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Thread: Your Catered Funeral March!

  1. #1
    Sir Prize Your Catered Funeral March! Sinister's Avatar
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    Your Catered Funeral March!

    Sure, you want a funeral. We all do. Who wouldn't? My question is...if you died now...knowing what you do...

    What do you want served to eat/drink at the Wake?

    What songs do you want played at your funeral?

    What celebrities would you like to attend?

    How would you make out your will?

    Is there anyone that would show up at your Funeral that you would exact vengeance upon? And How Would You?

    And Finally...

    "Are there any special requests about your remains?" (things you'd like put in your coffin, what you want done with your remains...etc...)


    Please keep in mind that the most important part in a book, movie, game or life is it's ending. So insert the comedy/macabre and get creative.

    -Sin
    Last edited by Sinister; 04-13-2010 at 01:14 AM.


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

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  2. #2
    Only plays for sport Unknown Entity's Avatar
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    Re: Your Catered Funeral March!

    What do you want served to eat/drink at the Wake?
    I don't really know what kind of food or drink I'd want at my funeral. I wouldn't say alcohol was a must because the last thing I'd want is my family to turn into a drunken riot, but if it's drank responsibly, that would be okay. I've always enjoyed home-made treats and meals, so if everyone brought along a dish of small snacks and treats, that would be awesome. I might be dead, but there had better be some baklava on that table. xD;

    What songs do you want played at your funeral?
    My music collection, maybe. But it'd be cool if other people wanted to bring their music too.

    What celebrities would you like to attend?
    I'd rather keep it a closed event with family and friends... if a celebrity happens to be my friend, then of course they can come along, but I doubt I'll know any.

    How would you make out your will?
    My fortune goes to my children, if I've had any. Otherwise, I'll have it split between my family (namely my mother if she's still alive, and my brother), my partner and my best friend.

    Is there anyone that would show up at your Funeral that you would exact vengeance upon? And How Would You?
    I'd throw a treacle tart at them. If I really hated them, I'll turn them into a human Molotov cocktail.

    "Are there any special requests about your remains?"
    I want to be cremated. I'd rather I was 'free' when I am dead, and the thought of being trapped underground scares me even when I'm alive. Also, it'd really suck if I wasn't dead when I'm pronounced dead, and I awake trapped in a coffin in a deep hole. ;-;
    Last edited by Unknown Entity; 04-13-2010 at 01:53 AM.


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  3. #3
    Sir Prize Your Catered Funeral March! Sinister's Avatar
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    Your Catered Funeral March!

    What I'm going to say is what I'm seriously considering for a funeral. Tis True.

    What do you want served to eat/drink at the Wake?
    Oh, what should be served? Orchid and Skull shaped sugar cookies, without a doubt. Fruit Pizza. Sushi. Shrimp Cocktails. Salads and plenty of tea.

    What songs do you want played at your funeral?
    Hmm... No songs...except at the end I want the funeral house to play "Still Alive" from Portal as everyone's leaving.

    What celebrities would you like to attend?

    Dr.XXXX Gupta(actually might/would show up)
    Johnny Depp(He did come from around here *shrugs* Maybe he'll build a cannon to shoot my ashes into the sky.)
    Umberto Eco(I apparently never got to meet the man, it's not fair.)

    How would you make out your will?
    My father gets a lifetime supply of ice cream(Boot to the head...and he's diabetic). My Sister gets all my games and my copy of Simulacra and Simulation. My Mother gets my Bible and my Rosary.


    Is there anyone that would show up at your Funeral that you would exact vengeance upon? And How Would You?

    Practical jokes on everyone. Pre-recorded videos for everyone. That sounds like a cool idea. Think I'll do that now.


    "Are there any special requests about your remains?"

    Hrm...Blast them into outer space.

    -Sin
    Last edited by Sinister; 04-13-2010 at 04:37 AM.


    Fear not, this is not...the end of this world.

    "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

  4. #4
    ...means nothing to no way Furore's Avatar
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    Re: Your Catered Funeral March!

    What do you want served to eat/drink at the Wake?

    My corpse. That way there'd be a little bit of me in everyone!

    What songs do you want played at your funeral?



    What celebrities would you like to attend?

    The Melvins

    How would you make out your will?

    Split donations to those I care about the most, certain possessions being allocated to specific people.

    Is there anyone that would show up at your Funeral that you would exact vengeance upon? And How Would You?

    Not really, no. Vengeance isn't very productive, especially if the doorman to the afterlife is currently going through your records.

    "Are there any special requests about your remains?" (things you'd like put in your coffin, what you want done with your remains...etc...)

    Coffin = Hygenic enough to serve food off, see first answer.
    victoria aut mors

  5. #5
    The pizza guy! Meier Link's Avatar
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    Re: Your Catered Funeral March!

    What do you want served to eat/drink at the Wake?
    Booze and lots of it and for food I am thinking something along the lines of finger foods and those little fancy sanddwhichs. Nothing to filling because I want the people to get trashed.

    What songs do you want played at your funeral?
    There are a few; mainly some upity beat music. I don't want people to cry for me and be all down and out. Instead I want people to be happy and remember the good times and the events that happened in my life.

    What celebrities would you like to attend?
    None. Friends and family only. I would want people that actually knew me to be there to honor my life instead of moarn my death.

    How would you make out your will?
    On a peice of paper and scribbed with a pen. Actually I would have a lawyer draft up a generic will leaving everything to my wife and kids. Also would have a clause appropriating some of my life insurance to pay for the funeral and after parties.

    Is there anyone that would show up at your Funeral that you would exact vengeance upon?
    Probably not but if so then see below.

    And How Would You?
    Lynch mob controaled by subliminal messages through the music.

    Are there any special requests about your remains?
    Just to honor them and give them the proper barrial they deserve. Also I would want a picture of my family placed in the casket with me. If they could rig a device to make me sit up mid way through the funeral that would be AWESOME! Practical jokes all the way to the end.
    Last edited by Meier Link; 04-13-2010 at 01:13 PM.
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  6. #6
    I invented Go-Gurt. Your Catered Funeral March! Clint's Avatar
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    Re: Your Catered Funeral March!

    What do you want served to eat/drink at the Wake?
    Beer and pie.

    What songs do you want played at your funeral?
    I have somewhat of a problem with this question. One, who the hell plays music at a funeral? It isn't a party, it's a service for mourning. Two, you can't hear when you're dead, so what the hell does it matter?

    What celebrities would you like to attend?
    Kevin Bacon. We have the same birthday, so that makes us like distant cousins.

    How would you make out your will?
    In pen.

    Is there anyone that would show up at your Funeral that you would exact vengeance upon?
    How would I exact vengeance upon somebody if I'm dead?

    Are there any special requests about your remains?
    Yes, I request they be covered at all times, and at the end of the day, placed somewhere to rot for all eternity.

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