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Thread: Shift Comments Thread

  1. #61
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    I'm a day late, but I ended up going longer on somethings that I thought would go pretty quickly. As I said before this chapter might be a little disappointing for some since the chapter pretty much covers about 10 or 20 seconds of real time. But it is up now and so here is Chapter 58!

    If you had not figured it out Yuki's got some issues to resolve and well this is the chapter that they resolved. There are some new revelations that help to fix Yuki and he comes out the person he needs to be. He actually finally makes it to being a little closer to what the typical Shounen action hero is all about. He has been pretty whimpy up to this for a good reason.

    I wanted him to be different from other standard Shounen heroes are all fight and don't let anything stop them. Yuki's got a weak will sometimes and he gives up. He faces things is a bad manner, but he's still got a good head on his shoulders in the end. And well lately has finally started to show those never say traits that are so common. Though they are actually more common from others like Ayumi and Saki, which is why I joke sometimes that they are more like the heroes of Shounen and not him. But this chapter turns it all around for him.

    The ending isn't a huge cliffhanger, but it is just the all important showdown moment. Yuki is going to be facing off with Demosthenes with his powers and I really lay down the air that Yuki's changed. He is no longer the cowardly type that has been running around thus far. So the next chapter is going to be really awesome because you'll get to see Yuki do the whole Shounen action hero moment of total awesomeness where he is just that much better than his opponent and everything he does just looks amazing. It's going to be fun. ^^ I can't wait.

    Enjoy!
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  2. #62
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    I'm quite late on this, but getting sick after finishing the chapter sort of makes it difficult to focus. But I finally got around to looking it over, so it is ready to be posted, Chapter 59. The big fight that you've been waiting for is finally here. Though whether it is classic myself or Shounen Jump the chapter ends up being a little different. You'll get my meaning if you read the chapter first.

    I think there is only one chapter left, which is feature more of the fight between Demosthenes and Yuki. It'll be a pretty awesome fight too. However, it is going to be even more important for what happens at the end of the chapter. Yeah, the big moment that I've been pretty much going on and on about since this all began will occur in the next chapter, the big Chapter 60. It's been a long sub-arc and things are about to completely change.

    So buckle up for the exciting conclusion in the next chapter. I had a lot of fun with this chapter doing all of the imagery. I really want to make Yuki's whole awakening look really awesome and epic. I think I managed to do that pretty well. It'll look really cool drawn whenever I get the time, though I've made things pretty complicated for myself. I finally think I settled on a wardrobe for Yuki in his transformed state and I think it looks pretty cool.

    Enjoy!
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  3. #63
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Wow I'm late, by a week. >< Christmas really did a number on me. But I finally got Chapter 60 up now. I'm going to be working on 61 short there after. But for your reading pleasure the conclusion to the current sub-arc and battle. Plus the big surprise twist at the end that I have been talking about for so long.

    This chapter was a little rough on me because I kept feeling like this is supposed to be epic, but not getting that feeling from the writing. There certainly some cool stuff that happens, but it never got to that epic feeling for me. Though it does not help that both fighters do not have very flashy stuff to use. But you don't have to worry, there's going to be a lot of flash coming soon.

    The explanation to Yuki's fighting ability finally comes in this chapter as well. I do one of those stop fighting and chat moments, but I kept it to only one moment. I really do not like them, but I felt there was a need for it. Plus it sort of actually fits with Demosthenes style of fighting, which is not single-minded killing. He takes everything in a pretty professional manner and sometimes casual, which comes from his age more than anything. He's not bloodthirsty which makes him quite different from everyone else that's come after Yuki.

    Well Saki gets her moment to shine which was actually a pretty cool moment as well. Though part of it is covered up by a perspective change. But it is more meant as a hint of things to come rather than anything else.

    Enjoy!
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  4. #64
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    So much for getting this done tomorrow. While I finally got up Chapter 61 now. It was finished yesterday, but I was too tired to proof it. I had mostly the issue of sorting through things for the future. I needed them to all be in order and I ended up spending a lot of time on that and then my laptop was out too. So that distracted me for a while as well.

