YAY FOR PARODIES!!! *falls down*
Yeah, so I totally made this dude up just for TM's fight. Beautimous.
Name: Count Dick von Constantinoplestein
Age: 169 ¾
Race: Superhuman! {cue Star Wars theme for no apparent reason}
Height: 5'17" (that's 6'5" for you un-super people)
Weight: 8431374 centigrams (186 lbs, 84 kg)
Eyes: Yes, he has them. They're dark yellow.
Hair: Some kid attacked him with a razor, so it's gone
Clothing: None! *whistle* Kidding... >_<
Upper Body: Brown leather jacket that he made all by himself that one time when he killed that cow a long time ago when he slaughtered a cow and made it his lunch that one time when he was hungry way back when. Oh yes, no shirt, gotta show those cut superhuman abs for the ladies.
Lower Body: Red tights! But he keeps those under his slashed bluejeans, because he thinks he's cool like that. And he is. Yes, he's so much cooler than you.
Armor: I don't think he believes in it. But he's stupid.
Main Class: Swordsman
The only difference is the type of sword...
Sub Class: Dark Knight
See, he likes it when it's dark outside. What? Knight? Who said anything about that? I thought you said NIGHT!!!
Weaponry: A light sabre!
Unfortunately, it can't slice and dice quite like the ones in the movies... or can it? {cue Jeopardy theme} Yes Trebek, yes it can. Think of it as a fancy sword... with LASERS! But it's really just a fancy sword.
Magic: He's got a freaking light sabre!
Really, why does he need magic? He's extreme!!!
Bio: Umm... maybe he came from another planet. Like Krypton! But wait, that's Superman's planet, and Count Dick isn't invincible. He hasn't earned that Pokébadge yet.
Something new yet again. Face it, Vincent's busy.
Name: Theon of Skiathos, Greece
Age: 1,371
Race: Enchanted Human
Ethnicity: Mediterranean European (relatively tanned)
Height: 8ft 5in (256.5cm)
Weight: 328 pounds (149kg - 23.4 stone)
Eyes: very light brown
Hair: dusty blonde with natural highlights, cut in a bowl to his ears
Please reference the last paragraph of the bio for an explanation of Theon's age, as well as a list of any major differences between himself and regular humans. Of course, it would be nice if you read the whole thing.
Description:
Upper Body: Theon wears nothing but a single white armband around his right bicep which stands out against his finely bronzed skin and muscular frame. His chest, back, and arms are littered with battle scars, some much worse than others. Over his heart lies his most dreaded scar, that which would have taken his life if not for Horae's blessing. Three inches wide and still half an inch deep (despite centuries of healing), the blackened scar is the weakest point on Theon's body. A matching scar two inches wide and a quarter inch deep on his back is the exit wound of the broadsword which pierced his chest.
Lower Body: Theon's heavy white pants are of an unknown fabric. They shroud many more unsightly scars from spears, arrows, blades, and magic. Though his legs are hidden, they are highly muscular, and can be seen most often during a leaping attack. He also wears lightweight black leather boots which are worn from a few decades of use.
Armor: While Theon wears no body armor, he uses a heavy mythril shield which has seen nearly as many battle scars as he has. The shield boasts three centuries of use and has yet to fail him. The mythril shield attaches to his left arm by two leather straps around his forearm. Theon also wears the fabled Dragoon Gauntlet on his right arm. The full extent of its powers is unknown, but legend states the wearer's strength and defensive skills will increase upon each use of the glove.
Main Class: Dragoon Knight
A true master of the elite, Theon has taught many generations of warriors the art of dragon-hunting. Theon has found a few exceptional students, such as Vincent Cooper (see the Vincent profile), who were ready for many advanced techniques, like the trademark dragoon jump. Theon's jumping is unmatched, and for many decades, rumors spread that the ancient man could fly.
Sub Class: White Monk
Theon studied for a decade in his youth with the Tibetan monks in the prime of their existance. Centuries ago, the Tibetan monks were the purest of warriors, and from them Theon learned many of their mystical attacks. He used these skills to his advantage when he took up the art of the dragoon, thus enhancing his abilities in both class categories.
