Should you be yourself, or should you be a person that other people will think is cool? Or are you supposed to find a middle ground, being a version of yourself that you think people will like? Are you supposed to change who you are to a degree to where the cool kids will find you socially acceptable? Can you really win this game, or are there already designated "winners" and "losers," and if that is the case, does it matter what you do?

I would prefer to be myself. I know there are traits about myself that some would find awkward or weird, and the less accepting would be uncomfortable to be around me because of those traits. There are things that I like that the "cool kids" don't like, and there is behavior that I deem undesirable that the "cool kids" deem the opposite. Am I supposed to force myself to shake my undesirable traits, stop liking things that I like, and accept behaviors that I find unacceptable, so that the cool kids will accept me?

I pose these questions because I've seen people on here call their behavior "real." Behavior that I'd consider brutally honest and highly abrasive at times, and I can't get myself to act like that without either forcing it or just letting go and not caring for a while, but ultimately feeling bad afterwards. Therefore, me behaving in such a way is not "real" to me, so I frequently decide to revert back. But then there still seems to be some expectation of myself and others to exhibit that behaviour, even if it doesn't come naturally.

By no means am I saying I'm an angel. I know I can be a ****, but I feel bad about it often times, too, unless I was joking, and it's clear that everyone involved knows it.

To get back to my train of thought though, it just seems like there is an expextation at times for everyone to "be real" and act the same... when we're not all the same. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and different things that will set us off and upset us. If we were all the same, the world would be a boring place. So why put the expectation on people to act like you want them to? Why can't there be a more general acceptance of difference? And in a community of nerds, why can't we be more sympathetic to each other? To some extent, I'm sure that everyone here has experienced being bullied, looked down upon, or being socially shunned, and no one needs it on the internet too (unless, of course, their behavior is genuinely harmful to themselves or someone else.)

Of course, I know it's human nature to gloat and flaunt any shred of superiority that we might feel over others. "I may be lame, but at least I'm not as lame as him/her!" I'm guilty of it myself at times, of course. Probably a lot of the time. Keeping it in check would be a good idea though, I believe.

If you just wanna laugh and play it up to your little cliques while casting out and shunning others though, more power to you, I guess. Don't expect much sympathy, though.

...I'm going to use this buzz that the two Dead Guys I've drunken have given me to give me the courage to actually post this monstrosity. Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom