Making a Friend Out of an Enemy

Obviously, there is a lot of drama going on here. It's the internet. It's bound to happen, because you can't read other people's body language, detect sarcasm, or detect moods. I'm sure almost everyone here has had bad interactions with other people somewhere on the internet. That's pretty much a given.

What I want to know is... How many of you have turned feuding into friendship here on the boards or somewhere on the internet? What brought it to that?



I've had a few here and there. It's been nothing in recent times, really. For those that were here back in 2001/2002, I had a real problem with Drop Them Nikes for a while. I eventually let it go and got along with him. I honestly can't even tell you what I was mad about. Haha. It was a lot easier once I let it go, though.

Well I remember me and Chez didnt always agree on everything when I first joined and I was a bit stubborn and childish when i first joined. So that was probably it but every now and then me and her will talk and we added each other as friends on here. I probably just grew up and we saw past our differences :) shes actually pretty cool when you get to know her :)
I think its just personality crashes thats all. And theres always going to be that one person that knows how to piss you off with the littliest things.

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Originally Posted by Sarah

What I want to know is... How many of you have turned feuding into friendship here on the boards or somewhere on the internet? What brought it to that?

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Wow, I have a few, actually.

OceanEyes and I had a real clashing arguement that lasted for about two years. You're thinking "OMG TWO YEARS?" Totally. We did. But then one day, we appeared to stop caring about all the crap that happened in the past. It was really weird, but we sort of grew closer over time. We read each other journals, I know that, and then eventually began to talk. It's weird, but it was a slow process. I think we were both slightly embarrassed to talk to each other at first as well in case the other gave a bad reaction. I wuv Ally now. She's one of the bestest members in my opinion.

Bunny. Don't know if you remember him. He was constantly saying shit about me and harrassing me about how he didn't like me. I never had a particular problem with him, though. The spam thread bought us together in 2006. I was going through a phase of boredom and used it almost constantly, and Bunny was there. We started talking, then PMing, then MSN. We grew ...close, for lack of a better term. We don't really talk anymore due to time differences, etc, but we used to dislike each other and now we don't.

I'm sure I'll think of some more along the way.

Generally, I don't bother trying to get closer to "enemies" anymore. I have attempted to care about them in some small way, but......feh, I just can't bring myself to actually feel it. Oh well, it's nobodies' loss.
I wouldn't say I hated anybody on the forums. There are a lot of people I dislike, but that's just how I am. I was the same way in college as well.

When I first joined, I didn't like OceanEyes. Mainly because I'd only been here a week and she gave me a warning. Haha, I was a right biacchh... But I have a lot of repect for her now. I know OceanEyes was just doing her job, and I was a total noob who couldn't understand that.

Otherwise... Nope, thats it. I think... *shrugs*

OH YEAH! That thing a little while ago... I won't go into that though. I regret some of the things I said that night... Damnnear came close to washing my mouth out with soap and a scrubby brush... :vomit:

When you think about it, yeah, this is the internet. A great invention, just not a really wise one. But, everyone on here is real. Real people, real lives, real... real. Some people go out of there way to make a point about something (Ok, I'll addmit to being guilty at this... sometimes... :o) whether they be right or wrong. In the case I had with OceanEyes was wrong.

Now... if people don't like you then... fine. Just if you hate someone, don't give 'em a reason to lash out. Thats one thing I've learnt while being on here. ^_^

Winter, who I think is currently Angantyr.

When I first came here.. I don't think either of us did anything wrong, but we disagreed with eachother for a long time. Regarding me, really. He'd pinned me as an attention seeker after reading a thread I'd started asking for advice about how to approach a girl [and good friend] I was trying to ask out without offending her, as I was unsure what sexuality she was.

Basically, he didn't know me at all besides what he'd seen in that thread and saw me as another trendster trying on a sexuality to fit in.

That went on for... Actually, not that long. A couple of months at most, I'd say. There was a bit of fighting and a lot of bad rep thrown around, before figuring out that we were pretty much both on the same side against that kind of crap anyway. *shrug*

That was just evening things out, but it kind of after a while escalated into what I'd like to think of as some sort of friendship.


Otherwise... Nah. I have personality clashes with a few people here, but I'm generally just trying to be civil with them. If it turns into a friendship that's all well and good, but it's not something I'm trying to do.

I didn't see thsi thread until just now. Thankee Anachlirium for bringing it back! Anyhoo...

The first I can remember is Spike/Kevin. We had a bit of a rivalry going for a little while for whatever reason. I think we probably can both be stubborn, and have bad tempers, so that had something to do with it. It escalated into me making some thread where I let off steam at the entire forum, not naming names exactly, but he knew at least part of it was directed at him. We talked about it, we understood one another, and we got along better because of it.

I think there have been a few times where things like that have happened; most recently with Pete. He said a few things that pissed me off over a period of time, and I got after him in some thread, we exchanged PM's that contained heated words... and then a few months later we PM'ed each other and were like, "that was dumb. I am sorry."

