Guys, I need your help

[Pete]

This is super important, but we have a new member, Jecht. You may be familiar with him. He was a superstar blitzball player.

Not gonna lie, I want his autograph. But here's my problem.

I only have about 32000 gil, and need 5 mil.

So heres the deal, if you wanna donate out of the goodness of your heart, awesome.

If you want to put me through photo challenges for x amount, then I'll do that too. Only rule is I'm keeping my pants on, and not doing anything permanent like tattooing a weiner on my face.

I NEED this guys. FFX is my fave game, and blitzball is the best sport ever. Jecht is my hero

[Dodie16]

I knew there would come a day that my stash of worthless forum gil would come in handy!

I'm not good banker though. Tried sending you 60,000 and wound up only sending 60... WHOOPS!

EDIT: Is there some kind of cap with the gil? I tried again, and it still only sent 60...

[Rocky]

I knew there would come a day that my stash of worthless forum gil would come in handy!

I'm not good banker though. Tried sending you 60,000 and wound up only sending 60... WHOOPS!

Don't be fooled by her trickery Pete. She is using her EBG skillz to lull you in a false sense of security, only before taking all of your hard-earned SOLDIER money! This is a declaration of war!!

[Clint]

I gave you everything I had. I think. I'm not too good with banking fake money that I don't care about. But before I had over 3,000, and now it says I have a negative amount, so that probably means that you actually got more fake money from me then I actually had.

You're welcome.

Sorry, it was actually more like 32 thousand. And then I donated an extra 15 fake monies. You're even more welcome.

[Taco-Calamitous]

Dodie, it's because you were putting a comma in the amount. Take the comma out, and it will take everything. Pete now has all the fake money I owned. Go and fulfill your dream! Anyhoo...

Wuv, Yer Mom

[Polk]

This is a great cause so please take all of my fake TFF money

[Dodie16]

Dodie, it's because you were putting a comma in the amount. Take the comma out, and it will take everything.

Wuv, Yer Mom

You're a genius! Silly forum thinking a comma is a decimal point. :/

[Mystyrion]

You cannot haz my monies.

I need them to play arcade games when I am bored.
Not like I have that much anyways.

[Pete]

So far guys, this is going quite well! I really have to say I'm shocked with the turnout so far. A special thanks to Telegraph, who must have been socking it away in his TFF mattress!

Keep it coming guys, and seriously, feel free to make me work for my money!

[Order]

Fun fact:
Pete is the 20th richest user on the site.

I already donated, but you could work for it by telling a story...
How about the worst drunk-at-the-party story you got?
I mean, piss yourself, vomit on an attractive girl, bruise your face on the sidewalk bad.

Or, you could just tell me to F off...

[Josh_R]

You were already at 5 mil when I donated, but I had to anyway. Go and getteth your autographed picture good sir.

[RagnaToad]

I have no idea what this stuff about buying an autograph with forum Gil is.
But you will never get my Lunar Whale.

Speaking of which, why don't people's items they own appear anymore?

[Cyanist]

Yeah, that item thing makes me angry. Why don't they make a fuss over that instead of 'Intellectual Discussions' being dead?

Sorry I'm too late to donate.

[Pete]

I'm still waiting for my autograph...

[pixergirl]

i have donated 2,002 of my gil that's been lying around collecting dust ^_^ hope you manage to raise the funds

[Pete]

Thank you all! I'm still waiting for my autograph

But as requested, I'll provide you all with the tale of the most ****ed up I've ever been.

It was the fall of 2004. I was a fresh faced teenager thrown into the college party scene. I knew that between the motley crew of us that had become "best friends for life" (read: it lasted a year, until I started going out with the girl they all wanted), that I could outdrink them all.

We headed to a frat party, because we were all under 21, and they didn't care as long as we had the $5 cover fee. At said frat house, there was a stair rail which was made of pvc tubing, serving as a giant beer bong. I was presented with a challenge, and so I took it upon myself to tackle it.

It held 3, maybe 4 beers. I handled it with relative ease, because that was all we did my freshman year. It explains the 2.6 gpa that opening semester, if anything.

Anyways, I knocked one of these funnels out, and was feeling quite good. I had another beer or two with my friends, when they told me that they heard a girl say that I was cute. Naturally, being a retarded freshman at the time, I decided it was time to impress.