    This chapter is meant to be the start of the new sub-arc, which is going to be quite short along with the remaining ones I think. However, I was also trying to set up the next several arcs on top of that. So the chapter sort of jumps around, but you get to see characters you haven't in a while. And Yuki is no where to be seen in the chapter.

    After Yuki major sub-arc for the arc he is going to be less focused on. The main cast are going to be getting some more face time with Fumiko being the start of it. There will be some more development and depth provided for the main cast during these new sub-arcs. I do expect things to be wrapped up by like the 80s I think. The sub-arcs won't be very long, there's just a lot of main characters to hit up.

    Enjoy!
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  5. #65
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Even longer to this chapter released now. Though I do have a reason to why it took so long. My back decided to act up again and so I was in quite a lot of discomfort so long as I didn't move and if I did I was in a fair amount of pain. So focusing and not moving makes it a little difficult to think or write. That finally all passed though and I was able to finish out the chapter. So Chapter 62 is now up.

    This one as I said would be completely focusing on Fumiko, the unusually tall senior girl that has a thing for fantasy stories. Well this chapter does not do a lot of exploring of her background, but seeing how someone reacts in a life threatening situation really colors a character. She acts tougher than Yuki has up until recently, huh? ^^; Still staring down a creature that is several times larger than yourself and nearly as tall is pretty impressive.

    The fun for her though really hits at the end of the chapter where things will be getting exciting. The sub-arc will be wrapped up in the next chapter, like I said short. And then we'll be moving on to another of the two characters mentioned in the last chapter. I do suspect that after Fumiko that things will probably be pretty obvious what I'm doing and there won't be much of a surprised, but that is why I picked Fumiko first. It's not really expected and the outcome could be guessed with some thinking, but is not nearly as obvious as the others.

    Well this is the start of things to come. So sit back for the fun ride!

    Enjoy!
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  6. #66
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    I'll get caught up eventually...well Chapter 63 is up now and you have the conclusion to the battle between Fumiko and the strange beast that suddenly appeared in town. There is actually quite the mix of things going on through here. It is all Fumiko, but it swings between action and comedy.

    I felt as though I should be doing some things to lighten the mood a little with what has been happening. There has been very little happy things going on and while it is certainly not happy what is happening, it is at least break from the drama for a laugh. There are a couple fun moments here that I enjoyed. It is actually too bad these are text since pictures would have really showed this off really well.

    This chapter for those following should provide you with the direction that things are taken now. It should be pretty clear at this point as I said before. I'll be moving on Seiji for Chapter 64 so this is the end of the sub-arc. I actually suspect that the Seiji sub-arc will be only two chapters, but I will have to wait and see. There is going to be a lot of fun stuff since Seiji is so opposed to what's going on right now.

    Oh and more on Saki's situation too. Look forward to it!

    Enjoy!
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  7. #67
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    It's still a week late, but earlier than before. I'm catching up finally. So Chapter 64 is now up and the new sub-arc starts. This is focusing on Seiji, which was brought up back in Chapter 61. There is quite a bit of fun to be had before any of the action even starts. Seiji's always had issues and revisiting them provides some fun entertainment moments.

    The chapter probably feels a little slow or unmoving in direction, but it is just a lot of subtle build up to the end. There are a couple of important points in the chapter that are necessary for the next chapter, which will be understood soon enough. Still love Shoji Seiji's little brother. He's just a ball of energy and so enthusiastic about becoming a Shinto Priest. I bet it looks so cute in the priest robes. ^^

    I also pick up the thread left over with Saki as well. I haven't forgotten about her. She is actually a bit of a transition device. Since she started out as the focus of the chapter before bringing her back to shift gears was an easy fit for her. There is a little more to be done with her which will appear with the next sub-arc.

    Still don't know if this will be a two or three chapter sub-arc, but I'll know better when I finish the next chapter, won't I?

    Enjoy!
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  8. #68
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    So much for catching up. Distractions and whanot I did not manage to get both chapters done. Hopefully, I can fix that soon. Anyway, Chapter 65 is now up. And the answer to whether it is going to be a 2 or 3 chapter sub-arc is answered as well. It is a 3 chapter sub-arc.

