Is hitting your child considered abuse?

[Rowan]

Really wanted to get some of your opinions on this one. Now I know there is a fine line between abuse and discpiline, but I was recently told than any form of hitting or wooden spoon or belt, was considered child abuse even if the intention is to discpline, as opposed to appeasing ones frustrations.


Now tell me, I was raised this way and I have the utmost respect for my parents. I wont allow someone to tell me they 'abused me' and that I have some kind of stockholm sydrome because I would not have turned out the way I did if it were not for the discipline I recieved as a child. Because I work within a school, the topic came up at lunch when I was chatting to the student welfare co-ordinator. She said to me "Dont say that to the student welfare co-ordinator of the school you work for"

Seriously? Im not allowed to have an opinion? What the ****

[Odin1199]

There's a fine line between hitting and beating. IMO yes you can hit your child if it doesn't want to obey or listen occasionally. There's nothing wrong with that, it teaches children discipline, obedience and respect. It was done in schools and still is in UK. In the past that's how children were brought up and imo they were way better and way less spoiled than the "modern age" youth. Beating them excessively on a regular basis though is bad though.

[01habbo]

As long as it is controlled and not done in anger then yes, I think hitting is okay, I was spanked as a kid sent up to my room with no dinner, it teaches a lot, and I think that kids these days are given too much choice by parents and parents are too lenient. You are the adult they are the child they do not have equal rights as you do, your job is to make sure they grow up to be respectable members of society, not to mummy cuddle them so they turn out to have no respect for other people.

[Lily]

you see some kids about that look like they need a good smack. you can clearly see they run the household etc. I don't hit my kid, words and other punishments are enough these days, but in saying that, i have always had that parental control that some people seem to lack. And that means she did get a smacked hand when she was younger. the naughty step never really worked for us, so if she was repeatedly trying to pull the CD tower down (who has one of those anymore?!) or trying to put her hand on the fire place, she would get a smacked hand. Simple and effective. There is a difference between a slapped hand and beating the living shit out of them for being naughty and just doing what young children/toddlers do.
Though, like I have said, there is no need to do this now as she is old enough to understand and has been for years (9) and there are more effective punishments. Early bed, bed with no tea if she's choosing not to eat it/come home for it, confiscation of the many electrical items she seems to have. And I always follow through on my threats as well. I'm not one of those who will be all ' do this or else' she knows i mean it.
Belts and wooden spoons are going far to far in my opinion though. Why does the punishment have to be that painful, completely unnecessary.

[Alpha]

Not abuse. Abuse is generally pretty obvious. Abuse will scar a child much beyond what a small physical punishment would.

In saying that, in New Zealand technically it is illegal to hit your child at all. Popularly referred to as the anti-smacking law. Smacking still exists, just as the law's proponents said it would. What it has done has removed abusive parents' ability to say that they were just punishing their kids with a piece of 2x4. As long as police retain good judgement of when to press charges, I think it's a very sensible piece of legislation. Removes loop holes. There has not been a single case of a parent being charged with abuse for what a reasonable person would call parental correction. A lot more cases of abusive parents being brought to justice.

Finally, I doubt very much that I'd smack my children. My girlfriend said she would if she had children. So I'm gonna be the soft one they come to to ask for things they're not allowed. I'm such a pushover lol.

[loaf]

Abuse is exactly what it is. Improper use or treatment of whatever you're doing.

If you're improperly hitting your children then it's abuse.

I can be a major weed abuser according to Rehab centers and I have problem and need help. But to others? I'm just a stoner.

[Tiffany]

Claire has received a spank on the bum, but that's only in the most severe times and I've rarely resorted to doing it. There is a massive line between abuse and needing to establish control, because lets face it: Parents HAVE to be in control. Kids are impulsive, rarely think beyond the next 10 minutes of what they're about to do and have zero idea about actions/consequence.

[Unknown Entity]

I wouldn't say hitting a child was abuse unless the parent or guardian was being excessive with their treatment. There's a line between hitting a child and beating the crap out of them. I think there's better punishments, like grounding or taking privileges away. Instead of just giving them everything, make them feel like they've earned privileges - I think that's a better way to enforce good behaviour. Getting physical is heartbreaking.