That also happened similarly with Danarchy, with Strong Bad as the mediator who made us kiss and make up, pretty much. That was probably not a good idea, as I don't think we really understood each other's points of views as a result, and I realized a few days later that I still harbored some resentment. I think that if he came back, I'd be cool with him now. It was mostly because he was giving a lot of crap to one of my friends, and I didn't like it.

Another one who was kind of an enemy was Bunny (although if anything, he probably thought of me as minor annoyance at the time.) He rubbed me the wrong way for a long time. Like Chez, we also got to know each other more over the spam thread. Also, we both became moderators at the same time, so that probably helped too. He even stated he thought I'd make a good moderator, so that was cool, although I think we had started getting along before that. I think he has lost a lot of interest in forums and internet friends in general, so we don't really talk anymore. I would like talking to him again, though.

So yeah. Most of the time, if the "enemy" is someone who I might be able to get along with if I got to know them, I've been able to work things out with them. If I couldn't, I would inevitably realize that, and stop giving them the benefit of a doubt and just think they are bastards from there on out. I don't think I've really thought of anyone on TFF as an actual "enemy" for some time, though. Some people just piss me off/rub me the wrong way. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

I can't think of anyone I've REALLY despised on here. Everyone's pretty cool in their own way. HOWEVER..

Nathan and SoD used to REALLY tick me off back in the early months of me joining. They talked about smoking pot all the time and I took them as being a bit perverted, mostly because SoD would post those nude icons and then later claim he never had them. Little turd. I also was a little annoyed when people were pairing me up with Nathan at first. Like that damned celtann icon..lol ><. I started liking him some time around then, though.

I can only think of two people... but neither were very serious feuds, in my opinion. I didn't hate either of them, and didn't call them my 'enemies', but... yeah. Alrighty. Lessee...

Gunslinger/The Lionhearted/Corazon De Leon. Or, as I like the call him, the special Lion King of the special Lion World. Yeah... I think you all remember our little arguement from the Summer :o haha. It was really silly, but really funny at the same time, I thought. I'd say we get on pretty well now, though. He's actually pretty awesome. And... the special Lion King of the special Lion World. =D



...This one may come as a bit of a shock, but, Darkwolf :o. I didn't hate him or dislike him, but I can remember in '06, we were posting a lot in the H/WG forum and in one of the threads, he pissed me off. A lot. It had something to do with Ducks... >.> haha. I think I over-reacted a bit, though. But I don't think he remembers what happened, or if he even knows it was me int he thread =P haha. I had a different username at the time, soo... yeah. But now... obviously, you know... look in me signature, and yeah... *goes red* XD.



But yeah. I don't hate anyone on here, but there are a few who really get on my nerves and I've argued with before. I tend to speak my mind a lot, and it results into little feuds with certain members. Hmm...

If I peg someone as a twat, I don't tend to reverse that opinion without some serious encouragement. Nobody I've disliked here has ever given me too much reason to think otherwise.

I've had some argument with some people a few months back, but it was strange, because I don't take anything seriously, so it was kind of like arguing about how awesome I though that other people thought I was, or something along the lines of that. Somewhere in the middle of the argument, though, I kind of forgot what I was arguing about, so I would just say random crap deliberately to piss people off, which didn't necessarily go well for me, considering that I was the procrastinator fueling the entire argument, hence, I was warned (when I probably should have been banned). I never really had any enemies on here, but one of the people that I had problems with (or one of the people who had problems with me) is actually pretty damn cool (that would be Halie).

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Originally Posted by Anachlirium

Winter, who I think is currently Angantyr.

When I first came here.. I don't think either of us did anything wrong, but we disagreed with eachother for a long time. Regarding me, really. He'd pinned me as an attention seeker after reading a thread I'd started asking for advice about how to approach a girl [and good friend] I was trying to ask out without offending her, as I was unsure what sexuality she was.

Basically, he didn't know me at all besides what he'd seen in that thread and saw me as another trendster trying on a sexuality to fit in.

That went on for... Actually, not that long. A couple of months at most, I'd say. There was a bit of fighting and a lot of bad rep thrown around, before figuring out that we were pretty much both on the same side against that kind of crap anyway. *shrug*

That was just evening things out, but it kind of after a while escalated into what I'd like to think of as some sort of friendship.


Otherwise... Nah. I have personality clashes with a few people here, but I'm generally just trying to be civil with them. If it turns into a friendship that's all well and good, but it's not something I'm trying to do.

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This, kind of... personal things going on during that time and reminded me of something that happened to me a few weeks earlier. Actually to be honest she kind of reminds me of myself in a way, I don't normally hold a grudge against somebody unless somebody does something to really upset/annoy/anger me and after that she seemed pretty cool so now we're friends ^^

Outside of that nobody in particular, there's a few people that I talk to a lot that don't like other people I talk to but I try to stay out of it. If somebody annoys me I just avoid them much as possible.

I don't allow things to escalate beyond general dislike and that only extends to people who do one of two things:

Thing 1 Pretending they are better or more than they actually are, in order to help themselves out in self-esteem. Normally this isn't an issue until it leads to the other thing...

