Bogus Inventions/Products

[Cyanist]

So I was hangin' out with my brothers again (the beginning to every good story I know) and some of them are ill-disposed toward baths. The nastiest of them suggested we bottle the stench and sell it. The product shall be on store shelves in time for the Christmas rush.

"I'm Just Saiyan" a refined natural scent By cyanosuke.
Bogus products here, please!

[Cyanist]

mittens are childish, gloves are refined. Why haven't we got socks with individual toes yet?

[Michael Swayne]

My sister has lots of those. I believe they're called "toe socks". In fact, here is a picture of toe socks.

[Cyanist]

Cool. But where's your invention?
A video game controller with a cup holder attached.

[Cyanist]

Princess Padme hairdo wigs "for the girl who never has enough attendants."

[catnip22]

egg shampo just wash it in your hair and it will smell and taste good all day it is so good you can just eat it out of the tube

[Order]

Hairmetal-dubstep hybrid. Replace all synth solos of dub with hairguitar solos. Replace all hairmetal drums with dubstep bass.

[SuperSabin]

I would make a Helen Keller soundboard app for iphone/android devices!

[Cyanist]

A machine that infuses coffee aroma into toast.

[catnip22]

Glow in the dark pizza yum yum yuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm

[Cyanist]

The newest fashion fad: Kitty wigs.

[Cyanist]

From the minds that brought you the holocaust punch glove and the cantaloupe pants, that's right, the geniuses at "Dump-a-chump" tm are prepared to bring you a once in a lifetime offer.
Ditsy girl: "Hanna, isn't that Harold - the guy who took you on that horrible date last night?"
Hanna: "Oh no! it is him. How do I get him to leave me alone?"
Sales guy with English accent who somehow knows these two ladies: "Hanna, you never have to worry about that again because of this revolutionary new product. It's called the Pimple-slap. You just take it from your purse, slap it on your face and you have a brand new batch of pimples. And now, a limited offer, if you call in the next 30 minutes, we will send you two free adhesive warts. a $90 dollar offer, completely free! And remember, girls these warts can go on anywhere, even the DMV!" Order now.

[seanb]

Molestorizer: the worlds first pedophile deterrent, in a convenient pocket sized spray can.

[Cyanist]

You mean like mace? I came up with an electrical prod that attaches to a person's shoe, activates when the person clicks their heels (repeat after me, "there's no place like home") just kick the molester and presto, you've got a fried molester.

[seanb]

You mean like mace?

No, you apply it like you would deodorant in the morning. And it will keep those pesky molestorizers at bay, all day.

[Cyanist]

Doss eet emit a smell? I simply maust know, how doss eet wourk?
Announcing: the spender-lace! It acts as a necklace, but doubles as suspenders! "the greatest invention since lookin' good began. Yeah."

[pixergirl]

Ladies and Gentlemen! i bring you! The AAFSP! The Artificial Armpit Fart Sound Producer! just place it under your underarm and let loose some of the most authentic-sounding armpit flatulence you've ever heard! Great for entertaining and folds up for easy storage in your purse or oversized pockets!! order now and get a JUNIOR EDITION free!

[Cyanist]

I want it! I must have it! How much?

Gather 'round, y'all, (you, snot-nose kid, are TOO close) and I shall introduce you to the next popular fad of the century. THIS is Handy Phizzletm! Yes, sir, the Handy Phizzletm you've heard of from your grandmother is BACK! Thrown to the wayside by jealous competing companies, this product was outlawed and banned - yes, BANNED (cover your child's ears, miss) by the well-greased authorities, but the new improved recipe has been proven not only safe, but effective in the disintegration of, YES ma'am, of toe hair! That's right, sir, no longer will you avoid the beach. With this invention you can arrive barefoot in style, with all the confidence of your hairless youth. Buy ten bottles for $299.99 and receive not one, not two, but SEVEN toe hoodies, so your boys can go slummin' in da hood.

CALL NOW!

[Ventus's Girl]

KH glasses, you put em on and everyone you see is either a nobody, heartles, organization 13, or final fantasy charecter

(Comes in set with a fplastic keyblade, and KH soundtrack)

[Cyanist]

O_oh, I want those!

Have you ever found yourself depressed and sitting at home because the weather doesn't match your wardrobe? Do you have thousands of sun hats you'd planned to wear before you moved to Alaska? And just look at that multitude of black gangsta hoodies you purchased before you found out you lived in Africa! Well, pout no more! The new handy Sky-illizer2000tm Is HERE! Just pull it out of your nifty ten pound carrying attache, hold directly vertical for thirty seconds and voila! You have gorgeous weather for that daisy print sun-dress, or deep, foreboding gloom clouds for that stunning Voldemort robe.
CALL NOW! Warning: do not use during lightning storm unless you're a scientist.
Keep away from children under twelve and the elderly over twenty-three.