Weaponry: a heavy broadsword most days, sometimes a lance
Unlike most dragoons, Theon's primary weapon is a sword. Hand-crafted on his own time, he created his broadsword's blade from a vast collection of dragon scales and it is his most prized possession. The strength of the blade is nearly unmatched. It emits a very dull white glow, only noticeable in darkness. The blade is just over three feet long and nearly eight inches wide near the tip. The last six inches of the blade curve upward, leaving a sharp, hook-like point at the end. The color of the blade is a deep burgundy. The hilt is pure silver, and the handle is petrified oak wrapped in brown leather. The sword is nearly 1000 years old.
His lance is rather simple in comparison. The five-foot staff has a two-foot blade on each end. The staff is made of pure mythril, and each blade is perfectly straight, created from a dark mythril. The two-tone lance was Theon's second weapon (a simple rapier was his first), and it was crafted by Evzen of Skiathos. The lance is more than 1300 years old.
Perhaps the most lethal of all weaponry were Theon's legs. Intense dragoon training and mastery of the Leopard style of Shaolin Kung Fu were undoubtedly the cause for this, but Theon didn't mind. Whether armed or not, he was always ready for a tough fight.
Magic: limited white magic
Though he knows no curative magic, Theon has crude control over a few Holy attacks. His use of the magic was much greater for the first centuries of his life, but its intensity weakened as his interests shifted. A weak "dispel" will ward away most poisons, but not all. Skills such as "exorcize" have become less necessary, though if he happens across an undead, Theon can still cast the spell and usually expel the spirits. Spells such as "holy bomb" and "holy arrow" are his only means of attacking besides the physical -- and they've been weakened greatly. Theon's use of magic is very rare, and sometimes proves to be completely ineffectual.
Bio:
Theon traveled to the mountainous land of Tibet at the age of 35. His mentor had recently returned from an establishment of monks and told him of the things he'd learned. Theon arrived, mentioning his mentor's name, and was immediately taken to the head of the clan. His training was rough, but he mastered the basic and advanced skills within the first year. Many styles of Shaolin Kung Fu were now at his disposal. The Leopard was one he'd especially picked up on. He trained directly under the head of the clan for the next five years. Upon saving the head of his Tibetan monk clan at the age of 43, Theon was hailed as a gift from heaven in the land of Tibet for many decades. However, he did not stay in the eastern land for long -- he returned to the Grecian Empire just two years later. Four years passed, and Theon had taken up the art of the dragon slayers. The ancient texts intrigued him, but studying alone was not much help.
The answer came to him in a dream, three months before his fiftieth birthday. The dream, fueled by the gods, portrayed a man living in Skiathos, the town of his birth. The very next day, Theon headed off on the thirty kilometer journey to his hometown. The man in question was named Evzen, a nobleman of Skiathos. Finding him was simple, but speaking with him was another matter. Long story short, Theon had himself a new mentor just days before his birthday.
Theon's next birthday was one he would never forget. At three in the morning, he was awakened by a sudden chilling sensation. Before him stood Horae, the goddess of the seasons. She recognized his purity and his maturity, as well as his passion for life and his willingness to protect. Prime example? Tibet. Horae told Theon that she had been granted permission from Zeus himself to bestow a wish of her choice upon the aging man. Horae chose immortality, and had arrived to offer Theon her gift, a gift to see every season for as long as the earth existed. He graciously accepted.
-----
Theon can jump for hours on end. Yeah, that's right, the excessive dragoon training and mastery has its perks. You take a fight to the air and he'll be certain to follow.
Though immortal, Theon can still be greatly injured. The only advantage he has over the mortal humans is his inability to die. (And his outrageous strength.) Mortal wounds will afflict him for years, as his heavenly protection only prohibits death. Theon's scars are evidence of such wounds. His height became greater through the centuries -- a true testament to his godliness. The only sign of Theon's age can be found in his eyes, which shine with experience.
Oh, and you might recognize the Dragoon Gauntlet from the SNES version of FFIV. Or, for you PS1 gamers, it's the Dragon's Gauntlet. In either case, it's Kain's.
And the Greek root of the name Theon is "godly." Just so you know.
Evzen is "noble," hence the reason he's the nobleman Theon went to.