Masturbation

I've never masturbated in my life. Never will, probably. :cool:

I just hope all you guys wash your hands after you're done playing with yourselves---

I look at this thread and all the responses, and I just think of all the people who are going to hell. Masturbation is a sin. Although it is not mentioned directly in the Lord's holy word, lust is. Lust, in fact, is one of the seven deadly sins.

When somebody does "that," it's out of lust, or as some people call it, a "high libido." Masturbation is a perversion. People generalize and state that everybody does it in order to convince themselves that they're not sinning, and therefore not going to hell, because they figure, not everybody can go to hell. The sad news is, everybody who does it is indeed doomed.

I hope you all have a fun time with Hitler, Khan, Stalin, and bin Laden in the lake of fire. I hope it doesn't burn too bad.

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Originally Posted by Bubble Boy

I've never masturbated in my life. Never will, probably. :cool:

I just hope all you guys wash your hands after you're done playing with yourselves---

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I don't. In fact, I prepare food for other people and then masturbate later to the thought of them unknowingly putting my fluids in their mouths. But everyone does that and if they say they don't, they're a goddamn liar.

My uncle taught me how to masturbate when I was six

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Originally Posted by OceanEyes28

But everyone does that and if they say they don't, they're a goddamn liar.

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Everybody breathes air. Everybody needs nourishment to live a long and healthy life. Everybody is susceptible to death by asphyxiation if air passages are somehow cut off. Everybody lives, and everybody dies, but not everybody goes to hell.

This is a perfect example of the precise fallacious justification that I mentioned earlier that people use to avoid the ugly truth that they are in fact destined for doom.

Your choice to carry fourth your transgression is the very thing that will doom you. You can still repent.

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Originally Posted by The Clint Eastwood

Everybody breathes air. Everybody needs nourishment to live a long and healthy life. Everybody is susceptible to death by asphyxiation if air passages are somehow cut off. Everybody lives, and everybody dies, but not everybody goes to hell.

This is a perfect example of the precise fallacious justification that I mentioned earlier that people use to avoid the ugly truth that they are in fact destined for doom.

Your choice to carry fourth your transgression is the very thing that will doom you. You can still repent.

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If it came down to repenting or jerking it raw, I'd take option two every time. Besides, I can do whatever I want, and then on my deathbed say a little prayer and I'm set! Then you get the best of both worlds =D

Though satan's already going to give me the room next to the ice machine anyway.

Yeah, Joe is going to hell anyway. If he masterbates, it'll only promote him to Extra Evil status in hell, and he'll get cool stuff.

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Originally Posted by Bubble Boy

I've never masturbated in my life. Never will, probably.

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You're just depriving your mini-you. D=

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I just hope all you guys wash your hands after you're done playing with yourselves---

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Semen is good for the hair apparently. Why wash?!

That aside, yes, of course I wash my hands afterwards. Not because it's "eww, germy!" but because I don't live alone, and I have respect for mine (and others) possessions around my house.

So can you masturbate in heaven?

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Originally Posted by RagnaToad

So can you masturbate in heaven?

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If you can't, I might be a very sad person. Maybe this is why people believe in reincarnation. LOL!!

Maybe that's what hell is, being horny all the time but not being allowed to masturbate.

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Originally Posted by RagnaToad

Maybe that's what hell is, being horny all the time but not being allowed to masturbate.

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Oh god, where's my bible o.o Don't speak of such torture!

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Originally Posted by RagnaToad

Maybe that's what hell is, being horny all the time but not being allowed to masturbate.

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Oh, I thought that was marriage.

Why do people think jokes about marriage being some sort of prison are funny?

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Originally Posted by che

Why do people think jokes about marriage being some sort of prison are funny?

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The truth is funnier than any joke, che.

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Originally Posted by seanb

My uncle taught me how to masturbate when I was six

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I don't know what to think about this statement hahaha.

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Maybe that's what hell is, being horny all the time but not being allowed to masturbate.

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Maybe Hell is constant BDSM but without the masturbation or sex.

I just love how religion is being brought into the masturbation debate. I'm a Catholic and i still masturbate. Obviously yes it is still lusting after a person (or people in particular), but on the other hand, i don't actively seek out women for one night stands. I prefer honing my craft in private until i meet the right woman for me. :)

Don't have sex. You WILL get pregnant. And die. But just in case you do, here's some rubbers.

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Originally Posted by che

Don't have sex. You WILL get pregnant. And die. But just in case you do, here's some rubbers.

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Too late. I already have a little belly ;) Have a nice funeral for me, yeah?

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Originally Posted by Joe

If it came down to repenting or jerking it raw, I'd take option two every time. Besides, I can do whatever I want, and then on my deathbed say a little prayer and I'm set! Then you get the best of both worlds =D

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One prayer on a death bed doesn't take away a lifetime of wickedness. You wretched heathens cannot buy your way into heaven. The path is not granted to anybody. You have to earn it. If you give into barbarian desires and sinful thoughts day after day, you've earned nothing.

I do not understand why you just don't heed my word, Joseph. It would make your life so much easier.

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Originally Posted by Cereal~Killer

Do you ever get to watch them while they do it? :drool:

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sometimes...in my dreams :D, while i wack it :spyfap:

MERGED POSTS

I love how this dude is preaching about going to hell for wackin it on a FF Fan site XD. show me a god like the one you proclaim there to be in the bible in any FF game.

I love how you get trolled so easily.

If I go to Hell, I wonder if Satan will sit and masturbate with me?

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Originally Posted by RagnaToad

Maybe that's what hell is, being horny all the time but not being allowed to masturbate.

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That's Catholicism

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Originally Posted by che

I love how you get trolled so easily.

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I love how Clint Eastwood trolls so easily.

I also love how this thread is still going despite all the trolling.

Masturbation is good for the soul it cleanses all the bad demons out.

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Originally Posted by seanb

That's Catholicism

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Yes, yes it is. Damn catholics. I used to be one. Now I'm not. I'm kind of glad for it.

When did this turn into a discussion about religion?

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Originally Posted by R.Kyra

Yes, yes it is. Damn catholics. I used to be one. Now I'm not. I'm kind of glad for it.

When did this turn into a discussion about religion?

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I dunno... maybe when I found my crusty alter-boy robe

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Originally Posted by seanb

I dunno... maybe when I found my crusty alter-boy robe

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Wow, the priest didn't even try to clean that mess up?

It's a confessional, not a glory hole.



And yes, I masturbate. Anyone else ever get bored wit their regular porn parameters and venture out into new territory?

Out of curiosity one day, I found midget porn. I laughed so hard that I lost my wood.

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Originally Posted by Pete

Wow, the priest didn't even try to clean that mess up?

It's a confessional, not a glory hole.



And yes, I masturbate. Anyone else ever get bored wit their regular porn parameters and venture out into new territory?

Out of curiosity one day, I found midget porn. I laughed so hard that I lost my wood.

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Apparently it was just really really strong holy water.

and Midgets rule. they're so portable

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Originally Posted by KRudd

Masturbation is good for the soul it cleanses all the bad demons out.

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This is so true.. My kids would probably end up being little devilish terrors.

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Originally Posted by Pete

Wow, the priest didn't even try to clean that mess up?

It's a confessional, not a glory hole.



And yes, I masturbate. Anyone else ever get bored wit their regular porn parameters and venture out into new territory?

Out of curiosity one day, I found midget porn. I laughed so hard that I lost my wood.

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I found pterodactyl porn once. I laughed so hard I started crying.