Have you ever had a crush... on someone you shouldn't have a crush on?

[NikkiLinkle]

I've came to the realisation that I have developed a small crush on someone, someone that I shouldn't have a crush on. The main reason is because I'm in a relationship. The second reason, this person is also in a relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I have never had a crush on anyone before. I pride myself on being a loyal girlfriend, so I feel really guilty, for even feeling the slightest bit of attraction to someone else.

[The_Dream_Recluse]

I've had plenty of crushes on girls when i was growing up, i even had a crush on my Ancient History teacher in Grade 11 and 12

My most 'recent' crush involves one of my friends who is way outta my league in terms of looks and being social. For starters, she is healthy, has a sexy body and great looks. She's smart, talented and funny and a bit of a tomboy at times, and even though she's six months younger than me, she's managed to gain a good paying job as an 'assistant manager' of sorts for an office company and makes 40k+ a year. She hasn't even turned 20 yet.

So yeah, i think crushes are nothing to be ashamed of, everyone occasionally finds someone other than their partner attractive. It's upto the person however to stay loyal to their partner. Me, well i don't really have that problem at the moment since i'm single, but on the same token i'm not really looking for any relationships or 'fun' with girls, i'm relatively happy being by myself.

[Rowan]

It depends on how one defines a crush. Its normal to continue to find people other than your partner attractive. Nothing could compare to your relationship with your partner though. Im always honest with my girlfriend if she asks me if I find someone attractive I will give her an honest answer and tell her what it is about her and then reassure her of her attractive qualities and that this person has nothing on her because im not at all interested in their personality and in many ways, can make them an ugly person. If you are attracted to this person physically and personality wise, I think you should sit back and think about the relationship you have with you and your boyfriend then think about wheather or not its worth pursuing. Honestly, if you've been with him for 4 years it sounds to me as if you really care for each other and this is just a problem you've never had to deal with. Just understand that its normal to find people attractive other than your boyfriend and that you have nothign to feel ashamed of because you are still remaining loyal to him and you love him very much and nothing can compare to that.

[NikkiLinkle]

My relationship with my boyfriend isn't really that great. He can be quite mean at times and everything he does annoys me. I'm not in love with him, but I am very fond of him and attached to him for some reason. I know I'm the one with the problem. He is always asking me if I love him, he always thinks I'm cheating on him?! Over the last year or so, I've just lost interest in him and our relationship. We don't have anything in common, except for being silly which can be fun. But I really long for that feeling when you really like someone. We've got a nice life together, and I know he loves me a lot. It is so difficult to make a decision about it. I'm not even sure I could cope with being single. I'm nothing special, so it'd be hard to find someone again.

[Judge Magistrate]

I had a crush on a girl I saw every week. She already had a boyfriend but I still tried to sweet talk her. Suffice to say I never saw her again after that lol.

[Rowan]

My relationship with my boyfriend isn't really that great. He can be quite mean at times and everything he does annoys me. I'm not in love with him, but I am very fond of him and attached to him for some reason. I know I'm the one with the problem. He is always asking me if I love him, he always thinks I'm cheating on him?! Over the last year or so, I've just lost interest in him and our relationship. We don't have anything in common, except for being silly which can be fun. But I really long for that feeling when you really like someone. We've got a nice life together, and I know he loves me a lot. It is so difficult to make a decision about it. I'm not even sure I could cope with being single. I'm nothing special, so it'd be hard to find someone again.

I made far too many assumptions in my post, Although for someone lacking so much interest in their partner, it makes me wonder how you two have been together for 4 years and even still, if it was just this last year you've lost interest, why do you keep the relationship going? You need to have a talk with him and get everything out in the open. No matter what happens, its the only way things will advance. You sound like you dont think much of yourself by saying "im nothing special" before you should find a partner you should learn to apperciate yourself. I cant fully explain the psycological reasons why this leads to a successful relationship, but its most definitly an important aspect. It almost sounsd to me as if you're looking for someone else before you break up with him. This isn't like a job you hate, you cant just string along until something better comes up. Your next move is undoubedtly having a conversation with your boyfriend about this. Tell him that you think hes too mean to you, tell him you think you both lack similar interests (although after 4 years, I would wonder what kept the relationship together in the first place) and then see what happens. Theres really no other move for you to make.

