The Grand Theatre of Freaks

I have to admit, I haven't really read anything just lately. It's pretty lazy of me, but I really want the Edge Chronical series... Hardcover by Paul Stewart. I doubt it'll happen anytime soon, though. So yeah...I won't be keeping my hopes too high. Excellent fanatasy series, though. The only one I like, possibly...

Also, just a quick note to say I'm leaving for a week from 1pm tomorrow. Just figured I'd mention it here as well as in the welcome forum. I'll be back, take care, strange freakish people.

Well, I read Confessor by Terry Goodkind about two weeks ago, and i must say that it was an amazing way to conclude a series. After eleven or so other books before it, Confessor fulfilled all of my expectations, and then some.

I've also started re-reading the Dragonlance Saga (Only the ones written by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman). There's nothing like a good old-fashioned fantasy novel to take your mind off of the worlds troubles.

Does the dialog in several RPGs count? ^^;

I haven't been reading so much of late. Just playing games in my home time and going out most of the other time. It's why I mostly only come on here at night. Most nights. Hell I tend to be playing console games on the TV WHILE I'm on the internet. ><

What am I playing now? Well I have my laptop on the coffee table next to me with an analog controller and the PC version of Sonic Adventure: Director's cut. I just love how insane fast it seems, and some of the things that can be done throughout the game.

BTW... I FINALLY GOT MY SWORDS!
And they look cooler than I ever could have imagined. I might post pics when I can borrow a camera, although I sent a pic to Lily via my phone. :D

Anyone else pick up a random interest in things just because they saw a demonstration somewhere or something?

Mine was just wanting to learn to use some Japanese steel, simply through seeing a demo of a man who could quite literally make his blade seem invisible and do some other cool tricks...

Books: Well, I haven't really bought any lately, because people always give me books to read (it's really the only thing people can think to get me for presents and such), but I did just read Elsewhere, which was actually very good in a religious-but-attempting-to-go-around-normal-religion way. Other than that, my uncle actually bought me Ender's Game, so I've been reading that in between schoolwork.

Random Interests: I actually do have something like that...though it was more because of my mother. She'd bought these things called "speed stackers" for her classroom, and she'd brought them home so I could try them out. It's actually kind of addictive...I'm quite good at it though...'tis odd.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by joesteel64

Well, I read Confessor by Terry Goodkind about two weeks ago, and i must say that it was an amazing way to conclude a series. After eleven or so other books before it, Confessor fulfilled all of my expectations, and then some.

I've also started re-reading the Dragonlance Saga (Only the ones written by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman). There's nothing like a good old-fashioned fantasy novel to take your mind off of the worlds troubles.

---

I know A LOT about this series although I've never read a word of the books- sadly.

!!!!!!!!!! SPOILERS ABOUT THE SWORD OF TRUTH SERIES BELOW !!!!!!!!!!

Like I miss Scarlet the dragon from the first book, I believe she died when the Chimes came into the world- abolishing all magic :(

and the Wizard's first rule is that people are stupid... lmfao.

How the Chainfire spell made everyone forget that... what's her name? Kaiylen? Well, made them forget she ever existed- except for Richard though... is that his name? Because he had the sword of truth.

I LOVED the concept of the Dominy Dirches [sp?] which were the giant bells that made people explode. Also, the long and short tailed garrs. Blood flies and heart hounds.

I know SO much about that damn seried because my friend is OBSESSED with them and he always tells me about them- and it doesn't help that my memory is like a one way trap that stores EVERYTHING I've ever heard, seen, watched, thought, etc... and never lets them go.

Jeeze- the series ended by those boxes... I forget their named, but Richard accessed them correctly [unlike Jegang [sp?] who was killed by their traps] and he set those magic haters into a realm of their own... [which many believe to be our world] without magic.

Oh god... I've never even read them... -cries-

Momo.. It's very, very sad that you know all of that and haven't read the things XD.

Has anybody read anything by Gary Crew? Award-winning Australian Author.. He's bloody amazing, honestly. Reading them.. It feels like his books were made for me. It's great.

