32 ways to survive a zombie flick.

[Meier Link]

For those that have seen Zombieland there are 32 (argumentally 33) rules to survive a zombie flick. Most of which are not even stated in the movie itself. Some where released via promotional videos and posters; while others where just tagged in by crazed fanatics of the film (or people that are just bored and decided to start some crap).

Now from the "official list" that I have seen it really contradicts itself and violates some of Colubus' own mind set (see rule 8 below to see what I am talking about) but its for entertainment value.

Here is one proposed lists:

#1 – Cardio
#2 – The Double Tap
#3 – Beware of Bathrooms
#4 – Seatbelts
#5 – ???
#6 – The Skillet*
#7 – Travel Light
#8 – Get A Kickass Partner*
#9 – ???
#10 – ???
#11 – ???
#12 – Bounty Paper Towels*
#13 – ???
#14 – ???
#15 – Bowling Ball*
#16 – ???
#17 – Don’t Be A Hero
#18 – Limber Up
#19 – ???
#20 – ???
#21 – Avoid Strip Clubs*
#22 – When In Doubt, Know Your Way Out
#23 – ???
#24 – ???
#25 – ???
#26 – ???
#27 – ???
#28 – ???
#29 – The Buddy System*
#30 – ???
#31 – Check The Back Seat
#32 – Enjoy The Little Things
#33 – Swiss Army Knife*
Source:All Zombieland Rules - ZombielandRules.com

So now to the real point of this thread. If you had to set your own rules for surviving a zombie flick / outbreak, what would they be?

If you are actually going to post a list then please come back and edit yours so they are all together instead of being spanned out over a few pages (if this gets that far haha).

Random rules are welcome also if you don't feel like trying to compose a list of your own.

Also feel free to critque the list above or anyone elses list or to make convo about some of the posted rules in this thread.

I will post my list some time soon.

[Block]

#23 be this guy:

[GypsyElder]

I have this this book and read it, it's awesome, I really like the actual journal entries and stories in the back of it. I would seriously just follow everything it says. Buy it. I know it sounds and looks stupid, but that's what I said. One of the very few books I've actually read and liked.


Kinda funny because it's super serious. O_O;

[loaf]

I read the survival guide a few years back, really good actually.

I said it on MSN, I've had lots of chats about zombie surviving.

One problem though people, how are you going to survive the outbreak.

[Polk]

Don't **** any zombies. No matter how bad you want to.

[loaf]

Don't **** any zombies. No matter how bad you want to.

That post is mainly meant for Che.

[Shadow Of Darkness]

Don't **** any zombies. No matter how bad you want to.

well some people like necrophillia..have to live with that
but look from the bright side ! dead people cant say : NO !

[bahamuts heir]

1chainsaw
2avoid the toilet
3control yourself in strip clubs
4always have a "back way out"
5 stay In the freaking light
6have someone cover your back
7have it be a kick-butt fighter/gun specialist
8(if you can) call in the terminator

[smurphy]

Well when it comes to necrophilia and the apocolypse would you contract the zombie virus as a STD and would you be fine if you used contraception, i wonder?

I would have one rule. Go to the nearest army depot and steal a tank. Compete against friends in seeing how many zombies you can crush under the tracks. Sleep in tank.Eat in tank.Do number 1 and 2s when the coast is clear. Might be fun for a while.

[Storm]

# 34: If all else fails, pretend to be a zombie, like in Shaun of the Dead

[Block]

# 34: If all else fails, pretend to be a zombie, like in Shaun of the Dead

Or, like Bill Murray. BC he did that too.

[bahamuts heir]

I'm surprised nobody would panic and go berserk( imagines self with machine gun shooting the crap out of anything that moves) nah

[Josh_R]

1. Avoid porta potties(cause according to Resident Evil 5 they hide in em)
2. Never go anywhere alone
3. Stay outta the dark
4. If being chased try not to trip like the f*cktards in the movie's
5. Find a tacobell, and eat all the food

[Howling Wind]

A flame thrower. In my mind. It works every time! =D

[bahamuts heir]

I tried out left4dead yesterday and I gotta say dual pistals are absolutely dominating on zombies and mutated killer zombies

[Howling Wind]

I remember the grenade launcher in RE2 made quick work. That or a shotgun. I guess a baseball bat would work good too.

[bahamuts heir]

Personally I would use kunais/kodachis/katanas to cut off zombie limbs
plus magic; raise,fire ,phoenix, etc

[loaf]

Because magic is real...

I doubt anybody here can actually dual wield pistols.

[bahamuts heir]

Because magic is real...
I doubt anybody here can actually dual wield pistols.

because zombies are real...........
Maybe someone can.
"Everybody congratulate" loaf" for being the most annoying member ever

[midgetbob]

because zombies are real...........
Maybe someone can.
"Everybody congratulate" loaf" for being the most annoying member ever

at least he's consistent!



As for Zombies... I wanted to say a Velociraptor would take care of any zombie problems, but then I started thinking about Zombie Velocirpators! That's some scary shit right there. Think of this thing as a zombie too o.O

[loaf]

because zombies are real...........
Maybe someone can.
"Everybody congratulate" loaf" for being the most annoying member ever

lol have you ever shot a gun before? It's tough enough with one hand. The odds of zombies is far greater then magic. Try with 2 without breaking your wrist.
Keep that up and you are my next target kid...

[GypsyElder]

I doubt anybody here can actually dual wield pistols.

Ahem! *cough* points to self ****

EDIT: loooooool (yes! someone believes me)

[midgetbob]

lol have you ever shot a gun before? It's tough enough with one hand.
Try with 2 without breaking your wrist.

I can. Guns aren't really that tough to weild. I mean, if you're running around with some Deagles? Ya... might be a little tougher... considering the majority of handguns are 9mms or .45s? Ya... good luck breaking your wrists with those....

On a side note... the AT-4 Rocket launcher pulls you forward a bit if you're not firmly planted when you fire.

[bahamuts heir]

lol have you ever shot a gun before? It's tough enough with one hand. The odds of zombies is far greater then magic. Try with 2 without breaking your wrist.
Keep that up and you are my next target kid...

I'm not already?! And gypsy elder can so it's not impossible(and I was talking about pistols,you know the one handed gun)

[loaf]

I'm not already?! And gypsy elder can so it's not impossible(and I was talking about pistols,you know the one handed gun)

Yes because when someone says dual wielding they obviously are talking about Shotguns and Aks. Stop posting.

[GypsyElder]

Yes because when someone says dual wielding they obviously are talking about Shotguns and Aks. Stop posting.

I was thinking more like, Revolver heheeeee :


Oh, I mean. "oh my gosh guys this is getting so off topic"

[midgetbob]

It's still on topic... dual-weilding is a proficiency that will help in zombie survival.

Now you just gotta figure out which one you want to put points into...

Dual-Weilding Pistols
Dual-Weilding Guns-Other
Dual-Weilding Melee Weapons o.O

[Rhaps]

1. Avoid porta potties(cause according to Resident Evil 5 they hide in em)
2. Never go anywhere alone
3. Stay outta the dark
4. If being chased try not to trip like the f*cktards in the movie's
5. Find a tacobell, and eat all the food

Explosive diarrhea: A weapon?!

I say grab a bike and make your way to your area's local Nat. Guard Armory! Mines about 45 min. from my home, so I'd be ready to rock!

[Darnell]

Rule #35 Your partner gets bit you kill your partner! (No questions!)

[Full Life]

hahahaha i would be the one controling the virus making people zombies for fun!!! but the ruels are simple dnt go near them and have a phobia of everything as well as call 5313 link