Ask Zidane

Zidane!
I was curious, where the heck do all of the phoenix downs come from?!?! I know there can be only one true Phoenix, and it seems highly unlikely that one flaming bird can actually produce that many feathers.
- Stupefied Seeq.

Dear Stupefied Seeq, I had to do some research on this question and it turns out that you've been had. In an attempt to raise morale in the city of Midgar, the mayor gave orders for his crack team of scientists to make synthetic feathers for a variety of uses. From fake resurrections to decorative suited for a vase, the mayor made these "panaceas for the undead" fake and readily available. This was truly a sad deal for poor Cloud, since the one phoenix down he needed the most could of been useful back about two discs ago. Sorry that the whole thing with the flower girl didn't work out, Cloud.

Z.

What really happened in the Necrohol of Nabudis that is located in the land of Ivalice? Is it true that some zombies came out and ate everyone's brain turning them into brainless zombies too?
-Ditz

You're partically right, Ditz! However, many of the newspapers in Ivalice fail to mention how harmful and addictive those Ethers really are. Many of the inhabitants of the Necrohol of Nabudis were very active magic-users, and when the "wonder drink" by the name of Ether was created, it was a dream coming true to all of these people. However, the people didn't realize how badly excessive amounts of the mp-restoring drink taxes the brain, causing their Central Nervous System to overload and their memory banks to become more fluid-like, which literally turned their brains into mush. Once the zombies became all brainless, they became extremely lazy and hungry, not unlike the average stoned teenager. This sad story brings up my next point, so don't do drugs, kids!

Hi Zidane,
I was wondering, where you got that smexy tail at and how I could go about getting one too!
- Lady at the fountain.

Dear lady, after doing some recent research in the family history, I found out that my great-great-great (times twenty-two or twenty-three, can't remember) grandfather was a Saiyan warrior, so technically Goku's got nothing on me! You may ask why I don't turn into a giant roid-raging monkey whenever a full moon appears? I'm too lazy to do it. Though if those damned monsters beat me up enough, I get angry and go Super-saiyan and kill everything, so it explains the whole trance ordeal that you may have questioned about.

Thanks for the questions everyone! Until next time, Zidane out!