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Thread: Is it appropriate..................

  1. #1
    Asking all the personal questions. Is it appropriate.................. RamesesII's Avatar
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    Is it appropriate..................

    .....to tell a work colleague of the opposite gender that they look beautiful or handsome or would that be professionally out of line?

    Would you be a bit suss if one of your work acquaintances told you how ravishing you looked?

    What comments would cross the line?

    "Wow I like what you have done with your hair today"

    "That blouse really shows off your best assets"

    "That black bra really becomes you"

    "Hey is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants"

    "There is a party in my pants and your invited"
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    Registered Uber Is it appropriate.................. Hobaginator's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Here's a few canned compliments for women you work with:

    "Wow have you lost weight? I can definitely tell." That works on the inconfident ones better than the confident ones.

    "What sport do you play? Oh you don't play sports? My mistake, you have the build of an athelete." That works on the confident ladies better, because the unconfident ones will usually take it as an insult.

    "You look stunning in that outfit." That works on any lady who's dressed proffessionally,or seems to have spent extra time in putting together her outfit on that certain day. It's seen as a compliment more so than a pickup line.

    Basically, talk to them like normal people, throw in things that you notice about them to show that that you notice them, and let them know that you find them attractive in a proffessional manner. If you take it far enough, make sure to remind them that you have a penis. Some ladies tend to forget that, and reminding them sparks chemistry.

    Feel it out and don't be a creeper.

    If you keep her smiling and laughing, you're doing good. Unless her face turns red and she's trying to escape the situation while she's laughing, some ladies laugh when they're uncomfortable. If that happens, drop it and don't mention it ever again. You can try to flirt again later, in a month or two, and after proving yourself over and over to her that you're reliable and nice.

    Ladies will generally give you clues as to how far you're allowed to take things with them. For example, one lady I worked with some time ago, who I found extremely attractive, was telling me about how she loves to go tanning. I felt confident enough to press the issue further, grinning devilishly, I asked her if she tans naked. At once she blushed and looked down, turned away and went back to what she was doing, ending the conversation. Well, after a minute or so I reminded her that she never answered my question. She asked about what. I again asked her if she tans naked. She turned to face me, got really close, smiled and whispered "sometimes".

    Tip #1: Being a guy is about taking the calculated risk about when to press the issue and when to drop it and let the fish off of the line.

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    Tip #3: Use open-ended innuendo and let her decide how to navigate the conversation. One interpretation is harmless, the other is sexual. It takes practice, but you'll figure out what I mean.

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  3. #3
    (ღ˘⌣˘ღ) Is it appropriate.................. che's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................


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    Kiss with a fist. Is it appropriate.................. Dranzer's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    LMAO.

    Well, obviously it's "unprofessional" to make a pass at someone in the work place. I don't think genuine compliments are though. There's nothing wrong with being friendly.

    That's the only input I can give. The things I say to the opposite sex would probably earn most men a slap; be jelly. <3


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  5. #5
    Registered User Is it appropriate.................. Halie's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    I think the first compliment you listed was perfectly nice. But the rest are just damn sleezy xD

    It kind of depends on who you're talking to, though. I think if you're really close to a co-worker and they'd know you were just joking, saying creepy, sleezy compliments might be okay. ...Maybe.

  6. #6
    Registered Goober Is it appropriate.................. Order's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Stick a can of arizona iced tea in your pocket and say, "I'm happy to see *you* today!".
    Then crack the can open and take a sip while waiting for a response.

  7. #7
    Registered Uber Is it appropriate.................. Hobaginator's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Quote Originally Posted by The Goddamn Clint Gaywood View Post
    I think the first compliment you listed was perfectly nice. But the rest are just damn sleezy xD

    It kind of depends on who you're talking to, though. I think if you're really close to a co-worker and they'd know you were just joking, saying creepy, sleezy compliments might be okay. ...Maybe.
    All females like certain amounts of sleezy, just depends on how long it takes to get to that point and how much they like.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dranzer
    The things I say to the opposite sex would probably earn most men a slap; be jelly. <3
    I've been slapped by females more times than I can count... but I've also had a few very attractive young ladies make out with my cawk. Some of them slapped me first, during or after. I tend to consider it foreplay.
    Last edited by Hobaginator; 07-19-2012 at 02:00 PM.
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    Registered User Is it appropriate.................. Halie's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Quote Originally Posted by Hobaginator View Post
    All females like certain amounts of sleezy, just depends on how long it takes to get to that point and how much they like.



