Meaning of love

[Govinda]

Now you're asking the right questions!

Love is painful, yes. But most of the time, it isn't; it's just that when it is, it hurts like hell. It takes a lot of work to keep things going, to keep on a level pegging. But the point is this - there can be nothing better than the good times you have with that person, so you'll go through hell just to get there in one together piece.

I don't think anyone knows where romantic love comes from - it just appears. It's like this: imagine you sort of know a person your friend knows, don't really think much of them, maybe don't even say hello to them when you pass them in the hall at school. But one day, you'll be with your friend and their friend and said friend of fried will say something that you completely resonate with and relate to. Chances are Original Friend will miss these words, or maybe these actions, and think nothing of them; but they'll find a home in you. You'll walk away from the conversation thinking of them, and some part of your brain will go 'Heeey....some shit is up here.'

I love my boyfriend almost as much as I love my brother, but it's a completely different kind of love. I do not want to take long walks with my brother and then come home and have a bath with him before heading to bed with him, as we have a healthy sibling relationship. My boyfriend is the one I want to do these things with. I would go to the end of the earth for both of them, but I only dream of one; see what I mean?

The best part about all this is that you'll have next to no idea what I'm talking about until it hits you. And believe me, it's great. The hard times create things better than you can imagine. I mean, when I was your age, the thought of wearing no clothing in front of another person was unimaginable; 'I mean, come on! Who can you trust that kind of thing with?' I thought. I thought it would take years and years for that kind of trust to build up, but it doesn't; find the right person, and it's waiting there for you. They give their whole selves to you and you to them, and it's the best thing; but it's not halcyon, and it does take work. It's not hard work, though, don't worry.

Love doesn't pop out, it isn't forced out; it's a mutual feeling between two people. Unless it's one sided, which sucks, I've seen people meddling in that shit and whimpering in my kitchen. Anyway. Love is created by two people, and doesn't come from anywhere in particular; it's just there.

An old debate that raged during the later years of school was 'How do you know when you love someone?' We girlies agonised over that one, so we did. 'Is it just when you think about them all the time? Is it when you get butterflies...is it...oh, I dunno.'

But we grew older and reached a conclusion: love is different for everyone, and you're the only one who can truly know it. I mean, people in love are easy to spot most of the time; you can sense a couple's familiarity and unity a mile off if you know what you're looking for (also means you can spot the ones who aren't in it for love and can then stand bitching about them at bus stops etc.). You know when you're in love, and nobody can tell you otherwise.

You're gonna love this shit when it hits you for the first time. I remember when Evan said, 'I love you,' for the first time; we were lying cuddled up in his bed (young and fully clothed, for the record), and then he just said it. I remember that for the first and possibly last time in my life my sense and my brain died. I thought nothing, felt nothing, and saw nothing apart from sheer white. Then I sort of mumbled it back (I still couldn't see) and things got really cool. We sat there for ages practicing the words and feeling the syllables and what it felt like to say them to each other. It was pretty cool. I passed my English Prelim the next day by writing an essay on love, haha.

You cannot understand love, ever. Nobody can. Poets, philosophers, theologians and scientists have all failed miserably. But that's one of the best things about it, the mystery, the wonder.

Believe me, it's something to look forward to. You won't understand it dearheart, but you will enjoy it; and it'll last your whole life, be it with one person or several, depending on how things go with the people you meet. Don't fight it, don't try to understand it; just bask in what it and your other half can give you, but never ever forget to give back.

I feel all cheered up and lovey now!

[Fluffy]

Let me tell you a little story about love and logic.
__________________

There was once a guy, about a year ago, much like myself. There was a girl he knew for a couple of years. She was a nice girl, very friendly, and they got along fairly well. But that's all there was to it.

One day, on a day like any other, they sat together and talked for a while. On this day, something about the girl seemed different to the guy. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. All day he continued to think about her, and thought back to their conversation. He focused a lot on the image of her he had in his memory, though he wasn't quite sure why he couldn't just stop thinking about her.

As he talked to a friend about her, he realized it; he was in love with her.

It's been a year since that happened, and he still feels much the same way as he did on that day. Not only thinking back, but also thinking ahead, he realized something else. He's 22. She's 5. No matter how he feels, no matter what he does, he will most likely never be able to be with her. This realization hurt him immensely. For months, he felt emotional pain about his situation, and still it seems to have no end.

Still, he would do anything for her.
__________________

I'm afraid logic has nothing to do with it. The logical thing would be not to fall in love with this girl, and instead go for one that he actually can be with. But it doesn't quite work that way. There's no choice. It just happens. (At least, for me. I can't definitely speak for others)

I pretty much agree with everything Pablo Honey said. You'll know it when you feel it. You can't just make it pop up. It'll appear on its own, and it'll most likely be a surprise. And nobody can ever really tell you what it feels like. Not only is it different for everyone, but it's pretty much indescribable. And every time, assuming you fall in love with more than one person, it will be different. I'm not sure you can exactly say it's "more" or "less", but it will be different.

I will also add, though, that since it's different for everyone, there are most likely people who really don't feel this kind of love. Also, for me, love is the ultimate thing in life. But I find this is not the case for everyone.

And on a final note, I will add that I do not believe in a literal "unconditional love". If such a thing does happen, I would most likely label it as a form of insanity. But hey, that's just me. Don't take my word for it. After all, love can't be universally defined.

[Gillamobster]

Stop being a *****, seriously. The chicks may dig this "oooh... look at me, I'm contemplative' bullshit, but that crap doesn't fly with real men.

[Chez Daja]

I think I'll close this thread. To be honest, it's been a long winded road here, and it was created back in September last year.

I think almost everybody active has had a say here, but now is the time to end it. I will consider a reopening if I receive relevent PMs, but for now let it die, I think.