Views on Marriage and Sex: Discuss

[vevuxking102]

I am wondering, do any of those among you believe sex must be saved for after you are married? Or do you think it's fine to do it before marriage? I proscribe to the latter, because despite the propaganda that "christians" in America try to pump in peoples heads, sex before marriage is not forbidden in the Bible, but putting the Bible aside, what do you guys think?

[ChloChloAriadne]

..No. I don't think sex should be saved for after marriage.

I find it.. Oddly pointless, to be honest. No, I don't think sex should be just given away.. It's always so much nicer to do it with somebody you actually love, and the repurcusions of random sex.. Can be bad, as I unfortunately found out the hard way.

Although I believe that if you are completely aware and safe, it can be done between anybody.. I don't think it has to represent and express love, I believe that it can be done for fun between friends, as long as there's safety measures in there to make sure neither of you get hurt.

Depends on what type of person you are. Personally.. Marriage doesn't urk me. But I far prefer to have sex with somebody I actually love.

[vevuxking102]

I personally find marriage sort of pointless myself.

[ChloChloAriadne]

I personally find marriage sort of pointless myself.

Um.. Hun, you'll get banned for spam like that. It doesn't really pertain to the topic and it's.. Little. One liners get warned.

Anyway, on that..

I think marriage is absolutely lovely, to be honest. And not even so much as a religious thing.. Just as tradition. That kind of ceremony.. It's juce nice, you know?

That said.. I just do not think it has anything to really do with sex. As far as I'm concerned, sex and marriage are two different aspects of a relationship and don't need to mix.. I think as long as that level of trust and safety is there, sex can take place. *shrug*

[vevuxking102]

It does pertain to the topic, which I started, and I was adding that I personally view marriage as pointless. The topic was asking what people think about marriage, and if you think it is useful in the context of sex, which I simply added a statement. Sorry if I didn't edit my original post to add that, but it is within the topic.

I think marriage is absolutely lovely, to be honest. And not even so much as a religious thing.. Just as tradition. That kind of ceremony.. It's juce nice, you know?

No, I don't know. Explain how it being a tradition makes it nice.

That said.. I just do not think it has anything to really do with sex. As far as I'm concerned, sex and marriage are two different aspects of a relationship and don't need to mix.. I think as long as that level of trust and safety is there, sex can take place. *shrug*

Could you explain further?

[Phantom]

Well like Froggie stated saving sex for marriage is pointless. I could careless what some age old book says, it's perfectly natural to have sex when your ready to have sex. "Self-help" is also natural. Sometimes you have urges and if you act of those urges be sure to play it safe and use protection. To be honest Marriage is kinda overrated nowadays. I agree that some and I mean "some" marriages are happy occasions but to be honest marriages aren't really binding, especially when divorce papers are your anti-out. And anyway the Boyfriend or girlfriend whatever factor is true to itself kinda of like marriage accept your not forced to be with your mate forever.





My boyfriend and I don't need to get married because we already love each other and made a promise to each other to always be there no matter what. We don't need rings to bind us or some kiss to make it official, it comes from deep down, in the heart. Hopefully the new president will approve gay marriage in every state, not just a few like the past presidents did, but it seems Senator Obama supports gay marriages, I'm not sure about Hilary but I need to research her more. So my verdict? Have sex whenever you ****ing want it, life is to short so get your freak on before you lose it when you get ancient heh. As for Marriage I still find it overrated especially as long as divorce papers exist xD. Chow

[Che]

It seems most people here share common ideas on marriage. My view isn't too far off. I see marriage as a celebration of combining two people forever. I don't believe in spending tons and tons of your moolah on the wedding. Yes, it should be nice. With all the money people spend on weddings, it could be easily used to invest in something.

Marriage means to me, you're mine and I'm yours. Also, if you're gonna be together forever, might as well get married and save money on taxes eventually. It's just logical, right?