    I've been slapped by females more times than I can count... but I've also had a few very attractive young ladies make out with my cawk. Some of them slapped me first, during or after. I tend to consider it foreplay.
    Like I said, it depends how well you know the person. If my best guy friend were to say something like that to me, I'd laugh and find it flattering. If a random colleague I barely knew said it, I'd be a little creeped out.

  9. #9
    Registered Uber Is it appropriate.................. Hobaginator's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Quote Originally Posted by The Goddamn Clint Gaywood View Post
    Like I said, it depends how well you know the person. If my best guy friend were to say something like that to me, I'd laugh and find it flattering. If a random colleague I barely knew said it, I'd be a little creeped out.
    What you're forgetting is that I'm not just some random guy. I'm a grade A american prime and women can't resist my charm!

    So obviously my way of going about things is to just flex my pecks and go for it with a moderately high rate of success.
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  10. #10
    Gingersnap Is it appropriate.................. OceanEyes28's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    I don't particularly enjoy being "hit on." I like being flirted with and I like when I can have a fun conversation with someone... but if I know a man is trying to sleep with me in the next few hours, when I barely know him, I tend to default into being pretty standoff-ish. It's the only way to send a clear signal of "No, stop trying to get your **** wet." I've been called a bitch, a snob, a ****, and, quite defensively, fugly or "average, anyway." Which is fine, because I don't much care.

    Which brings me to what I think of a coworker telling me he thinks my tits look good in whatever I'm wearing: I don't care what you think. If we're friends or we've spoken before, I enjoy hearing that I look nice today, or you like this dress or these shoes. Awesome, thanks. And if we're good friends, by all means, tell me my ass is lookin fine these days, and then we'll laugh about it. But if we don't talk, let's just keep it that way if all you have to say is something about my body that I don't care about. Most of my coworkers are casual acquaintances... I don't want them letting on that they'd do me.

    There's a line, and I think you already know what it is.

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  11. #11
    Only plays for sport Unknown Entity's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    I've been hit on a few times at work, haha. Some of them were colleagues, but it's always been playful with them. I work with my boyfriend, but we don't flirt at work at all, which is boring but we make up for it outside of work. But yeah. I don't mind being complimented by co-workers, and if it's sexual related, it's just a good laugh. When it was that customer telling my boyfriend that he liked my ass and would be back to spank it later, that was ****ing creepy, and I left through the back door that day.

    The playfulness is sleezy sometimes, but in a jokey way. I have a co-worker who humps inanimate objects all over the place, a few more who turn everything into a sex related thing, and we have a lot of code words for naughty things so we can joke infront of customers.

    There's no need to draw the line anywhere as we're all pretty aware where the boundaries are.


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  12. #12
    Kiss with a fist. Is it appropriate.................. Dranzer's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Quote Originally Posted by Hobaginator View Post


    I've been slapped by females more times than I can count... but I've also had a few very attractive young ladies make out with my cawk. Some of them slapped me first, during or after. I tend to consider it foreplay.
    Excuse me, I should have said ladies instead of "opposite sex". There's a difference between sleezy and sexy, they don't go together unless you're easy.

    I have to say I'm on the same page as OceanEyes when it comes to being hit on. I've come across quite a few guys that seem to stick to one liners before copping a feel. That shit doesn't fly, even when I'm drunk. Actually especially when I've been drinking...

    I'm a flirt, and it's not sexist in the least.

    @Hae: stay away from them creepers.


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  13. #13
    Registered User Is it appropriate.................. Halie's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    @Trust me, Dranz, I will be. Haha

    I've been reminded, though, a few months ago I went to a party and one of the guys there was drunk and he thought it would be nice to say "Halie, I bet you're rough and naughty in the sack" and totally thought it was a really nice compliment! lol. I excused him because he was drinking, but still haha. If he was sober I'd have probably clipped round the ear. He also told my friend that she needs to lose her virginity to him instead of some guy at Uni that she barely knows lol.

