How do people with STDs meet new lovers?

[che]

I've known a few friends who have contracted an STD. Some were worse than others obviously, I won't go into detail. A concern one of my friend's had when she contracted an STD was if she'd ever date anyone again, or even get married. It's a serious issue, because people without STDs obviously do not want them.

I can't imagine meeting someone, going on a date and eventually falling in love with this person and having to tell them we can't do naturally intimate things because I have an STD.

I know love is a strong emotion, and there are many couples who overcome these issues in different ways. Some with condoms, some choose to not do certain things.

But how do you meet people in the first place? There are internet dating websites but would the old fashioned way to meet people be a struggle most of the time?

[RagnaToad]

Can't you get rid of most STD's?

[che]

Can't you get rid of most STD's?

Yeah. I think it's something like 20% of American adults that have incurable STDs though.

[Victoria]

What Che said.

However, they are sexually transmitted, not saliva transmitted as most people seem to believe because they get easily spooked.

You can still make out. You can still drink from the same glass or whatever. BJs are fine too.

The only thing not fine, obviously, is straight intercourse. But there's condoms and shit for that. And if you want to have a child? Use those clinics where you can transfer your semen into a tube and from the tube into the woman.

No risk of STDs at all. =D

[Merlin]

What Che said.

However, they are sexually transmitted, not saliva transmitted as most people seem to believe because they get easily spooked.

You can still make out. You can still drink from the same glass or whatever. BJs are fine too.

The only thing not fine, obviously, is straight intercourse. But there's condoms and shit for that. And if you want to have a child? Use those clinics where you can transfer your semen into a tube and from the tube into the woman.

No risk of STDs at all. =D

Blanket statements about STDs is not only misleading but completely wrong. These diseases can be transmitted in a number of ways depending on the exact type. You can get herpes(among other nasty diseases) from eating farmed salmon, for instance. Also, oral and anal sex is sexual contact and therefore spread the infection as well. I'm assuming you are at least familiar with the old stigma that HIV was a "homosexual" disease. If sexual contact was only direct intercourse, then the outbreak of HIV among homosexual individuals would most likely not have occurred.

If you wish to have a relationship with someone who has a STD, you should do your homework and learn everything you can about it so you know exactly what you can and cannot do. Check out sites such as the Center for Disease Control and dig around for a while. They have links to publications and research that is quite helpful. Of course, talking to a doctor trained in the detection and treatment of such diseases is the best advice I can give.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor do I have training in being a doctor. This information is for basic guidance and should not be used as an actual diagnosis. If you believe that you or someone you know has a STD, the person should be examined by a licensed professional.

[OceanEyes28]

Ooh. Sex ed. Viral STDs (herpes, HIV, Hep B, HPV) cannot be cured. But bacterial STDs (Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Trichomonaisis) are curable with antibiotics. (I bet most of you knew this)

Sooooo those with the clap, if treated in time, will love again.


I do know someone with herpes, and she remarried a few years ago. They're very happy together. I'm not sure how they handle their sex life, but I'm sure there certainly is one. But then, they're not looking to have kids at this point in their lives. That would complicate things for two people, if one had an STD, particularly the mother. But depending on which viral infection they have, I bet it would be doable.

I'm not sure how I'd handle telling someone or handle being told. It's something someone would definitely need to know on the front end of establishing a sexual relationship. I do know that anyone who would have sex with someone, knowing they could spread an STD should be taken off the sex market. What an asshole.

[Unknown Entity]

BJs are fine too.

Spit, swallow, or not get anything in the mouth from down there at all? STDs can be transmitted through the food you eat too, if some dirty ****er made it.

I guess it would be an issue for some people to meet another person with an incurable STD too. Perhaps if they know the person they got the STD from, they can get back together - it was in a soap once if I remember, when one guy with AIDs gave his 'girlfriend' AIDs, and then they got married. Sure, that's a soap, but it's possible.

Maybe some people with STDs don't even look for "love", but are selfish enough to go for a quick fling with someone who doesn't know better.

I'd say internet would be the best bet for someone with an STD, and who is finding it difficult to find love in the flesh.

