Toby:
Ladies and gentlemen,
May I have your attention please
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair,
to discover your pillow is covered with hair,
or what not should be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle, marvelous, rare
Gentleman, you are about to see something
that rose from the dead, on the top of my head
T'was Pirelli's miracle Elixir,
That's what did the trick, sir
True, sir, true
Was it quick sir?
Did it in a tick, sir
Just like an elixir, ought to do
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny guaranteed
Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir
'Tis unique
Rub a minute, stimulatin', innit?
Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!
Sweeney Todd:
Pardon me, ma'm, what's that awful stench?
Mrs. Lovett:
Are we standing near an open drench?
Both:
Pardon me, sir what's that awful stench?
Are we standing near an open drench?
Toby:
Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Anything will slick, sir, soon sprouts curls
Try Pirelli's, when they see a fixir
You can have your pick, sir,
Of the girls
Wanna buy a bottle misses?
Sweeney Todd:
What is this?
Mrs. Lovett:
What is this?
Sweeney Todd:
Smells like piss
Mrs. Lovett:
Smells like, ew!
Both
What is this? This is piss. Piss with ink.
Both:
I wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear
Toby:
Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir
Sweeney Todd:
Keep it off your boots, sir, leaks right through
Toby:
You're scared Pirelli's is usable and of it,
Ladies seem to love it
Mrs. Lovett:
Flies do too