    I ended up unintentionally coming up with some new ideas while I was writing the chapter, part of the reason why it was delayed. And so I ended up working that out and found a really fun character. It is just a small support character, but I had a lot of fun with her that I'll be bringing her back again later.

    I also explored some new areas with Seiji and had a ton of fun at his own expense. Yuki's not the only whipping boy now. ^^; Ah well I hope you enjoy it, not as much action as their is comedy, but it was fun.

    Enjoy!
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  9. #69
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Well Chapter 66 is up now. I finished it late last night so I didn't have the time to put it up then. But first I did today got it up. This concludes the sub-arc and will move on to the next one for the next chapter.

    I had a lot of fun with Seiji in this chapter. He acts a like a brave idiot through it all and I felt that was a little harsh. But I had to realize that he only knows how to fight and brains is not really his strong suit. He knows how to fight and how to get around in the fight, but that is where his intelligence ends. Unfortunately, he only knows how to answer problems with his fists.

    Which means because of the way Seiji is means that it will be a lot of fun with him in the future. Because he won't understand how to use his new powers and on top of it they are the one thing he hates more than anything. So he is going to be really fun character to play out because he so hates what he has that he'll be resistent to using them.

    I summoned a little Louie the Rune Soldier for Seiji, because the line of thought were pretty much the same. I can see this looking really fun in drawings, because so much of it is meant to look really silly the way Seiji is just going around beatin things up with his fists. Plus I had fun with the ghost following him around unwilling to help him, but doing so anyway. They'll make an odd pair since Seiji is scared of ghosts.

    Enjoy!
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  10. #70
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Being late is a fair understatement at this point. Between one thing and another it was just really difficult to write anything. Chapter 67 is finally up though. I am not two chapter behind and still need to catch up. >< I'm hoping that I can do that soon and constantly be so far behind on my writing. It's getting more and more challenging to write in a single seating for some reason.

    Well the conclusion to the small little bit with Saki in the hospital has been done in this chapter. It does not really feel like a conclusion, but it is not really meant to be an end. This is simply another step in a series of steps that will being involved Saki and Takako. As I said a while back I think, I've got plans to place her in throughout the arc, though the arc is wrapping up at this point. So her appearances will not be too numerous. Either way, it's all got a purpose.

    And I'm back to Chiharu. She had a pretty involved sub-arc back and I'm picking up that sub-arc into a continuation. She's the only character so far with a large unresolved plot points. However, since this is only a sub-arc it won't all be resolved here either. This is all build up for the main event later. But get to see some fun with Chiharu and her current situation. A lot more will be happening in the next chapter and it will probably carry over into another chapter. Afterward this section of sub-arcs will be completed. Only a handful left. ^^

    Enjoy!
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  11. #71
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Chapter 68 is a little late, but at least I'm not getting anything further behind. I think I've been saying this for a while, but I've been finding that I'm taking longer and longer on each chapter. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I've been writing on the same story for over a year. Which is something that I haven't done before, the longest was The Inner Man.

    Now we get to see Chiharu in action a little. The chapter is a little more suspenseful than it is action packed. All of the action scenes are pretty brief. But you can expect to have a lot more action in the next chapter that is the conclusion of the sub-arc.

    There is actually several things going on outside of the knowledge of the reader during this chapter. So it is a little bit of a juggling act of what I want to tell and what I don't want to. Most of it is kept a secret so that it builds up the tension. Also if the plan was known ahead of time it would not be as interesting watching it unfold.

    Well the new sub-arc will be starting soon which will be fairly brief, but characters you haven't seen in a while will be making a return. I hope you haven't forgotten about them. ^^;

    Enjoy!
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  12. #72
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Hurray for being behind on work! >.> Yeah, even further behind. I can thank a very addictive FFXIII for that. Anyway, I'm hoping to catch up on a few chapters this week, but I'm not making any promise. I really need to do another two chapters at least if I'm going to be able to catch though. But Chapter 69 is finally up at least.