[Unknown Entity]

Firstly, I think marriage is a waste of time unless you are really really sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Marriage is a way of proving love, and so is sex. So, what is the point of proving your love by marriage, if you are just gonna prove it again by having sex? One word - OVERKILL! This is how most marriage break up, lol! Because of OVERKILL! No one wants lovey mushy stuff all the time, - being clingy... ew! Give eachother some space, lol!

So I believe sex can be something to enjoy before marriage, to save on the OVERKILL later... if you get what i'm saying... you do get what i'm saying, right? Oh well, I messed up someplace then...

[Chez Daja]

I don't think sex needs to be saved til after marriage.

But I don't agree with casual sex. I don't think it should be with just a friend, or just anybody. It offends some people, but I do find casual sex extremely tacky. That's my own opinion. I ge no kicks out of people having sex just for fun with some randomer. I've had one sexual partner, of course I'm not really open to casual sex. I hate the thought of "sex buddies" or friends who have sex, and why? Because not only does the thought make me feel ill, but most of the "friends" that do it with each other end up in very complicated situations afterwards.

So sex before marriage is okay by me. I personally save myself for love. I don't need to get married, but I'd like to someday. As long as I love my partner and vice versa, I don't really need marriage.

Also, who do you know these days that has actually saved themselves until after marriage? I don't think I know anybody... Just goes to show you how times have changed.

P.S Kilo, I totally agree with the money thing. Why the **** do people have massive weddings and spend all their money? I'd much rather elope and spend a few days in Italy.

[Dimi]

Personally, I think the whole saving yourself part is a personal choice of someone. It could either a morally or a religious decision. Either way, that's something I never could or even try to do. We need people like that especially with sexually transmitted diseases and such. I find people like that smart and admirable for their decision.

The whole "sex buddies" with your friends can lead to a bad thing. It leads to akward situations as Chez had mentioned and perhaps even **** up your friendship with that person. If you're looking for a relationship apart from sexual intentions in a friend then yeah, I say go for it. Based on personal experience, its something I would really need to think about with a friend.

Aside from that, I say to each its own. The thought of marriage itself gives me goosebumps and not the good kind. For some reason and my statement could be inaccurate but to me its like everything's all find when you're in a relationship with someone. You guys are laughing. You guys are having a good time. There's communication and the sex is most likely good. But everything that you have in that relationship with that person seems to go downhill after you get married.

And back then, marriage was a really good thing. You literally could last a lifetime with your other significant half. Today, its hard to do that for whatever reason! People get bored easily. People cheat. Relationships just crumble. It still confuses me the difference between marriages today and back then. But if anything, I say religion was the card dealer in it in the past then it is now. But aside from religion, I say its up to yourself.

[Unknown Entity]

"F**k Buddies" is the term we use at school. Alot of the snobby/yuppie kids have them, and brag about then ALL the time... Its kinda gross, and desperate. This is not love, and probablt will end up in a sticky spot. What it shows is that all you want is just the sex, and that is sooo not what a relationship is about.

oh, and tell me what happens if a pregnancy comes by because of "F**k buddies"? Just have an abortion? No f**king way! If you were happy to have sex with this person, you should be happy to have kids with this person!

[vevuxking102]

I myself have never had a "****" buddy as you people call them, but I've never had anyone seriously close to me, and the few people I've slept with I have no serious connection too. I don't think that's a bad thing, as there's not really much to sex if you think about it.

[Meier Link]

i am with the general populous on this one, sex before is ok.

being married i obviously am on the ok side with that too. as for why i got married is not a simple thing to explain. there are many reasons why call it my sign of devotion to a very religious woman. i do hope i stay with my wife forever, but we all know **** happens so i dont even want to start an argument with that and i will leave it as that.

alot of what i read is that marriage is just a peice of paper, that i strongly disagree with, to me it is a promise to the one that i love that i will forever be faithful, truthful and loving. sure i dont need that peice of paper to prove it but it is a wonderful comidity to show.

now back to the sex part, me being who i am, i have been pretty promiscous in my time, lets just call it "sampling the water". i find that in this day in age sex plays into everything, even marrage. why wait to get it done only to find out he/she sucks in bed, through out the years i have found that bad sex can lead to bad relationships. a couple of the partners i have been with sucked and in turn i was turned off by them which lead to arguments because "i didnt want them the same way they wanted me".

humans feed off the attention and the affections that sex bring along with them, even if there is no emotions envolved with the process there is still that great feeling of being wanted when it comes to **** buddies, B/F's. G/Fs and spouces.

so to state that me and my wife had/have a great sex life would be an understatment. it has brought us closer. and go figure the best lover of them all (IMO) would be the one i ended up marrying!?!

ok i am done rambleing

[Rainbow4vr]

first off let me start by saying im gay so my views are based off of that.

ive had a few f**k buddies but it never works out cuz someone always winds up wanting more out of the situation and then it becomes awakward.

im a bit jaded on the whole marriage topic. i was married once (not legally of course) but it ended horrible. we dont even speak anymore. i know there is a huge issue with gay marriage should it or shouldnt it happen. my opinion is sure but im not gonna go all crazy to fight for a piece of paper. i feel if you love each other that much, do u really need that peice of paper that is suppose to make it official? i think it ur heart that makes it official not a paper. there is also that whole tax thing too but come on people stop being so shallow over money! lol

[ChloChloAriadne]

It does pertain to the topic, which I started, and I was adding that I personally view marriage as pointless. The topic was asking what people think about marriage, and if you think it is useful in the context of sex, which I simply added a statement. Sorry if I didn't edit my original post to add that, but it is within the topic.



No, I don't know. Explain how it being a tradition makes it nice.



Could you explain further?

...Calm down and get over yourself, Jenn.

I didn't say that it being a tradition is nice.. It's a nice ceremony, really. Family gets together, everybody dresses nicely, two people proclaim their love for eachother, all party. What's not nice about that? Call me cheesy, but I think it's quite beautiful. And there are very many variations to weddings.. A break in the traditional wedding is always nice. I just think it's a lovely idea.


Also, nevertheless that was spam.. A one liner, and I mean.. Look at that paragraph you just wrote there about it NOT being spam. You could've put that there. And if you're so sorry, delete the one liner and edit it into the first post.

It's quite hard to further explain what I meant.. But I do think I did an adequete job. Marriage is one thing. Sex is another. I think when and in what stage of a relationship sex takes place has nothing to do with marriage, and holding off or not until marriage will have no negative or positive effect.

[Momo Mastermind]

Marriage is a lovely thing indeed... err, haha; let me rephrase that: The idea of marriage is lovely indeed. I understand this has to do with sex and marriage, but I feel the need to insert this in here. I am really annoyed by people who try to shove the whole "gay rights" thing into every conversation, but seeing as how it pertains directly to me and my personal view on marriage would (obviously) have to come from a homosexual stand-point, here goes.

People claim the sanctity of marriage would be destroyed if homosexuals married.... but people are ****ing the whole sanctity of marriage themselves without any help! Divorce, divorce, divorce- then comes child support fees and legal matters. Divorce is obscenely high in this country and it's disgusting! Marriage in this day and age is the next expected step after being in a relationship with someone for "X" amount of years. It's not as high and mighty as anyone makes it out to be anymore. Then the bridezillas scare the living shit out of me, for real!

Then we have to consider sex with marriage [as I have just defined marriage as a ridiculous tradition because it has been destroyed by [at least] American society]. Sex comes before marriage in almost every aspect with almost everybody. Not to mention that for myself, Phantom, and whoever else is a homosexual living in a state that bans gay marriage [Wait, Phantom, do you live in NJ? If so then you're fine, lol] we would basically have to wait until the government says "Okay now, we have discussed this matter for sooo many years and have decided that yes, you too can be treated like the rest of us and marry" which would then basically be saying "You can now have sex without feeling morally convicted." And I for one will not wait for the government to say when I can start making love to my other half.

I will say this though, the idea of waiting until marriage is extremely lovely and valiant; but it's just a waste of time and health in this day and age. Marriage is not as glorious and amazing as it sounds [or should be] so just be extremely careful who you give your body up to and who you share the connection with. It's something special either way [or at least should be].