  14. #14
    Boxer of the Galaxy Is it appropriate.................. Rowan's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    I guess it depends on your work environement. Im actually very curious as to where UE works (guys humping innaminate objects etc) sounds like a very carefree workplace. I think the way you are meant to compliment someone in the workplace is supposed to be along the lines of "Hi Shiela, you are looking professional today". When I worked at McDonalds, I use to get compliments from certain managers and female staff that worked the counters. Because of these compliments and little flirtations it made me look forward to working with these people and my life at a fast food joint a little less like hell. That was when I was 16, so thats 6 years ago. Now that I've been in a serious relationship for over 2 years, im uncomfortable being flirted with because im reluctant to reciprocate because of the loyalty I feel to my girlfriend. Also it would make me feel bad hurting someones feelings by not returning flirtations, but rather that than disloyalty. I enjoy compliments, and I also take pleasure in knowing that people want to **** me, but I would never engage in any conversation that might reflect disrespect to my girlfriend.

  15. #15
    Magically Delicous Is it appropriate.................. Merlin's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    My job is pretty strict on enforcing sexual harassment rules and makes everyone go through training. Things like "That is a nice dress" or "Did you do something different with your hair today?" are perfectly fine. Anything more than that is pretty much off limits. You even have to watch jokes too. With my group it is OK to take things out of context as sounding dirty, but not everywhere. For example, yesterday a female coworker was holding a banana and said "This is too much. I don't think I can put all of this in my mouth." The statement was innocent and completely serious, but the team started laughing under their breath because it was an awesome out of context. Stuff like that is fine in my group, but you have to be careful around other teams. Not everyone finds that appropriate.



  16. #16
    Bananarama Is it appropriate.................. Pete's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    That's the beauty of working in construction. That problem more or less takes care of itself... except when there's the one girl who happens to be like an engineer or the rare female laborer. Then it just gets pathetic, kinda like that scene in Anchorman when everyone takes their shot at Veronica Corningstone.

    But in reality, unless there was some drastic change, where you can tell the person is feeling good about it, I don't say anything.
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    Death Before Dishonor Is it appropriate.................. Josh_R's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    I don't see any problems with the casual hey look very nice today or things like that. It should only be addressed when things go to far.

    Had a guy who was working in my department who had a crush a lady hired in(f*cking hot ) anyway he asked her if she wanted to see some pictures of his kids she said sure. He was scrolling through, and bam came across a pic of his ****. She was like what the hell man, he said sorry thought I deleted that. Started looking at more and another pic of his ****. The next day he kept asking questions to her you know hey wanna see my **** again things like that. Then he grabbed her ass dude was fired in a second.

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  18. #18
    Queen Is it appropriate.................. Crescent's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    No. I don't like being hit on either let alone in the workplace. Im fortunate enough to work with girls but back in the day when I worked in retail I got hit on left, right and centre by colleagues and customers alike. I kinda played along just to get through it and come across as not making a big deal out of it but really I should've been more assertive because it only made me resent males. Their methods of trying to hit on me seemed kind of predatory to me it makes me extremely uncomfortable even if they think its not a big deal. Its just how Ive always felt Im quite shy. I even got it from my bosses but I don't want to get into detail. If I may, I didn't mind getting hit on from females (One was me ex!XD) because in my experience they're less aggressive. Oceaneyes hit the nail on head, I simply don't want my coworkers letting on that they'd do me. So No, I don't find it acceptable at all in the workplace (except for your first compliment) but when it comes down to it, it really does depend on the person who's giving the compliment, how well you know them and where they're coming from.

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  19. #19
    the night man cometh Is it appropriate.................. Joxsjua's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Quote Originally Posted by RamesesII View Post
    .....to tell a work colleague of the opposite gender that they look beautiful or handsome or would that be professionally out of line?
    Beautiful is pretty vulgar word to be thrown around lightly for the purposes of scoring some points. If she falls for that maybe you deserve each other. I would stick to complimenting with a more casual tone. I think flirting at the office is okay but personally I avoid it because there's a good chance shit will go down and you don't want drama at the work-flow.