Thing 2 Insult my friends.

So long as no one does, mainly the second thing...I will continually to consider them as human beings and worthy of my respect. If they do either of those two things, I will quickly inform them that they have removed themselves from my respect and will proceed to ignore them until they apologize or give me adequate cause for their actions.

So far...I can only think of two people who have offended in the above manners. They are not hated or despised by me... But neither are noticed or respected any longer. As that is likely to not bother either of them, then I pay them little notice. As for making them into friends, that is upon their heads and not mine. I believe that forgiveness is to be given 7X70 and I will never fail to practice what I preach in that regard.

Everyone else here is in my good graces and is loved as either a fellow TFFer or a great friend.


-Sin

I tend to find the worst I generally get are misunderstandings or quarrels based on either my own pride (more often then not quite justified) or just plain based on someone acting like a prick.

I've only found so far one person whose actions (or inaction) cause me to dislike seeing him around, and that's mainly as we used to chat a fair bit and then he just started ignoring me without giving me a reason. No seriously, I *AM* completely ****ing psychic.

There's another person who gets on my nerves, but I've noticed a few others are annoyed with him as well of late, so I don't doubt it'll eventually catch up with him. It's only a matter of time, and maybe then he won't act like he has a wizard stick up his ass no more.

And there's my other problem. I don't care to respect those who've disrespected myself or those I care about and don't seem apologetic at all. Especially when they hide behind a poorly maintained facade of impartiality. :D

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Originally Posted by Govinda

If I peg someone as a twat, I don't tend to reverse that opinion without some serious encouragement. Nobody I've disliked here has ever given me too much reason to think otherwise.

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Actually, I agree. That's pretty much me as well. Not only that, but I used to care who thought I was a twat or didn't like me or bother with me... Now I just don't really give a toss. I do find it strange when people dislike me for no particular reason, but hey, that's not my decision.
There are rare ocassions and rare findings of people that I do enjoy the company of and do become good friends with.

The only thing to change my opinion of somebody from a potential decent member would be to insult somebody I know for something extremely personal, even if I don't particular like or talk to that person. Usually I don't care who likes me or my friends - everybodies' entitled to like or dislike somebody else, so who am I to get involved? I'll stick up for people only ocassionally, if I think they've been treated unfairly, but I'm not going to get involved with somebodies' personal shit unless I want to be their friend.

I have my disagreements here and there. I've never full on hated anybody. If people have their disagreements or whatever, it's no hard feelings, in my opinion. People have bad attitudes one day, I'm not going to put a stamped first impression. People have good days, too, and I think it's better judging the good days, anyways. Lord knows I've got enough issues and bad days, so who am I to judge a person on their worst?

I'm a bit worried for those "who don't give two shits" when it comes to personal ties, though. Not accepting positive or negative reinforcement is a scary thing. I used to have that montra for a little bit, and I found myself caring, even if I denied it. Having to deny something to yourself just brings things to a boil and then you END up taking things personally when you finally crack. It's one thing to ignore the pointless objective commodities, but when it comes to subjective criticism, analyze for a little bit, and if it suits your fancy, take it. If it doesn't, leave it, and move on. There is no reason to vengefully hate on someone for something THEY said. This goes for me, too. If you don't like it, ignore it. Simple as that, especially when you know you meant something a different way and someone says otherwise. You don't need to go around justifying yourself and have it be taken on deaf ears.

Just a note to everyone posting in this thread: It is about who you became friends with. If you've never had problems with anyone, okay, post about it, fine. But if all you want to do is vaguely point out who you dislike and continue to dislike, then this is not the thread for you. Don't go there.


Enemies, huh? Haha well I've certainly had people not like me before. And yeah, Chez and I were on uncool terms for a while, as she said. Glad we're past that, I like this much better. Turns out, she's a pretty great lady.

Um... well, and yeah, there was some tension between myself and Entity, but by the time I realized she didn't like me much, it resolved itself pretty quickly. I appreciated that.

If anyone remembers Yuna, I had an argument with her once. We never became best friends, but she did choose me to moderate the RP section with her (before we all got removed). As far as I was concerned, things were good between us.

And I don't think I ever considered him an enemy, but I used to be intimidated by Spike and thought he would surely be an asshole if I talked to him. Turns out, he's a total sweetheart with a lovely sense of humor. I didn't say that, though. :D

That's really all that comes to mind right now. Unless someone isn't telling me something.

I like to think of myself as a pretty easygoing guy, so I don't think that I have caused drama with many people, and vice versa. There was this one time when Silver and I got into a quarrel about some video games, he tried to disprove me and I tried to do the same, but it got on the verge of a flame fest so I didn't post anymore about it. Eventually after reading a lot of his posts, in a way he kinda grew on me, lol, so after reading one of his journal entries and +repped him for saying something that was really witty or whatnot, and then we became friends.

Haha, just from last night I stayed up until like 1am just talking about video games and random stuff to Nathan. Considering I disliked him only a few months ago, it's funny in a way how we all grow up and change in everything we do. :)