To What Extent Should a Person Follow A More Socially Acceptable Path Over What They Feel Is Best?

[Furore]

I was originally going to post this in GC, but figured it could be intellectual.
That said it will quite possibly be one of the most opinionated threads of all time - and in this case it might actually be a good thing.

Picture this: You have two choices. The first is the choice that would be considered normal to do. You risk nothing, everyone respects you still as you've done what any would. And there's a chance that which you do is tried and tested. Then you have a second choice. That which you feel is the better course of action. Depending on the scenario, you mightn't be risking much, or you could be risking a lot - particularly the impressions others have of you. Your rewards could be any number of things depending on what you've thought up.

This is where the discussion starts. Would you ever choose the second choice? Think of several scenarios following those lines of varying importance including those highly unlikely - if you ever would choose the second choice, where would you draw a line (if you'd even draw one at all)? Perhaps you could even use some of the scenarios you thought up to better explain your thought processes.

Mine will come later, likely the first chance I get a full hour or so to type up an answer without interruption.

[Tiffany]

Not gonna lie, this kind of confused me.

Anyways, kinda seems like a "choose your own adventure" book. Did anyone else read those? But in all honestly IMO this is what life is about.

I have choices like that every day. Especially while I was working. When I was at the factory I could either a) Be nice, keep my trap shut and hope to eventually climb the corporate ladder or b) Be nice outwardly, lie through my teeth and backstab and use other people's backs as my ladder.

Just kind of how things go in my views.

But again, I don't know what to picture "this" as. It kind of sounds like some epic life altering decision? But its early, I haven't finished my first cup of coffee yet (which I should learn to do so before posting) and I am just not with it enough to try and figure something out.

Sorry.

[Sinister]

Is it possible you drew inspiration from another thread, dear sir? Just asking. lol

Anyway...

I have to be careful here and I have trained to be careful. I have always elected the path of least confrontation on a social level. That may make a lesser person seem wishy washy and plastic, but I wrap it in the disguise of apathy or confusion. What I do is what I think is right, what I say is what I think people want to hear or won't frustrate them. Trying to reconcile this ethos is a full-time job but it's kind of fun.

I'm a private person so my opinions and how I act on them are no one's business but my own. When in a discussion that I'm unfamiliar with or that seems to be "controversial", I take the philosophical high road and tinker with heretos and whyfors until the original question is ridiculous and moot. It sometimes ashames the instigator and it keeps my views completely shadowed. This keeps me from being horribly predictable.

Now if I feel I can get away with something, it's always nice to snipe off a few shots that will land where aimed.


As for action, I ALWAYS do what I think is best. That is a horribly vague statement and can entail anything from being philanthropic and heroic to being selfish and careful, which is exactly why I chose the statement. Does this make me the universe's only self-confessed sociopath? I think not.

-Sin

[Furore]

And now my answer. I've had a few people mention how vague the thread is - it is, and that's quite intentional. I figured an introspective thread might be interesting (intellectual, but not leaving much for people to argue over - it's designed solely to make one think critically about their reasoning so they better understand themselves). Sin, I didn't consciously get the idea from another thread, though it is possible one inspired the idea in me and I've forgotten it.

I don't tend to follow a more socially acceptable path unless it's the path I would have followed because I believed it was best. With exceptions. Say I was faced with a decision with two obvious choices; one that I felt was best, and one that was what I'd see as being the socially acceptable but following the one I felt was best would mean ruining an opportunity later on a more important decision, then I very well might pick the more socially acceptable path. A real example would be losing the attention of an authoritative body I didn't agree with by playing nice until such a time arose as my actions might actually be able to effectively undermine such a body (particularly if the lack of focus on me would leave my actions more or less undetected). Following this strategy can create a good 'trojan horse' of sorts inside an organisation - just get someone capable in data entry, security or any similar role, have them act like a model employee until they get a chance at something big, and then you're left with a wide opening and less suspicion afterwards. My priorities are always the first thing I consider and I've very rarely been nervous of confrontation, even if I will sometimes avoid it when it could effect other things I prioritise. I am a firm believer that there's a time and a place for some things. I suppose modesty in some ways can also motivate a more socially acceptable path for me as well, but that would also fall into me thinking a modest path was the better (for me as an individual).

Thankfully my strongest motivators when making a decision generally lead to me making decisions that are more or less socially acceptable (even if some lesser ones are generally the opposite). My highest priorities are generally keeping myself and my closest friends as well off as possible, humanity in general and animals as well off as possible where it isn't too detrimental to my closest friends (which makes it very easy for me to justify action against others I deem a thread to people I care about) and undermining anything that would go against my liberties or anyone else's. That last part might sound a little vague, but it would take me forever to go into detail there. To simplify, I do very well believe people should be able to do whatever they wish when it doesn't negatively effect another in any capacity other than causing them unintended offence.

[SOLDIER #819]

When it comes to the average human in today's society it isn't all that necessary to distinguish between the "more socially accepted path" and what they "feel is best." Chances are they're one in the same. Even if someone feels that society as a whole isn't the most moral place around and may have its flaws, they will probably choose that it's for the greater good for both themselves and others.

People like being able to live among other humans and benefit from the result of teamwork. There are very few people that would go into self-imposed isolation for any prolonged period of time. A person doesn't have to be particularly lawful to gain something, either. Even if the work is illegal (such as with organized crime), they still follow a preset set of rules so as to avoid endangering themselves. Someone that breaks all the rules won't survive too long in this day and age.

Taking risks and "living the dream," for instance, is usually pretty acceptable. The action or result may not be in line with current social norms, but it seems that by nature those are constantly changing. There probably isn't one person who follows them to the letter. That in itself may be outside of social norms anyway.

So, given everything, what one "feels is best" is usually what is socially acceptable (or perhaps socially tolerable). This holds even if that "society" is a subset of a greater society. The world around us is what helps shape us, after all.

[Bleachfangirl]

Call me stupid, but I'm still confused. How about I make some sense of it in my own little head, and you see if that fits what you're trying to ask?

SITUATION:
Guy has a nice office job. One day, Boss tells Guy he needs him to do a presentation to the rest of the Boss Guys about a plan their group had been working on for a while. The problem is that Guy has been against the group's decision and planning this whole time because he feels that another course of action would be best. He's only been going along with the plan so far because no one else has supported him. Guy has two choices:

[Socially Acceptable] choice is to do what the Boss says and dish out a plain presentation on the moderate and safe plan the group has been working out for a while.

[What He Feels Is Best] choice is to make a presentation based on his own plan without telling anyone else in the group and present that at the meeting of Boss Guys instead. If they like it, he looks like a rockstar and probably gets a promotion to head the project. If they don't like it, his whole group gets smashed to hell for coming up with a retarded plan.

Is that kind of what you're saying? If it is, I totally have an answer.

Follow what is socially acceptable until you can't stand it anymore. Sometimes, what you think isn't best, even if you think it is in your own conceited little head. People always think they know what's best and get hella stubborn when someone tries to tell them otherwise. But generally, if a whole bunch of people think you're wrong, you're probably wrong. And if you can't get over that, listen to their reasons and and actually LISTEN instead of thinking "No, there's only a small chance of that happening if we go my way".

BUT, if what you believe is true and you have reasonable evidence for it outside of your own head, then go for what you think is best. I just think it's best to go whichever way is safest and most certain. Screwing up is never fun, after all.

[Heartless Angel]

I won't post nearly the text wall as everyone else has, sorry. To me this just isn't all that complex of a question. It's always beter to do what's right, rather than what is liked. Only real limit I'd set on that is what society ALLOWS. Like in some cases even if I felt murder was right, I'd probably refrain form doing it, just because I'm not too stoked about its consequences. But outside of that, I'll do what I feel is right almost every time.

[che]

You need to decide whether the socially acceptable route or "the best" route is gonna have the greater outcome overall. Only then will you be making a correct decision.

Sorry for the short post, but that is all I feel needs to be said.

[Jin]

When it comes to the average human in today's society it isn't all that necessary to distinguish between the "more socially accepted path" and what they "feel is best." Chances are they're one in the same.

This.

People often have a flawed conception of society when they think about things like this. They act A) as if society is homogeneous - that there is only one society - and B) that they transcend society and are able to look at it clearly from the outside without being a part of it. This isn't the case. One cannot objectively judge society, nor can one remove him or herself from it because, wrapped in culture as it is, society's hold grips an irremovable and essential part of who we are.

To say that one is turning away from society and choosing his or her own direction is an imaginary accomplishment. Society helped formulate the very idea of escaping its grasp. Media, popular culture and the arts are filled with various expressions of the idea that conformity to the norm is a shallow and constraining practice and that self-established morality is a noble goal. This is so prevalent that it has nearly, if not already, become the norm itself. This concept is not only ubiquitous within today's culture, but has existed for quite a long time now, going back to the 19th century if one uses the most conservative of criteria.

What we're dealing with is a struggle between multiple cultures for hegemony, the way cultures always do. The 'norm' being referred to in this thread, I believe, is the hegemonic culture, its defiance, the counterculture struggling to overtake it (and gaining much ground). I apologize for arguing semantics, but I think it's important to get a deeper view of what is happening behind the scenes. To reject what society thinks is right and normal itself is a concept created and support by society, just a different part of it. We're all shaped by our culture and our society, there's no escaping it. Even when we try the very opposite of fitting in, we conform to traces of morals and ideals society and our culture has planted within us from day one.

Sorry, I know, I ruin things.

[Heartless Angel]

I wouldn't say you've ruined anything at all. Clarifying the question and truly understanding it is the first step to finding a good answer to it. Though I agree that norm was referring to hegemonic culture, it's good to throw that out there just to make sure we're all on the same page when answering. Great post, I'd gives thanks again if I could.

[Furore]

I'm currently half asleep, so don't be surprise if I make and miss a stupid mistake or three.

To clarify, I was really seeking answers showing where people's priorities lie - with the paths they feel are best for them or with the paths they see most following (to them, the most socially acceptable) - it's almost completely subjective. I do expect variation as I notice some people do tend to compromise a lot with their actions when they don't want to cause a fuss, overs prefer to rock the boat excessively. Neither strikes me as necessarily better or worse than the other though I'm really wondering about is the processes in people's heads as they go either way (and some seem to go either way depending on the situation).

Bleachfangirl had the right idea.