When someone speaks to you...

[LocoColt04]

...where do you eventually fix your gaze? Many of us have wandering eyes, but where do yours typically end up?

And yeah, I mean, we all catch glimpses of things, peripheral vision and whatnot. What do you actively look at when someone's talking to you?

~

My gaze tends to settle on the lips. I like to watch individual speech patterns in a rather literal sense, and for some reason I'm more apt to remember what someone is saying when I can -see- them say it.

When I'm the one talking, I tend to watch the eyes. In many cases this will help bring someone's gaze into focus, though I'm often entertained by watching others' eyes as I speak or as they converse with one another.

[Andromeda]

Generally, I maintain eye contact with everyone. It's just something I was instilled with growing up, it's polite to maintain eye contact so they you're listening to them. So that's what I end up doing. I do tend to wander just to keep from feeling like a robot, but it's just a quick look around and back to focus. The problem I'll have sometimes though is that I'm an artist, so I'm always breaking down everything I'm looking at into simple shapes and figuring out how I'd draw them. Depending on how strong that artistic urge is, I can very easily be distracted by finding harmony in their face rather than actually what they're saying.

Outside of conversation, I do have a tendency to stare, but it's because I'm looking their silhouette because I'm drawing the person in my mind. I'm always trying to store as much information for drawing people as I can. Trying to breakdown every person into different shapes and forms. Happened a lot when I was on the train in Chicago, tons of people to watch.

[Rocky]

This is a good question actually, I keep catching myself wandering around gazing throughout the room while I talk, as I start to make eye contact near the end of my sentences. And when I begin listening, I have like laser beam stares right through the eyes of someone; I have to mentally make note to briefly break eye contact so I don't feel like I'm dis-contently staring the speaker down. It's something I continually work on I guess, I'm self conscious about stuff like that.

[Heartless Angel]

Depends. Mostly on whether or not it's a female, and whether there's visible cleavage. And whether or not it's somebody who's actually going to get mad if I stare. If boob staring is a no go, half the time I won't even be looking at the speaker.

[loaf]

Eye Contact always. I know how to slip away a titty and ass look without being noticed.

[Pikachu]

I start by looking at their eyes, but I typically wander for a bit since I find it weird to just look there with the occasional blink. After a bit of wandering, I go back to looking them in the eyes to make sure that they get that I'm still paying attention and then wander again. It's a cycle.

[Heartless Angel]

I never saw the point of trying to keep eye contact while still glancing. They already know you're looking at their chest. They're used to it. They're either going to flip shit or ignore you, it really doesn't matter much how long you do it, you're still just going to get one of those two reactions. Stare with confidence, friends.

[Boxman]

Had practiced interviews at a job skills class and found I do too much eye contact, I suppose in an effort to keep from doing too little.

[Alpha]

I have a real problem maintaining eye contact in conversations. I just find it awkward, so I look at mouths, hands... I also chew and spin pens when meeting at work. I have dropped them so many times. Also, often in Pacific cultures it is considered rude for younger people to look older people in the eyes when conversing.

[octoberpumpkin]

I try to do eye contact, but it makes me uncomfortable, so I'll purposely blur my vision a tiny bit. I can still see just fine, but that way I can't actually see directly in to their eyes, but as far as their concerned I'm making eye contact.

Hurts after a little bit though

[LocoColt04]

Am I really the ONLY person who watches a person's lips when they talk?

I am... honestly a little surprised by this.

[Boxman]

I imagine there are some deaf people who can read lip.

[LocoColt04]

That's actually why I do it. Not because I am deaf, but because I remember what I "read" more effectively than what I don't. Also, it's a super useful skill to have when you can't hear someone over a crowded room, or when you wanna creep on someone else's conversation. The latter is especially useful in retail when catching thieves before they successfully steal anything.

[Pikachu]

Am I really the ONLY person who watches a person's lips when they talk?

I am... honestly a little surprised by this.

I'd feel a little awkward doing that. I feel like I'd get stuck staring at their mouth and lose track of what they're saying.

[Lily]

i feel awkward maintaining eye contact, i either stare off into the distance or tey to be stood/sat next to them so i dont have to look around awkwardly, i bet i come across as really rude D:

[OceanEyes28]

I tend to look at eyes, because I can get a better read on the intention behind what they're saying, and it helps me listen. I mean, I look away every so often so I'm not STARING THEM DOWN, but I watch people pretty closely. Although, if I find myself doing that weird thing where I'm switching from their right eye to their left, I'll just pick a spot between their eyebrows and look there.

I've noticed that if I'm angry, but I'm trying to calm down, I'll look away from a person. If I'm making a point, I'll make direct eye contact.

[Rowan]

i cant look someone directly in the eyes when speaking to them, its too romantic.

[Heartless Angel]

The latter is especially useful in retail when catching thieves before they successfully steal anything.

Shit, when I still worked at a theatre I had a couple drunk morons discussing their plans to steal candy while one of them distracted me. Funny shit really. Guy came up, asked me for a large popcorn, halfway through filling it he stopped me and started asking for the pricing on various combos. I was of course watching his buddy the entire time. Right as he was going for it, guy asked me how much just the popcorn would be. Threw the half full bucket at the guy going for the candy, nailed him right in the head. Told him it was on the house.

Got chewed out for that by one of the asst managers. Main manager thought it was hilarious.

[hTop]

I usually look down at my own feet. Wait, is that not normal? I'd just assumed everyone else was doing the same....

[Freya]

I have a real problem maintaining eye contact in conversations. I just find it awkward, so I look at mouths, hands...

Oh my gosh I aways thought I was the only one who finds it creepy to look someone in the eye the whole time! I normally wander off to nose, mouth, eyebrows, sometimes lips, sometimes breast (men; I seldom stare at women's breasts, not interested in them )... just not a direct stare into the other one's eyes. And I don't like being stared in the eyes either. It just feels awkward.

[RainingOasis]

Usually look at the eyes occasionally but not all the time, kinda like looking at the lips and body. Feels a lot less awkward

[Unknown Entity]

When I was younger, my tutor told me that I shouldn't be so shy and make eye contact more. Apparently it makes you more confident? But from then on, I've always tried to look people in the eye in conversations. Sometimes, I have to remember to blink, and so my eyes wonder a lot during conversations, but they usually either settle between someone's eyes or on their mouth, and I'll flick between them.

In the few occasions when something gets nasty, I always look at the eyes. Someone else's eyes flicker to everything around you but you, to find a way out or something to hurt you with. I once grabbed a pair of scissors off the counter at work before an irate customer got to them because their eyes went to them a few times during a heated discussion between them and a colleague (also a reason why you shouldn't leave sharp objects just laying around). You can also see guilt and intention, which helps you understand the other person better.