I went up and did another funnel. I would say at that point, I was at least 10-12 beers deep. But they were light, or ice, whatever, so Let's say 8. I was in my glory at this point. I told my friends that I would do one more funnel, since people were talking about me, and how I did two. There was a rumor that half the frat couldn't do one.

So I found myself on my knees once again, plugging the mouthpiece with my thumb, waiting for them to fill the funnel with beer. They shout that they're ready, so I put the pipe up to my mouth and pull my thumb.

I feel the cold of the beer shoot down my throat. This is familiar. Then I feel an intense burning shooting down from my throat to stomach. My friends physically push me off of the funnel. Tequila that I don't finish shoots out onto the floor. After a few seconds, I take a few deep gasps and start breathing normally.

I'm most certainly messed up at this point. I look for the girl from before, with a beer in hand, to no avail. After a while, my friends see that I'm just in baaaad shape, and decide to take a cab back to campus.

The rest of the story I remember in blurbs. The rest was filled in the next day.

On the ride home, I tried to talk two girls into coming home with me and my roommate... in front of their boyfriends. I mercifully didn't get my ass kicked.

In said cab, a chevy astro, or something with a sliding door, I had to vomit. I opened the side door, and vomited all over the road, while the cab was going at least 40mph.

Once we got back to my room, I passed out in the bathroom. When my friends opened the door, they had to hold me up while I took a leak. I told them not to look at my junk, and then called them gay.

And that was the night.

[Polk]

Jecht you are a monster how could you make a fan wait so long

Also, if nothing else comes out of this thread, at least Pete stories are always funny.

[Order]

That was a good one.
Worth the 2k funny money.

That beer bong stair rail is genuis.

[Tydis]

you seem like you have eonogh money to me if not invest and post

[SOLDIER #819]

Jecht be too busy slamming balls to sign your pithy paper, Pete. Give it up.

[Jecht]

Jecht be too busy slamming balls to sign your pithy paper, Pete. Give it up.

slamming? yeah, like the ones of 2 crybabys on Tumblr 24/7 remember 'hem each minute they're crybabys and weals as hell!

in any rate, i have done one autograph on the same post were he ask me.
but still if he have not see it:



the best i can do with the shit i have at hand.

[Pete]

Is there any way you can make it out to me, Pete, your biggest fan?

A little personalization goes a long way, especially since I AM your biggest fan, and I would hate to be disillusioned by a star athlete treating me like I'm nobody.

[Jecht]

Is there any way you can make it out to me, Pete, your biggest fan?

A little personalization goes a long way, especially since I AM your biggest fan, and I would hate to be disillusioned by a star athlete treating me like I'm nobody.

*sigh*
aright, aright!
let me think' on a way dude...

[Zerobanshee]

It shouldn't be that difficult broski. Pete is, afterall, the most adoring fan I've ever met of yours!

[Polk]

*sigh*
aright, aright!
let me think' on a way dude...

Why are you acting like this is the hardest thing in the world to do? I did this in literally thirty seconds (including throwing it into paint.net to reduce the size).

And then you get 5 million fake TFF moneys! Please don't disappoint Pete. He's a good boy.

[Halie]

Woah, woah. Rude. Sir Jecht is a busy man, he's in high demand. I mean, think about it, he's the star of the Zanarkand Abes, he's constantly having to teach his son not to be such a *****, and he's scheduled to be swallowed up by a giant monster and transported to Spira to meet Braska and Auron so he can save the ****ing world. And most important of all, he needs to make Jecht Shot Mark I and II. Give the man some spaaaace!

[Dodie16]

I think Pete should just give Polk the money. That was a beautiful autograph, and probably worth more too! It's from a former U.S. President for goodness sakes!

[Pete]

Woah, woah. Rude. Sir Jecht is a busy man, he's in high demand. I mean, think about it, he's the star of the Zanarkand Abes, he's constantly having to teach his son not to be such a *****, and he's scheduled to be swallowed up by a giant monster and transported to Spira to meet Braska and Auron so he can save the ****ing world. And most important of all, he needs to make Jecht Shot Mark I and II. Give the man some spaaaace!

Way to ruin the story, Halie.

It's all the more reason for him to reach out to his biggest fan, like a reverse make a wish foundation thing.

[Zerobanshee]

I dunno. That autograph from Polk is ****ing legit. I'd pay 5 mil for it!

[Alpha]

Pete, maybe you should make a more realistic wish?