I'd reccomend "Gothic Hospital" for anybody with a gothic novel/the Brothers Grimm fetish, definitely. It reads almost like a faerie tale in some parts.. But I'd recommend it to anybody that doesn't like those things, too. It is really just amazing. I remember feeling like it was a dream... I read it all in one sitting because I couldn't pull away and then it felt like I was waking up from a dream. Really odd. It just floats by you..

And it doesn't read like it's new, it feels like a much older book.. I don't quite get it.

The Lacemaker's Daughter is also very good. The ending perplexed me, but a good book. The main character.. I responded and related to her very well. It was nice.

Anyone read Udo Grasshoff's "Let Me Finish" ?

I've only read articles, but it sounds like some of those pages could be filled with hours of morbid fun. On the other hand, it appears interesting. I may skit to the library to check it out tomorrow.

Can't be assed trying to buy books with the little money I have. I have to scrape just to afford to breathe these days.

Also, anyone seen the film Flatliners? 1990 it came out. Pretty good. Keifer Sutherland and Julia Roberts. It's about doctors who kill each other and bring each other back to life and then freakish things start to happen. It's an interesting little gem out of a lot of copper. Give it a shot if you're bored one night. I bought it on DVD for £2 at the supermarket. =D

*shocks thread*

C'mon people. We have Govinda back. We need activities. Think! What happened to the writing competition. We need something to do. The BoD has falled we need to bring this club back as one of the leading clubs. A call to arms I say!

How many people consider themselves to be...morbid... Would you say? How do you react to that sort of thing?


-Sin

Morbid?

Macabre artwork is something I try my hand at. It works quite well. I suppose my signature, which I made on a free trial on PaintShopPro could be considered a lesser form of that. Maybe.

I like watching films portraying torture. I doubt I'd ever actually torture anybody, but in a film, it works well. Texas Chainsaw Masscare is a pretty mild version of torture, but peeling off faces sure looks satisfying. ;!

Morbid... It depends on your personal definition of the word, I suppose.

I've been called morbid before, but it's not anything I strive for. I don't try to fit myself into any category, and I don't think I'm too easily defined.

I do have violent thoughts that abruptly rise from my mind, but who doesn't? I do have an overactive imagination, so when I hear something or think something, it literally unfolds right infront of my eyes.

I guess I do joke a bit more graphically than others as well.

But no, not morbid :)

Morbid, me?
Well maybe. :lol: I'd say more psychopathic. That is if someone I know died or was harmed or something I'd feel something, but if it was some person I didn't know or something...
Well I just don't feel nothing. But you know what I mean Sinny, that chat on MSN the other day should explain it better than I could now.

And yeah, reading about murderers and stuff does interest me. It's just not something I come across every day I guess. ^^;
But it's really the same way random other things interest me. Too much curiousity... >_>
And I do see killing another as wrong... You're not giving that person a chance to experience that which they would have. I very much doubt the after life to be anything like this one. :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sinister

The BoD has falled we need to bring this club back as one of the leading clubs.

---

I'd rather not fill the shoes they did...or even the ones they think they did. ;!

In some ways I'm morbid, I guess. I find suffering and death to be quite romantic in the cultural sense. I'm more "inspired" by emotional suffering than physical suffering though. But I wouldn't really call myself morbid in the sense I think most people use it. I mean, comical death is funny sure, but I think that's just a human thing.

I'm sort of reverse-morbid. I really do not want to die, not just now at least; my biggest fear is the death of someone I love, or of myself. I don't feel scared of death, really, I see it as being another phase of somethingorother; but I really do not want to be told when to die. I want to either choose, or find some way of living forever (not happening - I know). I've always been like this, and this attitude plays a big role when my mind decides it's time to roll around the carpet of its own accord.

So I'm pretty morbid, I suppose. By my own standards at least.

Stories, loves? Oooh! I've been looking for something to write; between recents events and Uni I sort of forgot.

New deadline, peut-etre?




Cheerio dearhearts

Am I morbid? Well, I don't really see myself as that way... Unfortunately, a lot of other people think that about me. I mean, I do make a lot of jokes and/or references to death and physical injuries.

On the other hand, I was just listening to the song "Good Morning, Baltimore", which is pretty much the epitome of happiness...