    This is the conclusion to the current sub-arc and the current string of series of sub-arcs relating to main character development. If you can figure out where things are going you should have an idea of what I'll be doing in the future. The next sub-arc though you probably won't be able to predict, but it is going to be an important sub-arc, albeit a short one I'm pretty sure. This will actually have some important things to happen with Ayumi. Yeah some Ayumi development finally! She's been pretty slow on the work, but I've let her initially mysterious for a number of a reasons, which will become clear in the second arc.

    Anyway, Chiharu gets to have her first real fight and it probably turns out about how you expect. Though she's got a long way to go still. I'm getting a little worried about how I'm portraying Chiharu in this sub-arc, since she shows a lot more intelligence that I originally displayed. She was shown more to be aggressive and unthinking in fighting, which as I realized it is not really the case. She will run headlong in to a fight looking for a challenge, but she is actually quite intelligent in actually fighting, especially in a serous fight. And considering what she's been forced to go throug she's changed a little and grown up some. She will still rush into battle probably even more so now looking to prove herself, but she actually fights smartly, which will feel like a contradiction. It is only because of her training that she manages to get by.

    Enjoy!
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  13. #73
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    It is Sunday and I have a new chapter! Yeah, I'm still behind, but this is a start at least. Chapter 70 is now up and the start of the new sub-arc. Goodbye, Friend sub-arc is a fairly short one. It will more than likely be wrapped up in the next chapter. And then it will be on to Bonds of Family. There are only three planned sub-arcs left to the first arc. Almost at the end!

    Well this chapter is very much focused on Ayumi. While there is not really any flashbacks in the chapter, I was considering it. In the end it did not seem to be necessary for what I wanted to do with Ayumi at this point. I wrestled with the dialogue for a while at the end. I did not like where some of it was going and I wanted to go through a couple of things, but I did not end up doing it. I will be in the next chapter though.

    The focus is on Ayumi and she does not really get the full development that you were probably expecting, but there is a new side to her that gets to be shown. There have been little moments here and there that have done it, but this is a pretty big moment for her. It will have significant lasting affects on the rest of the story. So it is quite an important chapter as insignificant as it can seem in the long run. But I was able to humanize Ayumi a little, she could be pretty unlikable at times with how she is. So this side should help to warm her up to people.

    Enjoy!
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  14. #74
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Chapter 71 is now up late as it is. I actually had it finished early yesterday, but I sat on it because I wasn't sure if I was pleased with some of the written. In the end reading it all as a whole I think I'm satisfied though I may end up changing some of it later. I'll have to see what happens when I look back at it after a couple of weeks.

    Anyway, this chapter is a little more revealing of Ayumi. She actually gets her first flashback, yay! Oh those dreaded flashbacks. It makes some very interesting revelations I think. I don't give away too much, but it certain starts to develop the mood. It also helps to provide some footing for the new arc that is coming, which will obviously be taking place in the homeland since the whole point of Ayumi's visit is to convince Yuki to be King.

    I end up playing the friend card which is part of the reason why I was not sure if I was happy with things. It was a difficult scene to write. I sat over it for a while trying to decide exactly how it needed to be and did not end up completely pleased with the results. Thus the hesitation on finishing it. But it is done now and I'm more or less fine with it. This is the end of the sub-arc and a new will begin next chapter.

    Enjoy!
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  15. #75
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Finally a week late I have Chapter 72 up and ready now. I ended up getting really side tracked by Sakura Wars. >.> So I didn't get a lot of work done until recently. Anyway, I'm going to be working immediately on the next chapter and see how far I can get. I'm going to be try to do a full catch up this week. I don't know how successful I'll be but that is going to be the goal.

    Anyway, new sub-arc. It actually finishes up a little bit that I had been planning for the previous chapter, but I thought the last chapter ended on such a good note that I didn't want to soften it with Yuki's family. It did end up meaning that this chapter was quite long, but it was still a fun chapter. I still playing around with Ayumi a little in this.

    Though Yori gets to make his big return after only being in a couple of chapters very briefly overall. I work on the little tension between Yori and Yuki, since Yori still doesn't like him for Yumi liking him. However, he has accepted Yumi's feelings on the matter.

