The Seekers of Illumination

New members? Awesome. Welcome guys. ^^

I have a few questions that would make an excellent discussion: Trust.

I'm sure trust is a big issue when having a relationship with someone. Whether if it's a friend, a best friend, a relative, a boyfriend/girlfriend. Pretty much everyone that you talk to. But sometimes when you trust someone, you can sometimes trust the wrong people and they end up taking advantage of that for whatever reasons. And I do believe that other then loyalty and honesty, that trust is a big thing when having a relationship with someone. So my questions are this....

1)Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?
2)What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fishie

1)Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?
2)What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

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I do guard a few secrets, yes. If they mean that much to me. Otherwise, I can tell you that I am pretty honest about things. ^^;

Pros and cons?

Pros: Pros on being too guarded is that in my case, when you know that certain people are bound to do something really annoying when you tell them something personal, you know that next time not to tell them something that private. :lol:

That one thing has been bothering me this year. >>

Cons: IMO, being too open...ehh, nothing wrong about that. I just don't like the idea of somebody knowing everything about you. Every single detail. All of your most well guarded secrets. I dunno. Its just personal. I don't feel the need to let everyone hear if its something very special.


Thats just my say.

Well I don't really know if i'm apart of this club yet and if i'm not and i'm not allowed to post here then i'm sorry and I will delete this post.

Fishie for your first question I would consider myself garded because of the crap I have gone threw everyday since I was in the third grade.

And fopr your second question I would not beable to answer because I don't know what Pros or Cons are. Maybe if somebody explained to me what they were than I would beable to answer your question Fishie.

Oh and I have a question. How do you know you love somebody?
Heress my answer When i'm around her all the time, when I can only think about her, when i'm mad or upset and she can change my mood with only saying that she loves me.

Pros and Cons are the same as what's good or bad about something draco.

OK Fishie, why should I tell you whether I'm open or not, it's none of your business!(sarcasm) Just playing, but as you can see the harshness of this corrupted globe has molded me to guard my fragile heart from anyone and everyone. But I've had my fare share of slipped up secrets. So I've learned that somethings are just better kept to myself. My first lesson of this was when I told a good friend a family secret and the next day everyone knew, so that was the first layer of the shell that is me. Although, I do believe that the best way to live is in a happy medium, I just haven't quite developped that ability yet.

Being too guarded can cause you to miss out on gaining anyone else's trust because a lot of people must be in give/take relationships in order to really talk to anyone. So if you're not willing to share don't expect to hear anyone else. Being guarded does reduce that awful hurt feeling when some breaks that trust bond with you though.

Openess has its flaws too though especially when I think of dating someone who's really open. You can't really build a personal bridge to connect with them because everyone knows everything about them, there isn't that sense of "look, you mean something to me so I'm going to share something with you to show you that." I can't really think of a real pro for being an open person right now, because my head is elsewhere but I'm sure there is one.

TG sorry I'm late on a reply, I've had a busy week with having some people down staying at my place and such, if everything works out I should have it within the week.

Oh one last note, I'll be going MIA for about a two weeks and week from today. I'm going on a missions trip to help a camp in Bermuda. I don't think I'll get much computer time. No worries though, once I get back I'll tell you all how it went...that is if you want to hear it.

Firstly I'll say I see trust as a major part of respect. To me if you break someone's trust you've shown them disrespect (though at times it can be warranted to some extent). Breaking trust is a good way to make relationships a whole lot more volatile.

1)Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?

I'd say I'm an open person. Yet I feel in this day and age you have to keep some things guarded, even if it may just be temporarily. The truth is often too much for people. I believe in give and take. If someone is honest with me, I'll be more open with them.

2)What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

It's always better in the long run to be honest and open, but at times it can be beneficial to be slightly guarded or face a possible really bad situation. And often you have to make the call as the future isn't always the easist thing to predict with any large amount of success.

Late late late, so I'm gonna place this as a placeholder. Going to give my answer for the question later in the day.