    I used to work at an internet provider and there was this friend who was my peer who decided she wanted to step it up and take on a leadership role. We continued talking casually and one day I went up to her to BS about an account I was working on and before I could say anything she stares me down and instantly asked "who should I go out with; who's a good person I can date??".. all I did was put my palms up and say "I don't know..." and tried to empathize with her. That shit didn't fly well! .... short story shorter, after a few months she had me fired. Turned out she had been building stories about me after that event and when she got to deliver to news to me she portrayed herself in the exact tone and body language I had used when I turned her down. That was pretty whimsical I admit but the bottom line here is "if someone at work gets alil creepy and makes an aggressive advance towards you, get the f*** out and don't look back!!" If you got a good case I encourage all women to report it to the human resources department.
    There weren't even steps of flirting leading up to fair warn me. So if you choose to do this at work, ..do it in steps at least to give them a running start.

    Co-workers are a dangerous thing to fling. If you're in a shallow mood, go get slutty..
    Best advice: steer away from dating at work.

  20. #20
    Asking all the personal questions. Is it appropriate.................. RamesesII's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Hahahaha great posts everyone but just to make it clear I aint trying to hit on any of my work colleagues, I just thought this was a great question to ask to see where you all stand.

    I wanted to ask this because I scenario arose where I didn't know what to say.
    A female staff member had come back from holidays and it was obvious that she had lost weight but in the split second before we started to talk I tossed in my head if I should say something or not.
    1- If I said she was looking really good( does that mean I am admiting that she had excess weight before hand)

    Or 2- I don't say anything and she thinks I am rude and not polite.

    I went for what I thought was the natural option and didn't say anything what made it harder was another male staff member did say something so it made me look like more of an ass, and I would have sounded sleezy or fake if I had have said something straight after he did.

    Oh and for those that can't take sarcasm most of those statements in the OP are there for s hits and giggles and if you knew me at all you would know I wouldn't say anything like that not on my life haha not if I wanted to keep my face intact.

    Anyway I always feel awkward in the workplace because I feel compelled to compliment them but my other half says no stay neutral it may not sound the same in words to the way it sounds in your head.
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  21. #21
    Registered Uber Is it appropriate.................. Hobaginator's Avatar
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    Re: Is it appropriate..................

    Quote Originally Posted by omgawd View Post
    I should've been more assertive because it only made me resent males. Their methods of trying to hit on me seemed kind of predatory to me it makes me extremely uncomfortable even if they think its not a big deal.
    That's exactly how you're supposed to feel. Whenever I flirted with females, it was either looooong after they had already expressed interest, or when I felt mutual chemistry from the very start. Of course you would feel like the males who were hitting on you seemed predatory, most males don't know how to do it because they're mostly just trying to impress themself with their boldness and use you as practice when they're pretty sure they're going to accomplish nothing positive with their actions. If a guy makes you uncomfortable, don't be afraid to tell him.

    I had female friends that I worked with come tell ME that a guy was creeping them out, and I'd ALWAYS tell the guy to f*** off, for the sake of respecting her sense of security and peace. Hell this one female I worked with was being followed around the store by 4 black guys who were saying stereotypical black guy pickup lines "Ey yo girl!" "damn shorty" "bring dat ass back". She came to me and wouldn't go further than 15 feet from me until they left the store. When her break came up, she asked the manager if I could go with her and sure enough the negroes were waiting for her outside. I had to threaten them with an ass whooping, and physically start shoving the biggest one around before they realized it was time to back off and finally left her alone.

    Omgawd what you need is some people who are willing to stick up for you. I have never had a problem doing things like that for females so long as they remain respectful of the fact that I'm not their gay friend zoned bitch. I'm just a guy with balls who will do what is right and puts the needs of a woman over the needs of a man. Some girls don't understand the difference, or forget it -- and they usually lose my support and don't understand why. I can't stand when a women thinks she has me wrapped around her finger. The girls that I'd go the extra mile for were the ones who were very sweet and nice and did stuff like give me a bag of chips they didn't want or whatever. I'd stay late after work waiting with them until their ride got there and stuff like that because I knew they also thought of my comfort and respected me.

    Don't let the creepos make you resent guys. There are decent ones out there. The reason they're rare is because it takes strength of character and a firm moral base. If you're just cursed with being very attractive, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that you're going to get jerked around just as much as the rest of humanity. Don't think you have to act flirty so people will like you, either. That will just put you in a bad spot fast. If you're very attractive, most guys with no balls will be driven off if you just act like you're too good for them in the first place.
    Last edited by Hobaginator; 07-20-2012 at 07:50 AM.
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