Maybe I'm just one of those people who can be both morbid and anti-morbid at the same time? I'm not sure.

Em...

Hmm.

Morbid. I wouldn't use the word to describe myself. I have morbid thoughts every now and then, but I think everyone does. I'm a little frightened of the evil within people and sometimes I'll be lying awake at night thinking about the possible deaths of myself or the people I love. How to deal with them. Or how to deal with an attack of some kind. I end up having to snap myself out of it because there's a difference between being ready and being paranoid.

So... I think about morbid things sometimes, but I don't enjoy them.

Hah... when the discussion one night went to that Fish serial killer guy, I almost threw up. Swear to god. That letter he wrote? ****. Like, I was close to tears and I could feel my throat getting all tense.

To some extent, I believe dwelling too long on evil invites it into your life. I would rather think happier thoughts.

Am I morbid? I can have a very morbid sense of humor, at times, but on the whole I prefer not to think about death. I mean really, those who obsess about death, seem to welcome it into their lives. (welcoming death into a life? there's an oxymoron! yay!) Anyways, I guess depending on what mood i'm in, I can be either or, though I'm never completely obsessed with morbidity.

Regards,

Benny Lava

I'm often called morbid..

I don't know if I would consider myself so or not. My sense of humour does happen to be quite dark alot of the time, and maybe that's why I get called morbid so much.

I do have an interest in death.. Which is probably.. Yes, considered morbid ><. Not in a suicidal way, just that most aspects of death do fascinate me to some extent. It's an interesting thing.

The main thing's probably that I tend to find alot of beauty in things that are otherwise or considered by other people to be extremely dark.. I seem to be endlessly fascinated in these things or simply find them beautiful.

hmm, It's been awhile since there's been a huge discussion in here so...

Being different, how do you prefer to deal with stressful situations, bad experiences, mental breakdowns, etc?

I for one, do my absolute best to mask my emotions until I'm home and vent to others. This way, I'm able to maintain my composure in public, or whatever situation i'm in, and deal with it, once I'm able.

Stressful situations....well, pretty much I mask all feelings of it and, if possible keep from dealing with it until I finally explode and tell all of my problems to the nearest person. Sure, it doesn't work out well for that person, but it makes me feel better. I learned in health that that's one of the worst things you can do, and that it can actually cause many diseases and decrease your life span...yay!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Benny Lava

Being different, how do you prefer to deal with stressful situations, bad experiences, mental breakdowns, etc?

---

I don't deal too well with mental breakdowns. They're not momentary, or a day-long experience, they last a week or more at least.

I had a mental breakdown a few years ago. My family was falling apart worse than ever, not to mention I had constant crap from dad... I felt like I had utterly nobody to talk to, and in a way, I didn't. It was possibly one of the worst times in my life, and I had no control over my situation or myself.

I did some very silly things, and I forced somebody on the spot to assume somekind of control, not that it lasted for too long. This breakdown was the front seat of my fears about about four or five, maybe six months when it finally came to a slow-down.

One thing I realise, is I believe my breakdown made me more braver in some ways, but more analysing in others. I worry more than I did. I don't find time to relax... which is probably a reason as to why my illness aren't getting any better. My immune system is low, I get sick easily and my whole body hurts and aches due to stress.

I find things have vastly improved since Andrew came into my life. Some of the more horrible aspects in my life doesn't seem as bad now that I have a boyfriend, who is also like my best friend. I can talk to him about anything, and he'd wake up and call me at 4am if he knew I wanted to talk. He's just the kind of boyfriend who would do almost anything to make me happy... that's something I lacked in all my previous relationships. I love my little cheese-feast.

So before I met Andrew, it would've been more difficult for me to deal with things... But now that I have a nice steady boyfriend who isn't impulsive or disappears and doesn't call or get online for days on end (like a previous relatonship I had), I have no reason to worry as much about things, because I know my rock is there for me whenever I need him. He calms me down and we talk my problems over. He's so laid back it's unbelieveable, but that's just what I need to still myself when I'm at my shakiest.

I also have to mention my sweet little hamster, Jari, for listening to me. And my other little-love hamster Sari, who's watching over me.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Benny Lava

Being different, how do you prefer to deal with stressful situations, bad experiences, mental breakdowns, etc?