Draco, I already answered you in the post. Craven, Sean, as I know how you behave on the forums and on the MSN chat, I do approve your applications. Specially Sean, whom I know has experience with the debates and Intellectual Discussion.

Will respond later.

why do you consider yourself an altruist. Do you like to help others with their lives? Do you abhor injustice, in one way or another, and seek to resolve such? It does not have to be a long paragraph: about 5 lines should be enough.

I suppose that I would consider myself an altruist because, even though I don't have much to offer, I try to help people whenever I can. Usually it's big things that are really quite small on the grand scale, like talking to a friend, and offering advice when they're having a really difficult time, that sort of thing. I also used to do a lot of tutoring at my old high school, which I left in May. I tutored kids in Biology, Geometry, Algebra, and Physical Science (Intro to Chem and physics basically, easy stuff), and I've been doing that for a while now. Most of the kids at school come to me when they have tech problems too. I've even replaced a hard drive in the school cafeteria, because he didn't know how to do it, but he had the parts on him.

I hope this'll do.

Regards,
Joesteel

Well, time to exercise my co-captaincy innate abilities.
joesteel64...

YOU'RE IN!
Yeah I've seen you post around and been able to judge you of good character over MSN. Certainly better then some, myself included more than likely. ;!

alright, howdy, howdy, I guess for my first post, I'll answer the discussion :D


1)Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?

I would actually consider myself more of a guarded person. I am a man of many secrets, unless you are one of the few lucky enough that I'm able to trust with my thoughts and emotions. There are maybe 6 or 7 people total, that I deeply trust, to varying degrees. There are only two that I fully trust, because they have seen me at my weakest, and most vulnerable, and they never, ever even thought to betray that. Also, I don't open myself to others, due to some stuff that's happened in my past that's really changed me, and made me who I am today. I'm quite content as well, to keep myself within myself, and only reveal certain things to certain people.

2)What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

Well, if one is too open, then one is inviting others in to take advantage of you, and that's how people get taken advantage of. Granted, that's not to say that being guarded is all that awesome either. When one is too guarded, it becomes that much more difficult to let others in, when one really needs help emotionally. The proper way should be a happy medium, but I highly doubt that said medium is attainable. To an extent people always lean to one side of the spectrum or the other.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Silver

Firstly I'll say I see trust as a major part of respect.

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I think trust falls very much into respect. But when I think of trust, I think of the fact that someone actually cares about a person enough to actually "trust" them. Weither you trust a person with a secret, or merely trust someone with your books at school while you go get a drink, to lend something of yours into the hands of another, must have much thought and consideration to it.

When you break someones trust, you're not only showing them a henious form of disrespect, but I see it as you're showing them that they dont mean as much to you, as they might think. Because if you break someones trust, and tell them a secret for example, their feelings weren't in the equation to begin with.

Now the actual questions.

Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?

I am very much a guarded person, if I had posted here a year or 2 ago, I would say I was an open person, but over my going school years I have figured out that not many people, if any can actually be trusted. Although they may seem like your friends, even your best friend, doesn't mean that the fact of them knowing something wont make them choke. I have many secrets and I barely tell anyone. I have a hard time telling people if I like someone, even if I just hooked up with them. :lol:
I guess I have been betrayed to many times to be an open person, and it saddens me that I cant be.

What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

Pro's of being open:
- People will accept you more easily.
- It seems people make friends by telling them secrets about other.
- You never have anything on you're chest.

Con's of being open:
- People know everything about you, not always a good thing.
- Linked with above, when people know too much, the judge.
- You can lose friends by being open with others secrets.
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Pro's of being closed:
- People dont know much about you, therefore you're not always the center of attention. (For good & bad.)
- People can rely on you too keep their secrets.
- People can't judge you on petty mistakes.

Con's of being closed:
- People may not take you seriously when it comes to certain things.
- You can be shut off from events.
- Hard to open up to people, people that may mean the world to you.

