Why can't men be sluts? -more on the mature side-

[Meier Link]

Ok I am going to stick this into General chat even though the responses I am looking for should come from some of the regulars in ID. It is a given this topic is not about prostitution.

I was watching a movie tonight and it sparked a little question in me. In this movie both the main woman and the main male were in high school and both where very promiscuous and had been with about the same number of partners to start off with.

As the female started to have sex with more people she was labeled a whore / slut while in contradiction the male was honored for his “sexual triumphs / conquests”. In the end the male actually trumped the woman and had many more partners then the female because her reputation as a slut made her less provocative to men. The male’s reputation in the same instance grew as he was “more experienced” and women actually didn’t think less of him.

Even though it was a movie this still runs rampant in real life and is not limited to just high school. According to given popular excuses women gain the title because they are “loose” but no one stops to think of the multitude of reasons why that should be and almost always relate it back to having sex.

I think it is funny that one woman can have sex with seven different people only once and gain the title of slut while one woman can sleep with the same guy 1,000 times and never achieve the “official title”.

So I want your thoughts on the matter and I am going to leave the field open to interpretation as of now. I will post more of my thoughts on the issue and might restrict this down at a later time.

As for now; feel free to comment.

[Treize]

I think that men can be "sluts." I know where I go to school, if a guy is having sex with multiple women, especially while he is in a relationship with one woman, he is considered a player. This is pretty comparable to a woman being considered a slut. Usually being called a player is not a good thing... To me, it would be like calling a woman a slut.

I think it is funny that one woman can have sex with seven different people only once and gain the title of slut while one woman can sleep with the same guy 1,000 times and never achieve the “official title”.

I think this is completely different. When I think of the word slut, I think of a woman who is sleeping with multiple men, not just one man. I think it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to have sex with just one guy multiple times. A slut is a woman who is not devoted to any one man and will just have sex with pretty much anyone.

[Che]

It's just a stereotype. AKA stupid people carry it on, while the people who actually know (the majority) don't make enough impact on the retarded people for it to go away.

I think it goes back to the fact that in a males' brain they are ingrained to "spread their seed". Anything to do with sex with a male is considered OK, but when a female has sex with anything other than the same man that wants to have sex with them they flip out.

It really shouldn't be this way, IMO. But that's how it is.

[Pete]

Well, I'm gonna take a stab at this. I'll leave my own opinion to the very end.

On one hand, men are somewhat expected to do this, based on social norms and mores that societies have had for the longest time. Men are supposed to conquer shit, and a part of conquering includes banging lots of women.

For a man to be doing that is also a sign that he is virile (well, back then, assuming he had kids) and having lots of kids was just a Darwinian sign that he was "fit." If he is getting so many women, then he must clearly be doing something right and must clearly possess something that makes him that much more desirable than the rest of the population. I mean, this dude is the shit and should be lauded as such.

Plus, even looking at things from today's standards; myspace aside, getting laid isn't all that easy for a dude. It costs money for dates and getting to know a girl and in this economy, that's a bitch. When we see a dude who is bagging different girls at every opportunity, we have to wonder what makes him better than us at this game. And so some of us may admire him; maybe he's a star athlete, or maybe he's a handsome guy, shit, maybe it's so big that he can be classified as a legit tripod. I don't know, but there's something that makes other guys wonder how a guy does it so often, without chloroform.


As for girls, there has always been the idea that women are supposed to be competed over and respected and all of that. Even go back and watch all that national geographic crap; the best looking male bird, with the fullest and brightest feathers, and sweetest song will wind up getting the best looking girl bird, and they'll make some good lookin baby birds. If a girl winds up cheapening the whole competition by just saying 'well, you both win... and hell, why not at the same time', then the whole spirit of the competition is somewhat cheapened and kind of not as special.

Basically, the notion of slutty women being a bad thing, is that way back in the day, and I suppose even today, can be somewhat explained in 3 major points.

1. It's really, really, REALLY easy for an average looking woman to get laid. All they have to do is go pretty much anywhere, find a guy and ask if he wants to have sex with them. Truth be told, there's a chance this would freak some dudes out (nothing is free/ where are the cops/ who's gonna kill me/ etc) but I could guarantee you'd find a handful of willing guys.

Because it's so easy when a girl is like that, there's really nothing special about her. When there is no challenge or connection (outside of the bumpin uglies) there's no real emotion and it's kind of just going through the motions. It might be fun at the moment, but that's all. Girls like that are known pretty much as last resort girls after a drunken and lonely night. You'll know you'll get some, but you feel pretty bad the next day because you know how easy it was, and that you were just using each other.

2. It really goes against everything society has told women to be promiscuous. Girls have been told since forever to not have sex with everyone they meet. Being a dude, I don't know everything girls are told about it, but there is enough pressure put on girls NOT to just go and **** everyone, that it becomes special to them.

Even with the Disney-fication of everything, girls are told to wait for their prince charming and then get married and live happily ever after, which I would assume means lots and lots of sex. By going against this and just sleeping around kind of shows that the girl has regard for older values, and that if a girl is giving her body away to just anyone, what does that say about the rest of her values?

3. This one doesn't have much to do with psychology or even values, but it's total guy thoughts. I don't want my **** going where dozens of other dicks have been. I understand that fluids don't linger in there for years, or even days, but still.

I've had sex and hooked up with girls that my friends have also, uh experienced (not at the same time!) On one hand, we were able to laugh and joke about the experience, but on the other hand, we were all like "oh shit, his **** has been where mine has... our dicks totally touched"




The way I see it. Do what you gotta do. If banging tons of people makes you happy, do it. If being a hermit and whacking off to tentacle porn works for you, then do it, but don't tell me about it. I myself prefer to at least get to know the girl and establish some form of a legit relationship before sex, but I'm not above makeout sessions.

[Govinda]

I think it used to be the way you saw in your film, Meier, but in university at least I'm sensing a change. These days it's common for a promiscuous male to be called a 'manslut', and telling one of your girlfriends, 'Yeah, I know he's good looking, but he's a total manslut,' is the same as saying, 'Yeah, I know he's good looking, but you get anywhere near him and he's going to treat you like dirt. You'll be a notch on the bedpost.'

I like the change. It's nice that sluts, both male and female, are called out these days.

[Rocky]

You guys should check this song out and get back to me.

Even though there are several men I've met that deserve to have the title of "manslut", there's no way in hell I'm gonna call them out on it. I don't wanna sacrifice my friendship because of his sexual escapades; if he wants to bang some women, go for it. It's all preference really; if you wanna be that guy that waits until getting married to have sex with the one you love, then fine by me, but it's probably going to be one awkward wedding night, but that's okay with me, that's what I'm prepared for. If you wanna be the guy that has sex with all the women, then go for it, but when you have to tell the woman you love that you have herpes/some crazy VD/a child/etc because of your past, well I hope you plan to be ready for that. Ladies, likewise.

And who cares about getting judged, this isn't high school anymore.. If you really are taking what people that don't know you near as well as you that knows you, then you should probably seek help.

[Sinister]

But meanwhile, there is an important distinction to be made. A woman can sleep with seven different guys and not be a slut... There has to be a relationship. If she just drags a different guy home from a bar seven times, that's slightly different from being in seven different involved relationships that just end disappointingly.

As for guys... Being promiscuous and unfaithful still damns them to the same fate. They may be 'admired' for their vice, but they're branded and recognized for being untrustworthy. And unless they change their reputation, move to a new area or pick on some poor woman who doesn't know them...they'll get their wish and no one will want to be in a lasting relationship with them. It's my experience that 8 times out of 10, people usually end up where they deserve in relationships.

-Sin