---

Stressful situations. Depends on the situation in question but I prefer to face these head on most of the time. If it's several people being assholes for example I'll tell them to just fight me or **** off. It's aggressive, yeah, but it gets results. If it's other forms of stress I'll beat up a punching bag, try to chill out and just find a way of expelling energy.

Bad experiences? Just try to keep going forwards. It's best not to dwell on them most of the time. If it's caused by a problem that can't be forgotten or whatever, just try to fix up the best I can so I can go forwards.

Mental Breakdowns aren't an issue I face nowadays. Just a matter of keeping cool, finding ways of releasing stress, whatever. It can be beneficial at times to use anger BUT it's rarely good to be controlled by it I've found throughout my life.

Quote:

---

Being different, how do you prefer to deal with stressful situations, bad experiences, mental breakdowns, etc?

---

I do a quick damage assessment and list possible outcome concerning the situation that is stressing me. I choose the one with the most beneficial outcome with an eye towards minimalism and try to focus future events towards that outcome.

However, that sounds nice and all, but it really only goes so far. Sometimes bad things happen and then sometimes bad things happen that there's nothing you can do about it. In the later case, I just weather it. But if it gets too bad, like ridiculously bad...so horrible that you can't possibly attribute it to JUST bad luck, then I laugh. From that point forward it doesn't matter what happens to me or around me, it's all just a funny joke.


The only time I suffer mental breakdowns is when I start thinking and then I think too much. I dwell over the meaning of life and introspective over every minute feature and facet of my present day status. These all pile on whilst I keep thinking, contemplating and reading. In the end, it'll probably be the death of me. It's in these phases that I tend to abuse drink and drugs. Once I snap out of these phases I'm fine for the next half a year.

I wouldn't say I run any gambit of emotions... No, no. More to say that I have two modes. One is quiet and analytical, the other is quiet and brooding. Not to let anyone think that I'm the type to breakdown and shoot up schools or any such horrific nonsense. No, these phases I go through are purely self-destructive only.

I don't ever really get angry, though. Or atleast if I do, it's a cold anger and not a hot-tempered one. I tend to be mild about most things and view things with a modicum of levity, if at all.

-Sin

Put simply.. I just don't deal too well XD.

Stressful situations? I.. Um.. Don't do much at all, to tell the truth. I tend to bottle it up or tell a close friend.. ALthough admittedly I often try not to as I have chronic paranoia and tend to throw things greatly out of proportion, which I'm sure even a few people around TFF have become the victim of ><.

As far as bad experiences go.. Um.. I just don't deal very well at all. Although sometimes it happens to me for literally no reason at all, bad experiences are often the cause of mental breakdowns..

Which is the next thing. Anybody who knows what happened with the incident a few weeks ago will know that I really just don't cope with these well at all. Mainly because the type of breakdown I get doesn't actually last long, but is very intense. A few hours long usually, and I have.. It feels like everything's trying to hurt me, and I can't think straight.. I generally lock myself in the safest place near and available, being my closet, a public bathroom.. Or wherever it is for wherever I am.

I wonder if it's too late to apply... oh well. I might as well put my hat in the race anyway!

Why do you think you are unique?
There are so many things. To start with, I like really weird music. I like everything from ska, death metal, to acoustic rock, to plain old rock and roll. But I have a serious passion for Avante Garde (which can range from composers like John Cage and John Zorn to more progressive bands like Sleepytime Gorilla Museum and Mr. Bungle) and noise (Check out Bloody minded, Merzbow, and Kylie Minoise (in fact, this video is one of the greatest noise sets ever (turn down the volume on your computer, the video is really loud)).

I have a bizarre man crush on Mike Patton.
I don't drink often (in fact, I barely ever drink). I don't smoke.
I have a metaphorical boner for American history.
I never get mad. I don't know. I can not recall any time in the last 5 years that I've ever honestly been in a bad mood.
I live in Wisconsin. And I love it here.
I have a subscription to American History Magazine.