I'd like to think I'd never have to hit my child, but I will if I have to. And never their face - that's just awful when I've seen parents do that. My aunt's neighbour used to pinch her daughter when she was being a brat - I consider that abuse. A slap stings, sure, but a pinch leaves a bruise and smarts hours and maybe days later. I've seen a woman in public take her shoe off and clap her little boy around the side of the face with it multiple times - FAR too extreme for a kid sobbing over not getting what he wanted in the store.

I was hit when I was younger, but my mother rarely had to - I'd had to have really ****ed up something to deserve it. I don't think I was ever hit more than five times, and was only once sent to bed without dinner (except my mum caved and called us down to eat a few hours later).

[poeticfighter]

This in my country has become a bad thing due to a few serious abuse cases. Beating children with shovels and stuff. Truth is, I agree with beatings just not in anger and not with weird stuff. The bottom to me is the safe area, they might not be able to sit but least there is no visible shameful markings. However, beatings don't work effectively on all children. The rod that should not be spared can take many many forms. Take my Nintendo away was more hurtful than a beating..sometimes. When discipline isn't done at home, it'll be done in prison. Trust me, better the parent than the state..in most cases. Abuse should be dealt with, but that differentiation is hard to see, unless you observe carefully each individual case. If I can't beat my child...Mark my words, the state can't either...that includes prison. Discipline begins at home. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

[Pete]

There's a huge difference between a spanking and abuse. I was hit all the time as a kid, for any number of infractions. Bad grades, that's a paddlin'; talking back, that's a paddlin'; and so on and so forth. However, it was always explained to me after the fact why I got it, and it was never without warrant or excessive. Did it hurt? Absolutely, but it's supposed to hurt.

I think the line is really drawn at the nature of the punishment being doled out. If you're doing things that can cause permanent physical or psychological damage, then it's abuse. Using anything more than a belt or a wooden spoon is excessive, as is locking a kid in the basement or any other room for a prolonged period of time.

I'm pretty sure that I'll physically discipline my kids when they're younger, to reinforce that actions have consequences, and then when they become old enough to have a console or want to go out with their friends, that'll get taken away from them as necessary.

[noxious.sunshine]

Pretty much what everyone else said. There's a fine line between spanking and beating a child.

My dad got the blood beat out of his back growing up. And my mom got spanked. And no, my dad never had a bad relationship with my pawpaw. But, because of that, none of us kids were spanked. Especially me. My dog would've torn someone's arm off if they tried to hurt me. And I'm a Daddy's Girl.

Anywho. We weren't spanked. And I don't practice that even with my dog, much less my child. I think I smacked her hand once for something (not that hard) and we both cried. I felt absolutely horrible.

Time outs and taking the iPad away from her work just fine. P hasn't gone to time out in ages though. She's getting old for that.

I make Penny go to time out tho if she gets in trouble. She has to go lay down somewhere and stay there for awhile.

[OutlawTorn]

Well... Depends on the severity, situation, and how it's handled.

My mother was highly abusive toward me growing up. She had kick the dog anger issues, and I was the dog. If it wasn't being smacked around or beaten with household ojects like shoes, brooms, belts, or cooking utensils, it was the constant mental and emotional sabotage...

She had issues, and I wasn't exactly a little angel. But the majority of the time I had done nothing wrong.

That is abusive. To just punish; hit, yell and walk away. That's damaging to the child's development. But sometimes some kids need a stiff open palm crack upside the head. Kids these days have all the power. There's not a lot of fear and respect these days. We shouldn't 'fear' our parents, but there should be that "Oh shit!" moment when you know you're in trouble.


Look, society is devolving right now. Mankind is becoming weaker and more chaotic then ever. Mental disability like depression and anxiety are running rampent.

You say, "OT, mental illness has existed for untold generations, though?"

EXACTLY!!! Only kids didn't kill themselves because a stranger called them a faggot at school.... Entire farms didn't shut down because dad was too depressed to work today....

We're becoming weaker because we live in a society where emotions and opinions trump everything. Bleeding hearts are everywhere, trying to delay real progress because they want to be heard!! :'( They need answers and help!

Take 90% of us and send us back to live 1000 years ago. The vast majority would have a mental breakdown or kill themselves on week 1.