Souix actuallys means something like dirty rat (I forget the exact translation), but none of the users today mean it that way. It's just engrained in language.

Languages change.

If its just a mere "language" as you say then I say the language is twisted. I know in the past the word defined for Gay meant "Jolly" or "happy", but nowadays most are twisting that to something else including the word "Fag" in the mix with Gay. I don't know about you but I don't like seeing people say "Gay" for everything, in most cases guys say it more then girls do (if girls even use the word at all which I don't think most do.) And also I hardly think most teens know about term changes in words like Gay or Fag, they just say it just to say it. So we say "This is so Gay!!" when things go wrong?

[Sasquatch]

I know in the past the word defined for Gay meant "Jolly" or "happy", but nowadays most are twisting that to something else including the word "Fag" in the mix with Gay.

In the past, yes, the word "gay" had to do with a state of happiness, but that's changed, as have quite a few other words in the English language, especially the American dialect. Why are you upset that "gay" is changing from "homosexual" to "stupid", but not upset that it changed from "happy" to "homosexual"? Homosexuals initially twisted the word to become a label for them, and now they're unhappy that it's being twisted again.

Regardless, part of the reason the word is being twisted (again) is that it was twisted initially to fit "homosexual". You pick any other word and claim it as a self-applied label for "homosexual", and eventually that word will become synonymous with another bad trait, just like "gay" now means "homosexual" and "stupid", depending on the context.

[Jin]

Ever notice how words are only twisted until the twisted version are popular enough to be accepted and untwisted?

Kids don't have to know anything about linguistics to begin using a term differently. They hear a few people saying it, begin mimicry and soon enough it is engrained into their lexicon. I dislike when people use "gay" or "fag" like that too, but even I let a "what the gay!?" slip out once in a while. It doesn't mean I'm doing it to be rude to homosexuals.

In the end, there's nothing you can do about it, save trying to start a counter movement within the language and hope that it catches on.

[Fluffy]

This thread is gay.

I'm sorry, I had to.

I dislike the term gay being used in the ways you describe as well, as well as calling someone gay being used as an insult. But really, there's not much you can do about it. Maybe bring up your dislike of things like this is close to as much as you can do.

I would assume it stemmed from the social taboo of homosexuality. As I'm sure everyone is aware, although it is much more widely accepted today, it wasn't very long ago that homosexuality was viewed as something extremely negative. There will never be complete acceptance, but as acceptance rises you'll probably see less usage of the word over generations, at which time the newer generations will pick up a new word.

There's something I've been wondering, actually. When did the usage of the word gay as an identifying term for homosexuals begin? Anyone know?

Sorry to go a bit off topic in this paragraph.. There actually seems to be a trend in words. I predict that the next widely used term will have to do with pedophilia, if there isn't one already. It's recently more often being joked about. It's probably the next thing to come as the homosexuality taboo subsides. Based on personal experience of myself and a few others I've discussed with, when people are asked what's the most insulting thing you can call a man, "pedophile" seems to be agreed upon somewhat frequently. Oddly, it's not the most offensive thing you could call a woman.

In general I don't think these terms are really meant to be used maliciously by most people. I understand that the very use of a term you identify as being used negatively can be offensive, but really, what can you do?

[Unknown Entity]

I too have noticed that the word Gay is used quite offten - even to explain feelings that aren't Gay, for example: The other day, i saw a poster up at school advertising Japanese classes. I thought "Great! I wanna join!" I told my friend, and her response was: "But thats Gay... you don't wanna do that, do?" I don't understand why people use the word like that! I took offence because one of my closest friends admitted to me that she is bi.

Everytime i hear someone use the word Gay in this way, i stand up to challenge them, - Why should something be Gay, just because they don't agree with it? I hate Gay-Haters!

[Priscilla]

I will admit that I use the word 'gay' in sentances very often. It's just a word like 'stupid' or 'dumb' to me but it doesn't mean I have anything against gay people, one of my best friends is a lesbian and she even uses the word. She doesn't see anything wrong with it.

Sure if I knew someone took offence to it I would refrain from saying it around them. But it's one of the most commonly used describing words in my area and no one has a problem with it. No one is trying to offend homosexual people by saying the word 'gay' if they were then I could see a problem with it but otherwise no.

[Walter Sobchak]

Do people still use gay as a slur? No one I know still does. It seems like it faded years ago.

and eventually that word will become synonymous with another bad trait

Surely you jest.