[NikkiLinkle]

I'm not looking for someone else before I break up with him. I'd never do that.

I have spoken to my boyfriend many times before about his lack of respect for me. But he's an angry arrogant person. He's good to me sometimes, but when he does disrespect me, it makes me very unsure.

I know it sounds easy to just leave, but it isn't. It's hard to say that I have failed in this relationship.

I'm not trying to get any sympathy or anything. I just wanted to get it out there. A silly crush is a symptom of my unhappiness. I know I'm the only one who can change things. I guess I'm just scared. Our relationship has survived this long because I've allowed it to.

[Alpha]

Did you steal my life, Nikki? Girlfriend of 4 years, not really 'in love', have only a little in common, but somehow what we do have, and our history, holds the relationship together.

I broke it off at one stage, but some shit went down and it didn't last more than a month.

Now I have a crush on a mutual friend, who is in a 3 year relationship with a mutual friend. I think part of it is that I see my own relationship mirrored in theirs, and once when drunk we started flirting. Once sober we realised what was better for us and have never discussed it. But I'm loyal. I wouldn't cheat, and wouldn't try anything before breaking off my current relationship (again).

But short story: yes. It sucks.

[Rocky]

Hmm, have I ever had a forbidden crush before? Well I have had one on OceanEyes28 from here, but it was never meant to be. She is a mod and I am a troll. We would have some capulets and montagues shit going down. It'd be glorious

[OceanEyes28]

Hmm, have I ever had a forbidden crush before? Well I have had one on OceanEyes28 from here, but it was never meant to be. She is a mod and I am a troll. We would have some capulets and montagues shit going down. It'd be glorious

Rocky will always be the one that got away. Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.






Yes I have.

Also, life is too short to be in a relationship you're not interested in anymore. You don't have kids (right?) or a mortgage (right?) or a marriage (amirite?) and I'm assuming you're still fairly young.... so give yourselves a chance to meet the right people? I know this feeling:

It's hard to say that I have failed in this relationship.

It ****ing sucks. It's kept me involved in failing endeavors longer than what would have been wise. But that feeling sucking is not a reason to keep being in a relationship. It hurts, but not forever.

That's just my opinion, though, I don't know your relationship. Good luck.

[Polk]

It's hard to say that I have failed in this relationship.

Is it really failing in a relationship if you're not happy? I don't know you or your situation personally, but this guy sounds like a douche bag. Needy, gets angry easily, accuses you of cheating on him? He sounds so dreamy . Rowan makes a good point in his second post, that if you want things to either get better or end, you need to make your feelings clear to him. But like I said, I don't know you personally, so it's easy for me to say "DUMP THAT ASSHOLE."

And trust me, as someone who hasn't been actively with anyone in over a year, being single isn't so bad.

As for the thread, I've had a crush on Andrew Jackson for like, years. I told him right after his wife died that we should get married and run away together. I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just really wanted to make a Peggy Eaton joke. And I'm pretty proud of myself in that respect.

[Tallulah]

All the tiiiiiime...

I had a crush on Gareth, who was a teaching assistant when I was at school. (I only knew his first name because I was so taken with him I wanted to know everything about him, and I saw it on his paperwork) My two so-called 'friends' were complete asses about it and every History lesson (he was training to be a History teacher) they kept threatening to tell him. Oh, God, it was embarrassing... -_-

Right about now I have a huge crush on one of the junior managers at work. He's so nice to everyone (except his ex fiancee, of course, but she's a cow! And she's way out of the picture, too), and he's not too bad to look at, either. He has a nice butt, too! Knowing he's single, I would make a move, but a) I don't think he likes me in that way, and b) he's been hurt so much by his ex (who used to be my friend), I don't think he wants to be in a relationship at the moment.