Well thats my first S.O.I post. Am I doing it right?

Sean

Well, well, well...it seems yet another spike in activity has emerged! Sweet!!

Good to see Silver actually working on his co-captain duties! Although...I thought Joe would be pre-approved already, given he was already a member. Lemme make my statement:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by the list of members from the earlier SoI thread, recovered from the Cleft of Dimensions

Active Member List

Suzu Kitamura
TGOskar
Joesteel
Zeddicus
Kaitou
Kuradic
OmniTense/Sinister
Celtic_Silver
Pablo Honey/Govinda

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Emphasis mine. So, welcome back Joe.

Second...given that Sean is our current representative in the Tournament of Arms, can we give a warm act of support to our friend over here? I dunno...cheering for him could be nice, wishing him a good participation could as well.

Third: the discussion. I had the earlier post as a placeholder, but well, things are going so fast I decided to give my answer here.

1) Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?
A rather guarded person, whom hides within a facade of openness. Odd? Lemme explain: I often begin introducing in a very low pitch voice, almost inaudible, until some conversation happens. After some time, I begin making some degree of trust towards said person/people. However, while it is a bond of certain trust, I never give my full trust to such people, unless I make sure they may understand that part I like. In fact, the fact that I'm mostly a geek and that I love RPGs often gets hidden away until quite some time, and it is revealed rather unceremoniously. Now, tell me you love RPGs, and I reveal it happily.

I do not reveal things that may eventually feel out of place, or that may be offensive. In a way, I have many layers, and I reveal the layers that I wanna reveal. That way, I build trust, but never reveal something that may eventually be dangerous to reveal if for some reason trust is lost. I value trust very much, and even though I may seem a bit open, it eventually can be seen that I am reserved in some aspects. Hope that made some sense.

2) What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

If you're too open, you're easy to trust, you are friendlier and people seem to open to you more, but are also a bit more jealous of their deeper secrets, and eventually, someone that may not be entirely friendly may cause great harm. Having too much trust often ends in trusting someone that does not deserve it.

If you're the opposite, not too open and rather reserved, you seem hermetic, or difficult to establish a friendship with. People may not be open to you at first, but eventually, given your apparent hermetism, people gradually open to you and perhaps reveal a bit more than they would, in hopes that their secret gets as hermetically sealed as yours are. Also, you are a bit more wary of untrustful people, and choose whom you trust carefully. The greatest drawback is that, when someone you really trust loses such, the effects are magnified.

1) Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?


You means socially, right? Neither. I do not offer myself up for scrutiny, nor do I absolutely refuse to share the details of my existence. In other words, I don't blab away at my condition, but when asked, I'll usually answer. You may consider that open, I suppose. I generally only reveal things if it benefits me. So if I'm tell you something there is a profound reason why, usually.

Now on here, it is different. I am something of a chatterbox here. ^^;

2) What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

I think people who are open to the extreme are boring and annoying. People who are too guarded might as well not exist in other's eyes. They are ghosts.


-Sin

Why do you consider yourself an altruist?

I do and don't consider myself an altruist. I don't consider myself as such because I don't feel the need to help everyone, but I do consider myself an altruist because I will give my service to someone who deserves it. If someone needs help with role-playing, playing a game, or just something about life, I'll gladly give them what I know to help. I'm definitely an altruist to my friends, family, and to people I respect.

So yeah, that's my answer to the question, lol. Now, to answer the others.

1) Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?

Both. There is something I guard very close to myself that I feel is something that's my own business to deal with and not someone else. However, as that's never brought up I'm actually quite open with myself. As I've come to accept who I am I don't try to act any differently and I'm completely honest. I'll answer 99% of all questions asked and don't regret what happens.

2) What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

The pros for being too open is that people will find someone like that a person they can talk too. They're often friendly or at least fun to talk too, though like Sin said, they might just be boring and annoying more than useful. The con, however, is that being too open about yourself may make you more gullible than you should be. That leads to being too trusting and some times plain ignorant to the things around you. I mean as I am very open about who I am, I know what to keep to myself and when not to butt in with things that are none of my business. You shouldn't put yourself on display, only act like the person you are once you've figured that out in life.

As for the pros for being too guarded, well, I don't think there's many pros to isolating yourself away from others. If you're a specific kind of person than being guarded about your life may be alright, but the con is living a solitary life and that's something no one should go through. There's an insecurity that exist with such thinking and your fear will rule your life. That's not right.

I can vouch for Vicious, Oskar. You can do the checking yourself, but keep in mind that Vicious has my support.

Either way, what was the word on the RP? I never heard the end result of that. Was away for a while...personal issues. Let me know.

-Sin

@Sinny: no need for that. Vicious asked me personally via MSN if he could join, and he explained to me some things that so far, have made me realize he could be a good asset. I know how he can take the discussions, and he has that kind of quick, sharp wit oft looked. Hence, I have no qualms upon his approval, considering the current status. I know he's still a Master, but given the current explanation he gave me upon the matter, I feel there's no restriction upon it.

As for the RP, it's still in hiatus, but I may revive it given the sudden increase in activity. Lemme know if you're still interested. If unsure whether to RP or not, Vicious over here is working on a solution, but I believe this is a good time to revive the club, given that there are few people interested in it. Just tell me if you're still interested. As of it, we'll use the old RP OOC, so if you're really interested, just spark the activity there and I'll work around it.

Here's the old OOC if you're interested, so if you're still seeking for it, place your opinions here. Note, OPINIONS ONLY; I might need to edit the first post, and that may cause the deleting of any post. In any case, if you want a new OOC, I'll make one just for it. If you have any idea to which to work with, you may place it with the opinions, otherwise we'll remain with the old storyline, but with a massive rework.

I look like an open book, which I like, for it means people tell me things that I like to know; but under it all, I'm as guarded as they come. One of my friends at university said I was the only person she could cry in front of, and it always hurt her that I was never able to properly articulate why I was sad or upset when I was. Being guarded keeps you safe, but it also cuts you out.

Hai Vicious. Bienvenue!

I will not be able to help in an RP. My internet is about as reliable as my father when drunk.

Thanks Sin for vouching. Even if it wasn't needed, it still means something. And thank you Honey, it looks like things are going to look up for the Seekers of Illumination.

Anyway, as for the RP, I'm already thinking of putting something together, which some of you may have already read about. It's a large-scale RP based on a TFF world with plenty of influences from Final Fantasy. For now though, I only have a basic idea of what I want to do and with Oskar's help, I should have something put together soon enough.

Welcome to the SoI Vicious.
It's a pleasant surprise to have you join us. :D
I might try an RP or two as well a bit later.
Sounds fun.
And Gov, we need to chat on MSN. It's been way to long. :lol:
Til next a post is made. ;)

Is it just me or does all the activity happen when I'm gone and stop when I come back? It's like some huge conspiracy or something...

1)Would you consider yourself an open person or someone who's guarded?

I'm a very gaurded person who has a tendency to keep myself to myself, dpn't get me wrong I do socialise with other people and such but I never talk about myself to others and I dislike having my photograph taken through a side effect of how self-reserved I can be. I do on occasion talk about my feelings and such to other people however these people are never male, and even when speaking with someone I'd trust with my life I don't divulge into full details.

Like Oskar, this causes me to be slow with giving trust to a person however the more I know a person the more I'll open up.

If that doesn't make sense don't blame me. I'm too tired to be blamed for anything.

2)What do you think are the pros and cons to being either too open or too guarded?

From experience a person who is very open tends to be the type of person who lives a life of popularity which is obviously a huge advantage to the cause. A major downside (and this is speculation since I'm not really an open-book) would probably be that you wouldn't be able to privately console in a single person if some serious private incident occured because of the expectancies that you would just blurt it out. Also in being open you probably would miss out on a lot of potential friendships as open-ness can go hand-in-hand with blunt-ness or tactlessness.