What talents separate you from others? Be advised that I'm only looking for unique talents.
I have this weird thing about my memory. I'm not sure if it's a talent, but I think it is. If you were to give me the name of any battle from the American Revolutionary War, I could tell you what month and year they took place. But if you tell me your phone number on, let's say a Monday, on Tuesday, I will have forgotten it.
I'm a phenomenal baker.
I used to make Drone metal.
I can vote Republican.
Also, I can sing the vocal part to Focus' "Hocus Pocus". Youtube that.

Has anyone ever referred to you as different/strange/weird/freak/insane?
Different- of course!
Strange- yes, on several occasions.
Weird- Too many times to count.
Freak- Once. A friend of mine were hanging out, driving around. We were listening to Mr. Bungle's self titled CD. At the end to Travolta, there are farm animal sounds. She called me a freak for imitating the sounds.
Insane- NO. YOU'RE INSANE.

How do you deal with the rest of the world, being so absurdly different as you are?
Honestly? I just don't care. The world can see me however it wants. I like myself. I'm not going to change just because the public sees me as "bizarre".

What title would you select to describe yourself, which we may refer to you openly?(NOTE: Please be unique)
I'd choose my name, Brad, but that poses a problem of uniqueness. If I recall correctly, there were 5 guys with the name Brad in my graduation class. I never really thought of my name as a popular one, but I guess I was wrong. The other choice would be The Stuffed Prophet. It's been my name on a couple of boards. The name comes from it being one of Grover Cleveland's many nicknames.

Interesting... But I have no objection on inducting our eleventh president into our happy little group.

Your field of interest lies outside the norm in a impressive area that I must admit I'm really not all that knowledgable about.

I must say that I'm not a John Cage fan, but then I've heard it's an acquired taste. I did like the little piano he came up with and would like to play a Cage piano if I ever get the opportunity. And though I appreciated 4'33 for what it was, It's...not on my playlist. ^^;

I do like Kylie Minogue, however.

Anyone who can brighten this club with even more individuality is certainly welcome.


Welcome to the Theatre, Stuffed Prophet.


-Sin

Stressful situations... oh jeez.

It's not that I live an exceedingly stressful life, or that my luck is any worse than anyone elses... it's just that through the lovely chain of DNA, I inherited an innate skill to stress out over every detail. Stress though isn't always bad, because it's also a form of motivation... for some.

I live my entire life in some form of being stressed, but don't think I'm slipping into psychosis, there ARE stressful things. At the moment I'm worrying about:

Rent due at the end of this month, I hope we make it because we haven't missed a payment yet but with the car loan we have to pay off, it's a lot to swallow... [rent is $770 and the loan is $275 a month]. Then there's the insurance company who wants $3,000 from Terry and I for the surgery he "was not covered on" although they okay'ed it and unkowingly he had an irreversable hernia correction. So... we owe money to the hospital, insurance company, surgeon, anesthesiaologist... [sp?] and a few more people who want to cash in on this lovely ordeal. There's my job where we're moving to a new building and I really don't want to go, and they keep pulling me for different departments while my work is left here to somehow get itself done... Then I have to go back to college next semester SOMEHOW while I retain a full-time job... so I will be adding double the loss of sleep and work-load... oh, there's more but I don't feel like going on about it :P

Wow... that doubled as an explaination AND a mini-rant... phew! Well, see, it's not that I don't have anything to stress over... it's just that I don't handle it well.

So on a scale from 1 to 10 [10 being the best], I handle stress at about a 3. :D

Hi Stuffed Prophet! Welcome!

Benny's question.

First and the easiest: bad experiences. I'm a fan of the Carpet Method. Shove that shit under a carpet and leave it. If it comes back out, it'll come back out as either stress or a nice big breakdown. I'm lucky like that; I can carry all the baggage you like and completely forget its there.

Under stressful conditions, I talk too much. I tend to panic, then for some reason draw back and be the coolest, most level-headed person you've ever met. I'm good at dealing with that kind of situation, or at least I'd like to think so. Under whatever duress, I've never really lost it too badly.

