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A properly trained and cared for cat does not defecate outside the litter box, scratch your hands/face, or any of the other behaviors mentioned in this thread. There's so many misconceptions about cats in this thread that I don't even know where to start.
Yes I am a cat person, no I don't hate dogs, and I do not treat my cats like kids. They are still members of my family, just as dogs or birds or lizards are to others.
As for the OP, it sounds like the cat is not being brushed enough. If shedding is a major problem, get a Furminator in addition to whatever slicker brush you already have. They are expensive but they work wonders, just be careful or you'll leave the poor thing with bald spots from brushing too much in one spot.
As for the litter, try changing the type. Certain litter types do tend to get stuck between a cat's toes; this is not their fault, it just means you need to try something else. There are many different types of litter, all it takes is a little experimenting. Also, a properly cleaned litter box does not smell. It needs to be cleaned once or twice per day, not once a week.
Cats can be trained not to jump on counters, but I have an easier solution. Give the cat something of her own to jump and climb and scratch on. A cat tree will give the cat her own space and somewhere she can play safely. When the cat jumps on a countertop or anywhere else, pick her up and put her on the cat tree. Do not yell at her or use a spray bottle, just ignore her. When the cat jumps up on the tree by herself, praise her, offer treats and pet her. Positive reinforcement goes a very long way. Eventually she will stop jumping on other things altogether.
If she's not a friendly cat she may need more socializing. Cats can also sense whether you like them or not, so she may be getting stressed or upset by you projecting your ire at her. Spend a little time each day with her, just pet her and give her some treats or play with her a little bit. Cats get bored easily and need playtime with their owners, just like dogs. Have your husband play with her too if he doesn't already, and definitely make him brush her. If she's a longhaired cat she needs to be brushed every single day (use the Furminator only once a week, maybe a bit more at the beginning).
If scratching is a problem, the aforementioned cat tree with help with that. Try a couple of scratching posts or mats as well. Whenever you hear her scratching, pick her up and bring her to a scratching post and rub her paws on it like she's scratching. She'll get the idea. If she doesn't like being picked up you may want to wait until she's more comfortable with you so you don't cause undue stress to either of you or risk injury. You can also try Soft Paws, which are little caps that glue on to their claws so they can't damage furniture. They do fall off as the cat sheds her claw sheaths but they are not expensive at all and work extremely well for problem scratchers.
It sounds to me like you're not even trying to compromise. You only mentioned issues that are very easily solved. Cats are far less expensive than dogs so why don't you give one of them up? Yeah, that's what I thought. There is absolutely no reason you can't leave peaceably with this cat. If cleaning up after her is such a problem, why don't you ask your other half to care for her instead? It sounds like he doesn't do enough to care for her so that's probably a lot of the problem. Explain to him that he needs to be more actively involved in caring for her. For example, leaving a full litter box for so long is not only gross but it is a health hazard.
The bottom line is, cats can be trained and learn to behave properly. Your dogs didn't learn obedience overnight, did they? Well neither do cats. You have to work with them and be patient. It is true that a cat will only do what it wants to, but you can use that to your advantage by offering her rewards for doing the right thing. It's really not that difficult, just takes the time and consist effort from both of you.
Contrary to the beliefs present in this thread, no pet is disposable, not even a "useless" cat. I can certainly imagine why you wouldn't get much help from cat lovers with an attitude like that.
~DragonHeart~
Edit: Realized the link given didn't start at the first post in the thread, readjusting for that.
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I had one black kitten that I was fond of and it was fond of me. I was the only one in my family that it liked at all. I called him Skeletor and black toe(dunno why) and he would leap up in my lap and fall asleep promptly. My father crushed it's head, backing out of the garage one day. I don't like cats... I like dogs, now.
But, besides my Orchids, I don't have any lifeforms that depend on me at the moment. When I get one, it'll be a dog.
-Sin
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I love Cats. The only thing about them that I do not like is that I am Alergic to their fur...So, I cannot Really go near them much...But I do love them though. Cats are Cute, and Cudly, and they are nice companions, especially when your feeling down or something. Well, thats just my Opinion. Anyway, Happy Posting :)