[OceanEyes28]

The symptoms of viral STDs can be treated, but the virus can't be cured and eradicated from the body.

EDIT: Ragna: She has genital herpes.

Also, I'm gonna merge your posts.

EDIT: Haha omg, you deleting fiend.

[RagnaToad]

I deleted my posts because I just didn't know where to go with what I was writing. ^^

And you're right. Viruses cannot be cured, unlike bacteria, if I'm correct.

[Jin]

Can't blow jobs spread STDs if one has a cut or some exposed access to the blood stream in one's mouth? Or is that an urban legend?

[Victoria]

I suppose, if you put it that way. Or if there's some other kind of complications. I just meant under normal circumstances, that it is fine. (That is, if the girl is the one with the STD.. not the guy.)

[Rocky]

you can get the herp de durp (or another STD) from oral sex if there is an open sore in the mouth region.

The more you know.

[Tiffany]

I thought that it was something like needing to drink 3 litres of saliva from someone infected with HIV to contract it? That was a long time ago that I read that though.

[che]

I thought that it was something like needing to drink 3 litres of saliva from someone infected with HIV to contract it? That was a long time ago that I read that though.

That doesn't sound logically correct. Either STDs are transmitted through saliva, or they aren't. They wouldn't say saliva wouldn't give you an STD because you're only coming in contact with a small portion. Even 0.0001% would be a risk.

And on a lighter note, imagine looking at 3 litres of saliva and thinking about drinking it. Rofl.

[RagnaToad]

I think some STD's have a higher risk than others.

I don't know how safe oral sex is with what STD.

@ Tiffany: I heard a similar thing, only it was a bucket of sulliva when I heard it.

@ Chad: Think about a bucket. ^^

[Jin]

And you can't hide mouth herpes.

Except maybe with a mask.

[Meier Link]

Chad, I would like to add that your percentage of people with uncurable std's is incorrect. HPV is the most common form of STD and 8 out of 10 women (80%) that are sexually active have contracted HPV in their life time.

Most people don't even know they have it, mainly males because there is no test that can actually detect it in males. Women generally do not know this because they never actually see the symptoms.

Here is a site for anyone that is intersted. HPV.com - Get the Facts about HPV & Cervical Cancer

Also I think with the statistics at hand the topic should be changed to "How can someone with out an STD find a partner that also doesn't have an STD.

So here is a song for all the people that are involved in this convo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4

[che]

Chad, I would like to add that your percentage of people with uncurable std's is incorrect. HPV is the most common form of STD and 8 out of 10 women (80%) that are sexually active have contracted HPV in their life time.

Most people don't even know they have it, mainly males because there is no test that can actually detect it in males. Women generally do not know this because they never actually see the symptoms.

Here is a site for anyone that is intersted. HPV.com - Get the Facts about HPV & Cervical Cancer

It says "an estimated 8 out of 10 women will become infected with HPV in their lifetime". It doesn't say women from the U.S., or that 80% of the population of women have it at once. I was also strictly referring to the U.S. That being said I could still quite possibly be wrong.

[Aerif]

Chad, I would like to add that your percentage of people with uncurable std's is incorrect. HPV is the most common form of STD and 8 out of 10 women (80%) that are sexually active have contracted HPV in their life time.

Most people don't even know they have it, mainly males because there is no test that can actually detect it in males. Women generally do not know this because they never actually see the symptoms.

Here is a site for anyone that is intersted. HPV.com - Get the Facts about HPV & Cervical Cancer

Also I think with the statistics at hand the topic should be changed to "How can someone with out an STD find a partner that also doesn't have an STD.

So here is a song for all the people that are involved in this convo: YouTube - Mad World - Gary Jules

Statistically these numbers are about to get turned upside down in the UK, since every girl in their teens who isn't yet sexually active is getting immunised against HPV on the NHS.

Condoms are said to protect against a large number of STDs, so like Vicky said there are ways round some of the incurable STDs. Of course I wouldn't expect anyone with HIV to be sexually active after contracting the disease.

A good way to avoid ever being in the situation is by resisting the urge to shag every person who offers. If you wait until marriage then you'll probably live longer.