When my mind starts to unravel, I shut up. I draw back. I, completely on purpose, cut myself off from human contact. I don't know why. I just sit and mope and get angry etc. It's not a very clever method at all, since after a few days someone somewhere will notice I've stopped talking and eating and they'll ask me how I am, at which point I basically explode and alllll the crap comes out. It doesn't happen too often though now, since the people that I live with know how to deal with me. The psychosis, I hide from everyone but the internet since I figure I have to let it out somewhere or that's going to be a major explosion the second one of them asks me about it. I'm getting nervous even typing this but I told myself it's a good idea so I'm going to so there.

ANYWAY. Like I said, I don't get too down too often. I tend to be able to nip things in the bud, and deal with them quite well. I know full well that I'd deal with them a ****load better if I invited the readily available help I have around me, but I am complete rubbish at exposing my own emotions, as in telling people about them. I feel as if I'm exposing myself, giving too much away, making myself vulnerable. So I don't do it. I lock up, lock down, and wait for it to pass. Marta knows though. She knocks on my door to ask if I've eaten, and she and Kris force me out of my room if they feel inclined. It never really solves much but it distracts me for a few hours, and it's nice to know that they care.

So...that's about it.

And! Since we have a lovely shiny new member, d'you think it's wise to try the story thing again? I'm not sure what happened last time. Most of January's kind of gone, for the most part. In the next few weeks I get to go on holiday, too; so I'll have time, theoretically. I'm rambling now and have made one required line into a paragraph. Time to stop.

Cheerio loves

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by James K. Polk's talent

I can vote Republican.

---

Ahahaha, he should get in for that comment alone. :lol:

Also, another history nut, that gives me a metaphorical boner. :D American history isn't my forte in the least, but a history lover is always great.

To answer the topic question, I suck at dealing with stressful situations. I have 2 strategies (anti-strategies?): Freak out or brood. I'll either go balistic or sit and sulk quietly for hours to days, depending on what was stressing me and why. Sometimes I watch television or play games, but I can't read worth a lick when I'm stressed. I can't focus my attention away from what's bothering me enough to actually read what I'm looking at. I'll get 3 or 4 pages done without reading a word. ;!

It seems I'm behind on the club discussions. I haven't really been feeling in the posting mood for this whole week for some reason. Maybe a few post plus the Word Games forum but eh, time to get back into it...

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Sinister
How many people consider themselves to be...morbid... Would you say? How do you react to that sort of thing?

---

It depends on how people define morbid to themselves. Would I consider myself morbid? Just a bit. I like watching people get slaughtered in movies. And not like a "OMgz her boobz gOt cUt Off. *gets turned on*" but its more like an entertainment factor for me. I am starting to grow a fascination towards death as of recently. Not in a suicide way but more of a positive and curious outlook on it.


As for the stress question, I don't do well when I'm stressed out. If its little things then I can handle it but if its like a lot of little things of even major things, I tend to hold onto in and internalize it sometimes. Usually, I'm not the kind of person to open up to people and explain how I feel or what's going on at the moment but I am starting to notice that it does help in a way. Either that or I cope with it by doing something physical or writing a poem.

Sometimes, depending on what the situation is, I tend to blow up and snap and get really angry and trash stuff. Like the incident when I went to the hospital as I mentioned in my journal a while back. During that time, I've had a lot of stuff going on inside me. There was times when I felt like I wanted to cry. There was times when I felt like I wanted to punch something. I had these mixed emotions and sometimes its hard to be rational, when you're like that. And that can lead to problems with me. But I'm learning as I've said to cope with stress in a more positive, productive way. :)

On to another topic, I've been in the reading mood for quite sometime. I'm thinking of going to the bookstore or the library this weekend and getting some books to read. Anyone have any recommendations on what I should get?

Suggestions on reading eh?

Well, depending on what genre you're looking for, I might be able to offer some suggestions

Sci-Fi: Ender's game is probably my favorite book of all time. Characters are really deep, and have a lot of individuality, the settings and imagery are amazing, and the storyline itself is unique, and gripping from start to finish.



Fantasy:

if you're looking for a long, storyline, try The Sword of Truth saga by Terry Goodkind. The first book is Wizard's First rule, and if you like that on, then there are around 11 more books to read in that series.

Comedy: my favorite comedy book is Stephen Colbert's I Am America (and so can you!). priceless hilarity from cover to cover, with opinions on everything from religion to the family, to world affairs.