Boom! Nutshot!

[Rhaps]

So, the other day you can guess what happened. Telling my friend a Gay Joke (what do you call a gay bar without stools?) and a girl standing three feet away heard it. Apparantly, she was very strongly gay-rights activist. POW! Man down! Man down! And then a few months ago my friends and I were playing hackysack, a different girl than before walks up, catches it, and shouts "Sack meets sack!" Me being Mr. Unlucky gets nailed.
I think I'm sterile now T-T

How many of you guys have a nutshot story, be it funny or tragic?
How many of you women have commited this vile crime and why?

^Switch the genders above as needed

[che]

So a gay rights activist kicked you in the nuts for telling a gay joke? Did she know she wasn't being a good representative of the community by doing that? What are you supposed to think of gay people now? Just a bunch of people who go around hitting others in the balls?




And yeah we used to play that game in high school. I was always pissed because I never wanted to hit anyone else in the balls.

One time at a party sophomore year of college where lots of people I knew from high school showed up, one of my old friends hit me in the balls pretty hard as a joke. I was hurt, and got mad, but he was bonding. I had to retaliate. I hit him HARD. As I did, one of his friends saw me do it and didn't know who I was because he graduated two years before me. This guy thought I was just hitting our mutual friend in the balls for no reason and decided he'd hit ME in the balls. Well that pissed me off, because I didn't even know this guy, and this guy had just hit me in the balls and was talking shit. So I got in his face about it, and everyone had to break us apart and our mutual friend explained to the guy what happened.

Then we all took shots together and got wasted.

[Rocky]

There is about a dozen of us guys at work that play the nuttap game for no other reason than keeping each other on edge. It used to be easy to avoid mostly, because I kept my clipboard in front of my junk when I walked around, but then the game evolved into giving each other titty twisters so the person would have their guard down for the ever so inviting nutshot. Then I had to walk around with one arm on my opposite shoulder and the other arm holding my clipboard in my genital region...

We're such good role models for the kids!!

[Unknown Entity]

My brother kicked my lower regions, so I thought it only fair that he got a foot to the balls.

I also accidentally kneed my friends' cousin in the nuts when we were playing football. He tried to 'chip' the ball over my head as he ran towards me, so I jumped to try and head it back, missed and knocked him down to the ground... with my knee.

I'd never seen him so mad. When he'd done his crying and screaming on the ground, he came after me. D=

[Xithor]

My worst story of getting hit in the nuts happened to me during my senior season of baseball in the last regular season game. So we were playing a team and we were up by a run in the 2nd inning with 2 outs and a man on third. I'm catching and I put down two fingers for a curveball and my pitcher squints in to me like he's having trouble seeing, so I flash a two again and he nods and comes set. I check the runner at third and get into my ready position which looks like I'm sitting in an imaginary chair. The pitcher delivers to the plate and the ball starts about my knee high so I start to block the ball expecting the ball to curve, and it's our ace throwing so his yacker is pretty sharp. I start to drop to my knees to block the ball and, you guessed it, it didn't break and I tried to get out of the way but the 89 mph fastball hit me square in my cup....yea....I had enough adrenaline pumping to locate the ball because I didn't want the runner on third to walk home and it turns out the ball had bounced back to the pitcher. Once the runner wasn't scored my head hit the ground and I was writhing in pain to say the least. I managed to finish the inning on defense and hit the next half but then took myself out of the game to make sure I wasn't pissing blood which I wasn't thank goodness. My nut was definitely swollen for a couple of days though haha

[Pete]

Yeah, I play catcher in baseball/ softball, so I've taken my fair share of nutshots... even with a cup, it still sucks.

I've also been hit in the nuts by an ex. I punched a hole in my wall because it hurt so badly. I told her that would've been her face (not seriously), and it NEVER happened again.

[loaf]

First time I remember getting hit was 2nd grade.

Holding a giant kickball my friend decided to say "LET ME KICK IT!" and he tried to kick it while I was holding it. Few hours later after I decided to go back out, I kicked his ass.

Then maybe just random hits, on purpose or accident. I tend to get over the pain quick nowadays but it still hurts a lot.

[GHOSTED]

I was at a concert with some friends once and during a mosh a friend of mine donkey kicked some random 500 pound pure muscular black dude square in his sack. The dude dropped right to the ground nearly passed out. My friend then walked up to the guy, helped him up, and asked if he was okay. We thought the dude was gonna **** him up but he was really cool about it.
My dog loves jumping on my nuts...anyone else have this problem?

[Magi of Worlds]

Oh you guys are freakin lucky. I get hit in the nuts almost every other day by my girlfriend. But that would be because she is extremely accident prone and apparently God humors that situation a lot! I swear it happened twice yesterday! Once with her elbow and the second time with her knee!

[Pete]

Magi, I would seriously invest in a protective cup if I were you, that is, if you ever want kids.

[Xithor]

Magi, what does she just like lean over and accidentally hit you in the crotch, I'd be wearing a cup if it happened every day lol

[Sasquatch]

... Yeah, I don't play that game.

Seriously. I have friends that do that stupid crap, and they all know that I take it as an assault -- you whack me in the balls, and I'll beat the hell out of you. So it doesn't happen to me often.

And Rhapso, I would have slapped that stupid bitch. If she doesn't like something I say, she can bitch all she wants, but if she wants to make it physical, that's her call. I'm usually very respectful and chivalrous, but I don't take kindly to assaults -- you try to hurt me, and I'll try to hurt you back, without caring what size or color or gender you are. And I guarantee I'm better at it.