I'm glad this thread popped up. Only one other person knows about my crush on the guy from work, and I can't open up to anyone else, especially not the people at work, because they would have that hold over me. I can't have that - it would be like going back to school!

Also, @ NikkiLinkle, if the relationship isn't working for you, then end it. I wasted almost three years of my life with a guy, whilst he adored me, everything he did just annoyed the hell out of me. He was intolerant of others, lazy, useless, did not know things that I would expect someone of his age to know, and didn't even try to either find a job, or do the housework. I had told him to do one thing or the other. Bottom line is, if you're not happy in the relationship, then get out of it on the best terms you can.

[Assassin]

I actually do have a crush on some1 i shouldn't have n day by day my feelings for him increase. I don't think i can really call it a crush any more but whatever it iz it doesn't really matter. I've tried my level best to stop thinking n dreaming about him. I tried everything i could to stop myself from doing this but i can't. I can't really tell you the reason y i shouldn't have a crush on him but all i can really say is i can't stop myself from liking him.

[Joe]

Is it really failing in a relationship if you're not happy? I don't know you or your situation personally, but this guy sounds like a douche bag. Needy, gets angry easily, accuses you of cheating on him? He sounds so dreamy . Rowan makes a good point in his second post, that if you want things to either get better or end, you need to make your feelings clear to him. But like I said, I don't know you personally, so it's easy for me to say "DUMP THAT ASSHOLE."

And trust me, as someone who hasn't been actively with anyone in over a year, being single isn't so bad.

Yeah, pretty much all of that. Though I've only been single for about a month or so now, it's not so bad.

As per the topic, I guess it would depend on what you mean by someone I shouldn't. I don't really have many crushes, though I've had a thing for a few different people online (It's how I met my ex actually), and maybe that would qualify.

[RamesesII]

I have a crush on Meier Link he knows it I know it but there is nothing we can do about it, we live worlds apart he is married with kids and I am married with kids I doubt it will ever happen. I <3 you Babe

Seriously though I have never understood a crush is it feelings towards someone or just being attracted to someone, and if so does the meaning of a crush change when you move from adolescent to adult hood. If it is just attraction my biggest forbidden crush is wit Susan Sarandon she is so hot for her age.
But if it is feelings then I have no crush I only have feelings for my wife.

[Yoko]

I tend to avoid situations like that. Mainly because I hate drama like that, but sometimes it can't be helped. When I first started dating my ex, I was still in high school, doing those summer camps. I was young and naive. LOL. I almost hooked up with a few people at said summer camps. The only reason why I didn't was because they had girlfriends back home as well. I was like, 'I like you and all, but I don't want to **** up what I have and what you have'. Looking back now, I kind of regret it because I ended up breaking up with that boyfriend eventually.

On the other side of the scale, there have been times when people end up liking me when they shouldn't. I've been single for almost 2 years now. It tends to happen a lot. Especially when I happen to be a really easy going person, and their current girlfriend is a complete overprotective jealous bitch. I'm usually the one to say 'You shouldn't have a crush on me...You're not single'. Which would end in 'But if I was single...'. It happened to me pretty recently.

If you're not happy in a relationship, there's no point in letting it drag on. You're eventually going to get sick of that person and the relationship/friendship may be beyond repair. If you end it at the right time, it could end up being a mutual thing and you could end up being friends. Ultimately, it's still up to you.

[The Dark Crystal]

Guilty as charged, but I never acted on the feeling while in a relationship, though it came close. I was in a three year, some odd month relationship, and a year of that was spent apart distantly, so i would say that is partly the reason.

Just look at it like this.

Some relationships are like cars without gas, you can sit in it as long as you like, but it will never go anywhere!

[Pete]

As long as you don't have a crush on a sibling or close relative, it's all good.