An advantage of being guarded would perhaps be the wariness that comes with the territory, guarded people are less likely to foolishly trust another person who wants to cause only harm. Whilst being too guarded may lead to your exclusion from events because nobody is quite sure whether you'd like to go or not.

***

So now I can finally comment on the RP side of SoI.

The story seems a little vague for today's usual standard which is admitadly a good thing as it allows as much freedom as possible. However some more background information on such things such as God's Sanctuary and examples of the evils mentioned who had gained knowledge of GS's quest (as evil can potentially mean anything from crazy monarchs to demons).

Also, the profile template (which is usually not present in RP OOCs any more and can sometimes be considered inconveniant) is far too inspired by RPB profiles and maybe unflexible due to the obligation to name every possible technique learned by a character (it also doesn't make for fun reading to have to refer to an OOC post to see what an abillity does).

Trying to use the old thread for the new RP would just be silly, make a new OOC thread and use the same material if necessary, as that will allow us to post without the clutter of 2007s attempt.

Despite the fact that TFF's Official RPing Academy (which I will refer to as TFFORPA for conveniance on my part) is in the process of getting it's footing. I still think the SoI should go ahead with our own RP, after all TFFORPA is supposed to encourage the activity of the RP forum, and what more encouragement could the forum get than a new RP?

Fellow Seekers, how have you all been?

I'm seeking some illumination in respect to growing up. How did you all decide on what you were going to do with your lives? I've been thinking about it lately and I'm just not sure on what I want to do. Of course my faith has an influence on my decision but I have no great ambition or anything like that.

And since my summer has just ended, how was all your own summers?

I will give you a sample of the thinking that lead me to choose my career. I grew up having my father point at any plant or tree and tell me what it was and it's Latin nomenclature. That made an impression on me. But I fell in love with Nero Wolfe murder mysteries, one of his hobbies was growing orchids. I loved the word Orchid. When I saw my first at age 13, I was hooked. Then I realized that growing them, hybridizing them was similar to Pokemon...that was a conclusion of my youth.

Anyway...I took my greatest passion and made it a profession. Even if you can't do that...take the closest thing to it.

I doubt that was very helpful...but I tried. Wish there was a real answer to that question...but it all depends on you.

-Sin

How did you all decide on what you were going to do with your lives?

I've just made this decision a couple weeks ago. I've always loved working on/with/around computers, ever since my family's first; an AST Advantage Adventure, some junky computer that ran windows 95. I used to just play games, but I love finding out How they work, what makes them do things, and how to improve them. it's sort of a hobby, but now it's my area of study, and in a few months, will be my career. I guess the point is to take your interest and try to make a career out of it.




And since my summer has just ended, how was all your own summers?

It was pretty chilled out. Worked on my hobbies (Working/Tinkering with old computers, reading, Guitar Hero Customizing), got my schooling worked out, slept a lot. All in all, a good last summer off.

How did you all decide on what you were going to do with your lives?

Well I am only 17 so most people haven't figured out what they want to do.
But I want to be a chef, as well as amjor in business... With those qualitfications I am going to open "Ruby Tuesdays" and build a reasturant empire!
I really love to cook, I am also quite interested in business. So I figure that combining them would be the best idea :D


And as for how was my summer.. I don't remember it all that well it was about 8 months ago... Yes I am Australian lol.

How did you all decide on what you were going to do with your lives?

I just looked at all the options that were feasible and looked at the practical aspects (wages, hours I'd have to work, interest in the work) and then went a bit further in terms of what I thought I'd actually enjoy the most.

I ended picking a security based career path. I don't know where it'll take me in the long run as I figure it'd be best to get a feel for what I'd like to specialise in later. I researched what I'd have to do and completed my certificate I in Security Operations as well as my Senior First Aid (which most employers here wish their security personnel to possess) and got trained in crowd control, static and mobile guard work and finance loss prevention.