Jin, very interesting stuff on the gyp. I used to use the word gyp, but I use Jew almost exclusively now. Friends and I were going out to dinner, and we did not let someone come with us because they would "Jew up the tip". I mean no offense, obviously. People are too uptight sometimes.

I am more worried about white kids calling one another nigra (the uncensored one).

[Sasquatch]

Surely you jest.

Since I disagree with homosexuality, no. Either way, my point was that words become slurs and insults, while their original intention was never meant to be that.

A few decades ago, black people would have been offended to be called anything but "negro". "Chinaman" was a common term and not a slur. You use either of these terms nowadays, and you'll be branded a racist.

On the other hand, "nigger", which was (and, to some extent, still is) a racial slur in recent history, has now become not just a slur, but a label -- it's only a socially acceptable label if used in the right context, or by the right people. Depending on who says it, it can be a racist label and a generalization for black people, or it could be a specific name used to refer to one black person. "Nigger-rigging" and "jury-rigging" are the same thing, along with "African engineering" and "Appalachian engineering".

The point is that languages, especially specific words in a language, evolve. Why is it that homosexuals are upset at the evolution of "their words", but fail to realize that they forced the evolution of some words to make them "theirs" in the first place?

EDIT: I don't know if it's because of the post or simply the statement that I disagree with homosexuality, but to the person who gave me negative rep, the entire four points you gave me doesn't count much. Thanks anyway.

[Phantom]

Since I disagree with homosexuality, no. Either way, my point was that words become slurs and insults, while their original intention was never meant to be that.

A few decades ago, black people would have been offended to be called anything but "negro". "Chinaman" was a common term and not a slur. You use either of these terms nowadays, and you'll be branded a racist.

On the other hand, "nigger", which was (and, to some extent, still is) a racial slur in recent history, has now become not just a slur, but a label -- it's only a socially acceptable label if used in the right context, or by the right people. Depending on who says it, it can be a racist label and a generalization for black people, or it could be a specific name used to refer to one black person. "Nigger-rigging" and "jury-rigging" are the same thing, along with "African engineering" and "Appalachian engineering".

The point is that languages, especially specific words in a language, evolve. Why is it that homosexuals are upset at the evolution of "their words", but fail to realize that they forced the evolution of some words to make them "theirs" in the first place?

EDIT: I don't know if it's because of the post or simply the statement that I disagree with homosexuality, but to the person who gave me negative rep, the entire four points you gave me doesn't count much. Thanks anyway.

Your quite welcome The last thing I went is to flame in my own thread, and the 4 points was worth it to me. I could careless weither or not you accept homosexuality or not, but I gave that rep because your post just went beyond offensive it was insulting to me as a homosexual. So explain to me how homosexuals forced the evolution of "their words"? Tell me something, what is "our words" Sasquatch? Seeing as you sincerly disagree with anything homosexual I wonder why you would even post in here in the first place. How did homosexuals twist those words? I don't think we used a screwdriver to twist them.





You think that most people who hear these words don't get offended by them? With the way homosexuals are treated even now just hearing someone say: That's Gay, or seeing it on webpages, or online games seeing it used in almost every sentence, just seeing or hearing it used that way is offensive (at least to me) but I'm sure there are probarly others that feel this way as well. To quote something I read earlier: "This is the gayest mother******* piece of gay **** I've ever seen in my life. Mother******* fags. This is ******* gay." Something I read while on FFXI earlier. But that's point I'm making. Some people don't see nothing wrong with that. I'm not trying to flamebait in any way here, so I'm sorry if I went off topic everyone.

[Merlin]

I was taught about homonyms at a very young age. What exactly is a homonym? A homonym is one of a group of words that share the same spelling and the same pronunciation but have different meanings. Bitch is a female dog. Someone might call your wife a bitch. Same word... different meaning.

Fluke can mean:
A fish, and a flatworm.
The end parts of an anchor.
The fins on a whale's tail.
A stroke of luck.

bow - To bend forward at the waist in respect (e.g. "bow down")
bow - the front of the ship (e.g. "bow and stern")
bow - the weapon which fires arrows (e.g. "bow and arrow")
bow - a kind of tied ribbon (e.g. bow on a present, a bowtie)
bow - to bend outward at the sides (e.g. a "bow-legged" cowboy)

The term "snowflake" is a good example of my point today. It is an ice crystal that falls from the ground... but it is also used to refer to children whom are sheltered by their parents and are easily offended by the slightest things, such as harmless gestures. And no, I am not calling anyone here a snowflake, before you jump on the bandwagon of no return. Nice try, but no cigar. Wow, there's two more. I'm on a roll.