If you're not happy in the relationship, leave. You have every right to be happy and to live your own life. If you find yourself limiting yourself or your own potential, then clearly that person isn't right for you. Having a crush or wanting to smash out someone else isn't bad or unnatural, nor does it mean that you don't love the person you're with. It just means that you're attracted to someone you find attractive.

It's only a problem if you're with someone and decide to act on your feelings for someone else. Cheating ain't cool.

[OnOneRyder]

Nothing wrong with being attracted to other people, it's normal. It's about whether or not you act on that which will define you as a good or bad person. Regardless of being in a happy relationship or not, cheating is cheating so break it off before you move on to someone else.

And yes, I've been attracted to girls I knew I defffffinitely shouldn't have been. Again, it's all about how you handle it. Met a girl at a bar who wasn't even old enough to be in there, saw her a few more times and slept together before I ever found out how young she was. Needless to say we don't speak any more.

[Cereal~Killer]

Yes. My older brother's girlfriend. And not just a "been with her for two months" girlfriend. They were serious and had been living together for a few years. They're both 3 or 4 or so years older than I am. Ah, but what can I say? She was a hot blonde. Like really hot. But whatever.

[Ann]

I've had a crush on someone else several times before, but when the crushee comes to someone I shouldn't have crush on, I'm actually experiencing it now for the first time. And yes it considerably sucks. I'm single and actually still going through break up. He's currently dating with my acquaintance. So when I finally can forget the past and fall in love again I just feel that it's wrong and impossible. I feel really bad for falling for someone else's boyfriend. I'm afraid of ruining their relationship although I have no intention to do so. This is the worst feeling ever.

[sayian]

i think what makes it a crush, is that there's that thing about the person you like that makes them not available to you.. when i first moved to NW Ark.. in the 11th grade.. i meet one of the most beautiful girls that went to my school. she was a lil asian chik we called Jai.. a tall black guy(very handsome might i ad) and a lil fine ass asian chik lol. we went to chucky cheese alot like two big ass kids but we didnt give a shiit..lol . she jus came up to me with a big smile, introduced herself and that was it... we've been BEST friends since. well, shes out of touch married and long gone now(10 years later).about 6 years ago, i admitted that i had a crush on her back then and she said.."Me too boy you should have said something".. one huge regret.... LISTEN AND LEARN KIDS----> dont be such a pucci, just say it gottdammit...

[Unknown Entity]

I've had a few crushes, but I don't think there's anything wrong with crushes. Crushes don't ruin relationships - people do, depending on whether they act on it or not. I have a crush on Ethan Hawke, Evangeline Lily and even Alistair from Dragon Age. Will I ever have a chance with these people/characters? See what I mean?

I had a crush on a teacher of mine who was married with two kids. She was really beautiful, and if anything else about her, it was her voice I fell for the hardest - it was literally mesmerising to me, haha. It wasn't something I could help. It is something I'll never act on because of how ridiculous it is too.

I don't think there's anyone you "shouldn't" have a crush on. Depends how you take it.

[Halie]

I've had the biggest crush on a guy in my year for almost six years now, and it's not that it's "taboo" to have a crush on him, it's just that it's been a while and yet he barely knows I exist. So I really should have moved on by now but for some reason whenever I see him I get all 12-year-old-school-girlish, my words fumble and I have no idea where to look because I don't wanna make eye contact with him. It's pretty sad, I know, but I just can't help it lol.

A couple of years ago he spoke to me on msn, and to this day I still maintain that he thought I was somebody else because he never spoke to me all through high school unless he had to ('cause we sat next to each other in maths). Still, I'm hoping it's gonna be a Ross and Rachel situation. After nine years of having a crush on him I'll finally pluck up the courage to do something about it and then we'll have one of the most epic romances ever. Only three more years to go!

[Lychai]

yes, non-fictional characters and celebrities 8D

[Clint]

I had the biggest crush on Crush. Brian Adams, the wrestler, who was famous briefly in the 1990's under the name Crush. I didn't really have a crush on him, because I'm not a homo. I just thought it would be funny to say that I had a crush on Crush.