I currently find myself waiting for my license itself after sending away all forms and undergoing a police check. As I researched, after I earn my full license after a year with my provisional license I can choose to specialise in higher paid jobs such as locksmith, transit officer, armed guard and similar.

And it's been winter down here in NSW, Australia. ;)

I decided what I was going to do with my life incidentally. No epiphany or grand plan. I'm just only able of doing one thing.

I wanted to be a writer when I was a kid. I then grew older and discovered that I am pish at mostly everything else, for want of interest or talent. I'm okay at political science and not bad when it comes to history, but that's hardly exceptional.

I'm going to write things. I'm not quite sure what things yet. I figure I'll just hang around in higher education and continue to avoid taxes until I find out what.

But yeah. I love to write, and I was also led to it by default. I really can't see myself doing anything else. That in itself is distressing in two ways: the prospect of a lot of work (scary) and the fact that, for the first time in my life, the prospect of doing work does not phase me too heavily (v. frightening).

How did you all decide on what you were going to do with your lives?
If I said I was dead sure about what I wanted to do about my life then I'd be lying. I go up and down on what I want to do. I want to travel the world. I want to have death defying experiences. I want to be a journalist. I want to be a psychologist.

There's a lot of things I want to experience in my life and there's a lot I want to contribute to. Career wise, I'd either be taking a path down Journalism, Psychology, or Business.

Like Gov, I have passion for writing. And I've always had it since I had first started scribbling on papers and phone bills at an early age. I enjoy writing poetry. I enjoy writing little stories here and there. But if I were to go down a career, I would want to be a career that I can also have fun with. ;)


And since my summer has just ended, how was all your own summers?
Mine's went well. Went on vacation. Developed an interest in pool. Got a tan. Hung out with friends. And even got a job. :)

How did you all decide on what you were going to do with your lives?

Well, if I were to tell I have already decided what to do with my life, I'd be lying. I'm still a bit undecided. It's not very easy when you think you got it right, and all of a sudden everything comes back down. I think my choice was part thought and part sudden: I believe I chose my future career too fast, but I definitely took out the choices I didn't wanted. Not accounting, nor M.D., nor a lawyer. Maybe journalism, but then again I might not have the patience for it, and also maybe I don't need to study journalism to get where I wanna get. I also took off Programming. I definitely don't have the patience to write in a godforsaken language like Java. MATLAB, tho, seems decent enough.


And since my summer has just ended, how was all your own summers?
Eh, much like spring...and last summer, and last autumn/fall, and last winter...aka, pretty much doing nothing of interest. Working a part-time I might soon leave (hope I can get a job at a gaming store, it's much closer to my environment than a food chain and working maintenance when I ain't supposed to be one...). The main difference between this summer and last summer is that I'm expecting a niece.

Erm...expecting is such an old word. You see, my niece has already born, a healthy and cute girl (like, virtually all babies?). That'd be a reason to take future decisions with greater care.
__________________________________________________ _______

Gosh, so much that I tried to keep this alive and it seems once again, people have lost interest in keeping the club active. I know the club had it's ups and downs, but this is ridiculous... Usually, I don't like to double post anywhere, because I believe that bump-posting and trying to seek attention where there was none, kinda tells you something is wrong.

So, if for the few minutes anyone really wants to keep the club alive, please do so. If not...then I'll probably lose care in any attempt to revive this. Sucks that a club with a purpose lost it so long ago. I still won't ask for the thread to be closed: perhaps all it needs is a bit of rousing up. Though, waiting for the last moment and hoping someone at this point does get interested seems...

Eh, I don't seem to have witty words to continue. Ultimatums suck. Just point when is the exact moment time runs up. If this edit helps to extend the time, and someone else does care to make this work again, then fine. Seems I got tired of holding to something that lost its shine so long ago.