In reference to the word "gay", it originated in the 14th Century from the Anglo-French term "gai", which is Germanic in origin. The reference to homosexuality did not come until 1953, so with all due respect to all homosexuals out there, its not your word... and you have no real claim to it. Its been around hundreds of years. If people start using it for something else, be happy. Make up a new term. Its not that hard. Thats how all homonyms originate. All it takes is one person to start using a phrase over and over and people will pick it up and run with it.

Take my job for instance. There's a guy that comes in there every day advertising for a parade called Fiesta South. It will never happen. The guy is off his rocker. So the store manager started saying "Thats as stupid as Fiesta South". Now pretty much all the employees say it on a regular basis.

Don't let people's use of words offend you. Its pointless. Hell, my friends say racial, etc insults to each other and about ourselves all day. One white friend calls me a cracker on a regular basis. My Korean friend calls me a *****. At work, the African Americans call me a ******. My boss calls me a slut. I'm a white tech-savvy guy.

Now, while the people I associate with don't take offense at such things, a lot of people do. There's really not much we can do about that except determine what bothers people and avoid it. Even that is hard to do. I also have a habit of trying to broaden people's understanding of things around them, so if I slip up (which everyone does), I will explain my reasoning and apologize.

Now that I've made a complete circle of sorts, what's my overall point here? Words have multiple meanings. Before you jump to conclusions about what someone is saying, do some research. Ask them why they use that word... what meaning are they implying by using it. People are often accused of being prejudiced when they are in fact not being so. Here's some food for thought: Accusing someone of being prejudiced for saying "thats so gay", "its a black thing", or anything else of the sort means that YOU are in fact prejudiced for the simple fact that you have no idea why the person said it, did not bother to ask, and jumped to the inevitable "prejudice card". Yeah. There are racists, gay-bashers, etc out there. Try asking them about it before accusing them of it. You'd be suprised at the results.

[Sasquatch]

...your post just went beyond offensive it was insulting to me as a homosexual.

How? I apologize if you took offense to it, but that wasn't my intention -- or even my realization. I honestly don't understand what part of that post could be deemed "offensive" by any logical argument.

So explain to me how homosexuals forced the evolution of "their words"?

I was referring to the word "gay" -- you know, the topic -- which was claimed by homosexuals as a label. Because of this, the definition changed ("evolved", if you will) from "happy" to "homosexual". And now the definition is changing/evolving further, and you're not happy with it.

Seeing as you sincerly disagree with anything homosexual I wonder why you would even post in here in the first place.

The topic isn't about homosexuality, it's about the word "gay" and the evolution of its usage and meanings. Either way, I can still come in and chip in my two cents.

How did homosexuals twist those words? I don't think we used a screwdriver to twist them.

"Twist", in this context, would mean to warp or manipulate it to the desired effect. (See, other words have multiple meanings, too.) The word "gay" was deliberately twisted into a self-imposed label for homosexuals, and now is being naturally twisted -- or evolving -- into a different definition. Just like, as mentioned before, the word "Jew" has been twisted into describing something cheap or stingy. Or, sticking to the same labels of homosexuals, the words "fag/faggot" and "queer" have evolved into derogatory slurs. For better or for worse, offensive or not, languages, and words within those languages, evolve and gain different meanings.

I know this'll sound harsh, but some people need to harden the **** up.

Thank you. I couldn't have said it better.

[Crazy Chocobo]

I will admit that I use the word 'gay' in sentances very often. It's just a word like 'stupid' or 'dumb' to me but it doesn't mean I have anything against gay people

Thank you Cilla, I agree with you very much so. I sometimes use the word too, but very rarely. I don't mean it as an insult at all, I use it as another word for stupid or silly. I said it more as a kid, probably because kids never understand that sort of stuff. I don't use it much now because I know some people will take offense to it even though I don't mean it in a rude way. I have nothing against gays/homosexuals.. my cousin is actually gay and he is an awesome person, heck most of them are awesome people. There are worse words out there that I would be more concerned about too. I know people who say the word an awful lot and yes, it can be very annoying if it is really over used.. that is when it should be found insulting. I don't think most people use it as an insult, they just say it when they are annoyed or something doesn't go right. They probably don't even use the word with that meaning like Cilla said. It does have different meanings after all.

I know this'll sound harsh, but some people need to harden the **** up. Seriously, not everyone means to offend

Yeah, I agree with that, that's just the truth. Not everybody is being offensive.

Well, that's my opinion on the matter.

[Pete]

I actually have to agree with Sasquatch on this one. Not the fact that he disagrees with homosexuality, but rather because he does a good job of describing the evolution of words. At one point gay meant happy and jovial. Then it referred to homosexuals and homosexual culture. Now it means something along the lines of "lame, stupid of just crappy." In the UK a fag is a cigarette. How the hell did that become a derogatory term for homosexuals? I'd like to chalk that up to word evolution.

I also agree that words are given meaning and put into new context by groups. After slavery's end, a cracker became a racist term against caucasians, referring to them cracking the whip. At the same time, today it's been given similar meaning by blacks in reference to whites. Yet, you can't help but think of Ritz crackers.

The same thing with the n-word and all it's variations. At one point it was negro/negroid,etc, simply referring to African/African Americans. Then "nigger came about as a purely hateful term, stemming from negro, to describe blacks. Today, it's acceptable to say on BET, rap songs, videos and black culture. It's even spread to white culture as a greeting! Probably the most reviled word in the entire history of the English language is nothing more than a common greeting now? I think someone needs a history lesson.

But all in all, I'm sure in 10 or so years, gay will mean something completely different than it does now, aside from referring to homosexuality. It just seems to be the way things go these days.

[Sean]

I drop the n-word on a regular basis amongst my kitchen, and never as a derogatory term aimed at afrcian-americans, as well as using gay to refer to unsavory conditions.

It's just how language is used, and I think if you're taking offense to people using the word gay in such a manner then you're over reacting. If that's all it takes to set you off now I'd hate to see how you handle the rest of the shit that I'm sure homosexuals deal with within today's society.

[Furore]

As Merlin mentioned the word homonyms, I'll throw another word into the mix. Connotations.

That's really what I think this is more an issue of. Regardless of a word's denotative meaning, some people will always see a connotation that could be completely different. I for example will see the word gay as meaning something along the lines of 'crap, lame, stupid, retarded' etc. And if you look at those words, some I'm using also carry a different connotation with me than their denotative meaning would suggest. We all get something different out of the things we hear.

Though I don't have a problem with homosexuals, if I did hate them for whatever reason I think I'd be much more likely to call them something like a '****ing homosexual' rather than a 'gay'. That's just me though, there. Some probably would use the word gay. I've even heard some people use 'gay fags'. How's that for connotative redundancy? ><

Basically what I'm trying to say I believe is that when most people call some thing 'gay', what they really mean is 'lame, crap, bullshit' etc, and they don't really mean any offense to homosexual individuals. You can usually tell when someone does mean offense, just by how they go on about the subject.

I know this'll sound harsh, but some people need to harden the **** up. Seriously, not everyone means to offend, and those that do, tend to **** themselves over via that which I know as Karma. Call it what you want, but what goes around, comes around. Like you go making fun of all gay people, and one eventually happens to be a gigantic mass of muscles twice your size? What then? Probably something like... 'Oh ****....' *pants shitting*

[some guy]

I must say that reading the topic, and the first few post's it got me a-thinking, that, yes, I do say that word alot and I'm very discriminant, but I don't really mean it in a harmful way. Like for instance playing ps2 and something goes wrong, I'll start making stupid comments, that come to think of it now, I don't know what I was on about. But I think it's use in the wrong context, if we dislike something we should ether not speak of it (if you don't have anything nice to say dont say anything at all) or just say proper "swear" words.

[Seiffy08]

Making comments about those "words", are bad. However, I don't think people mean it in a harmful way unless they say it directly to your face. My friend actually is frightened because he saw brokeback mountain a few weeks back, and he was like "first gay novels, then gay movies, next will be gay video games. I'm so scared." I was like why, its nothing new really. Look at characters like Vaan in Final fantasy XII. Greyfox in Metal Gear is nicknamed "deepthroat". I've seen it all, and it doesn't really bug me, because its all in good fun. But I do think that when it becomes offensive to people. Then they should draw the line.

[Rasler+]

I have nothing against gay dudes, but I've also been seeing a lot of these on the web (or if not the web, in real life). Like one time, when my friends and I were in an audition, we came across a singer who *doesn't sing very well* and we heard one of the guys saying, "Oh man, that is so gay."

It doesn't really bother me that much `cause I don't know a lot about the third sex but if it offends someone that much, then I guess it's pretty unpleasant to hear.