[Xanatos]

There is about a dozen of us guys at work that play the nuttap game for no other reason than keeping each other on edge.

This game was quite popular when I was in high school, needless to say I never liked it, in fact I despised it. And even tho I never participated I still got slapped, it really hurts, and you can't be on your guard all the time.

Besides that I only got hit in my nuts once, I felt like I was going to die. It was a bar fight, it escalated really quick, huge mess, I never saw who hit me but whoever did it was a cheap shoot. My friend managed to pull me out of there, one of the worst experiences in my life if not the worst.

[bahamuts heir]

Ok so one time when I was paintballing somebody decided to load a sniper-rifle with frozen paintballs, and it was a no armor match. One of my friends trip and as I helped him up the dude with frozen paintballs comes from around the corner and shoots me in the balls to get me out. I was on the ground for hours.

[che]

Ok so one time when I was paintballing somebody decided to load a sniper-rifle with frozen paintballs, and it was a no armor match. One of my friends trip and as I helped him up the dude with frozen paintballs comes from around the corner and shoots me in the balls to get me out. I was on the ground for hours.

It felt like hours but it was probably days, right?

[loaf]

Anybody up for some nutball?

[Sean]

Whilst in high school, we played street hockey all the time.

I played goalie. I didn't have a cup. For a long time I didn't have a mask, either.

Every time we played and we weren't playing in an actual game-like setting (as in, teams, score, etc) we'd end up stopping when I either got hit in the nuts or hit in the face. EVERY time. Granted I later fixed the lack of mask, and we changed to only stopping when I got it in the nuts.

Most of the time I'd play it up as it'd only graze me, or my leg would get most of it, but there were a few occasions where the boys got a pretty hefty thwack.


I don't think anyone of the female gender understands just how painful a dead-on hit to the nads actually is. You have child birth and menstrual cramps to deal with; we have two extremely volatile organs hanging delicately in a thin layer of skin in an easily accessible place that is generally not well protected. I'd say we're even.


Also a rather common occurrence, and I'm sure most males who are around pets share this, is the utter attraction pets seem to have to stomping on your kids while jumping either on your lap or onto the couch you're sitting on.

EVERY ****ing time. It's a reflex for me to put my hand over them every time an animal jumps at me, and has saved me more times than I can count, especially with my dog; if I lay back down after turning off my alarm clock, she thinks it's time to play the "Jump on Sean's balls" game.

[bahamuts heir]

It felt like hours but it was probably days, right?

I was on the ground for hours
I couldn't sit with my legs together for a week or else they would get crushed, they were so swollen. It was the most physical pain I ever had at once, mental pain on the other hand....

[norman]

My friend shave nec\ver told me one of their stories but I will ask them about it the next time I see them.

[Kaiden]

I have witnessed two horrible nut shots. First was playing street hockey as a kid, a goalie took a slap shot straight to the package. This was before we had full equipment, so no cup. He cried and rolled around for a long time. He never played hockey with us again.

The second is by far the worst I have ever seen and I hope to never see it happen again. I played Lacrosse in a summer league when I was 19. We went to a shoot around with a bunch of guys, some of them professionals. There was a guy behind the net just collecting loose balls when someone took a shot (some these guys shoot 80-90 miles an hour). No cup, the guy took one straight to the nuts. He keeled over instantly, there was some giggling and “ohh man that had to hurt”. Then the guy started throwing up. So thing got pretty serious, we ended up calling 911 and having an ambulance come out and take the guy to the hospital. Never really heard what came, I assume he ruptured a nut or something.

As for me, the worst I can remember was while playing soccer(football). We were practicing free kicks; I was a part of the wall. One kid decided he was going to curve the ball around the wall for a shot on net. He didn’t curve it at all. He blasted it straight at me, even with my hands for protection that ****ing killed. I’ve never wanted to fight someone so bad in my life after rolling on the ground for a while.

[Sinister]

The total lack of female presence in this thread is unsettling. I'm naturally paranoid...so it prolly means nothing.

Unfortunately my little sister thought it was terribly funny and clever of her to double me over with a well-placed kick. It was the only time my father ever came to my defense. He took her aside and explained the situation, don't ask me how, but it never happened again.

I also was hit the hardest when I was sparring in Jun Fan Jeet Kune Do, about nine years ago. The sensei rushed over and picked me up and shook me like a soda can. He kept yelling for me to keep jumping as if that would dislodge my testicles, cure all my ills and save my life. Surprisingly, I've found that jumping kind of helps.

-Sin

[Pete]

I've actually seen a video on youtube where some karate master is impervious to nut shots. As soon as he'd get kicked, he'd do a mini jump and slam both heels of his feet into the ground. I don't know exactly what this accomplished, nor do I want to experiment.

[Xithor]

The sensei rushed over and picked me up and shook me like a soda can. He kept yelling for me to keep jumping as if that would dislodge my testicles, cure all my ills and save my life. Surprisingly, I've found that jumping kind of helps.

-Sin

Jumping up and down helps when you get hit in the nuts? I took Taekwondo and they never mentioned anything like that. Guess they didn't really need to tell us unless it actually happened. Interesting, I'm not gonna test the hypothesis but should I happen to be on the wrong side of a situation I'll be jumping up and down haha