Clint
I invented Go-Gurt.

Headmaster Eastwood, I noticed that President Polk asked you to change your name to Gaywood in response to out recent alliance.
I think we should have a competition in the academy to find who get's to earn the privilege of transforming into your alternate dimension counterpart, since you can't do it yourself.

haha

No offense, but you're a headmaster because you like giving head to moderators.

I forgot how much I like/liked you. I swiftly remembered. I figured you'd like to know that.

I was just saying that you're not the type to get a boner when Gaywood is around, but if you're having a hard time with him and the only solution is an alliance, then by all means.

I thought you didn't swing that way, Headmaster?

Hmm it's possible, but I'm pretty sure that guy is like giant troll. He hasn't warranted enough attention, but he's just coming off as a ____________ (fill in the blank)

Hahaaha. Also, if I could rep you for VMs I would.

You smell like Bananas. I can smell it all the way over here.

You stink.

Thank you. It is an honor.

Now this scales surrounding the body, sounds like a beaut idea! Just so happens I have developed a flexible dermal armor system. It's basically overlapping armored scales, that dissipate the energy of a strike, then protect against any penetration to the soft tissues below. There's a bunch of other complicated stuff that goes along with it, but you don't need to worry about that.

Does that sound like what you're looking for? Let me know and I'll get right on it for you!

Thank you for the job offer. I guess with my lack of knowledge about metal fabrication (although I do own a welder), and my limited grasp on Alchemy (Potion + Potion = Hi-Potion); I must be qualified to teach it at an Academy level.

I love reading the discussions your academy talks about. It is quite the riveting read. My favorite being about the store you've opened recently. With that said, I must again turn the offer down. I think it is best if I stayed on the sidelines and watched the awesomeness occur. In my current situation, I fear that I would be a detriment to the Academy, and not be able to continuously put forth the ideals of your great organization.

Thank you again for the offer.

As long as training is provided. As I have no idea how to be a Prof. of Ape/Marine-Mammal Defense Weaponry. I'd love to! Thanks for considering me, Sir.

I feel you are more qualified to recruit new members, and it would be more appropriate for the headmaster himself to do it. But may I suggest Nikkilinkle for the Prof. of Ape/Marine-Mammal Defense Weaponry position.
It might also be worth trying to recruit one Michael Swayne, who is another valued individual and may be intrigued by either subject of alchemy or metal fabrication.