Don't have a ****ing girls night and try to get all cute with me and then give me the excuse you're having a "girls night out" so you can't come back to my place. You know when the last time was that I had a guys night? When I was ****ing 8 years old. Why? Because cooties existed and I wasn't open to inviting other genders into our awesome hang out sessions. You know how much sex I had when I was 8? None. So do the ****ing math.

And if you're having your period, shut the **** up about it and do me. We can turn the lights off if you are freaked out about having your own period.