    I even have a little fun with Yuki and exploring some new areas of the powers. And there is a good told you so moment in there that was just so obvious I had to point it out.

    Enjoy!
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  16. #76
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    I wasn't able to make it Sunday, but Chapter 73 is now up. I still have 2 or 3 chapters I need to catch up before I'm finally back on track, but at least I managed to get this chapter done. I have the rest of the week to manage out the rest which I think I should be able to do so long as I keep pressing it on myself.

    Anyway, this chapter ended up focusing a lot more on Yori than I was planning, but it was intention anyway to give him more of the spotlight this time around. Yumi have a sub-arc where Yori was more of a minor character that had little interaction with her. And a lot of Yori was still more or less unknown about him around that time. So he needed a little more work and development and I planned on this being it, though I was going to have Yumi around too. It just ended up working out this way. I am quite happy with the results though.

    I worked in another flashback, but it is actually connected with one of Yumi's flashbacks. So that actually helps to tie things in with his point of view. Yori is an interesting character that can easily be seen as a jerk if you only look at the surface, but there is a lot going on under the surface with him. He ends up being more complex that he originally appears to be and I think he turns out better for it.

    I had a couple of different endings in mind for this chapter, but once I came to the point that the chapter ends at I just knew I had to go with it. It is a really mean cliffhanger, but I couldn't resist it. Sorry. ^^;

    Enjoy!
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  17. #77
    Registered User Shift Comments Thread Kaiden's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    I am new around here, so I just read the first of this story last night. The story seems very promising so far. I was only able to finish chapter 2, I might have to print it out as I don’t do very well reading from a screen for long periods of time.

    I did notice some sentences that are worded weird and are sometimes confusing. That can easily be missed while writing on your own. You may already have this, but does anyone read through your material before you post? That said what I am reading is over 2 years old so you may have made many changes by now ><


    Scene from a movie.
    SPOILER!!:
    [Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
    Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
    Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
    Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
    Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
    [They go up to the car.]
    Driver: Sorry about the...
    Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
    [The man gives him his license.]
    Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
    Driver: [laughing] Sorry.
    Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
    Driver: Oh, no.
    Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
    [Foster stares at him.]
    Foster: All right meow, where were we?
    Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
    Foster: Am I saying meow?
    Driver: I thought...
    Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
    [The man laughs.]
    Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
    Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
    Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
    [The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
    Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
    Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
    Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
    [Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
    Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
    [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
    Foster: Meow!

  18. #78
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    What is posted here is only the first edited version, which is the proofing after I finish writing it. So there are bound to be a few mistakes here and there. But there is no one else that proofs it for me. It's only a hobby right now so I'm not terribly concerned if everything is perfect or not yet.

    The story is well over 400 pages in length perhaps even 500 pages. I'm not sure if you'd want to print that much out. I'm glad that you've taken an interest in it though.
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  19. #79
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    I'm on time, but I didn't manage to post this sooner. Well Chapter 74 is still here and up though so at least I'm not faller further behind. I had just hoped that this was going to be done a lot sooner, but I ended up getting to points where I had to stop since I was getting a little too emotional over it. I don't know why, but it ended up being really sad for me to write. So I had to keep pacing myself. Then I was not really happy with what I had written for a part and slept on it at which point I completely re-wrote that part over. So it ended up going through a lot longer process than planned.

    This chapter focuses more on Yori still, which as I said before sort of needed the time. I really like the way that things turned out and helps to really begin rounding out Yori's character. It does have another flashback, but it is pretty important. The flashback did end up going longer than I thought and so the chapter ended up longer than I thought. I ended up scrapping a few things that were intended to be put at the end.

    Still, I really like the end, though it would have been really sold by some visuals. There is a really good dirty look that I could imagine coming from Yori with that I did. It actually was not originally planned that way, but as I was writing I thought it up and knew that I had to do it. It was just too good and funny to pass up.

    Enjoy!
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  20. #80
    Registered User Shift Comments Thread Kaiden's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Im up to the middle of chapter 27, the mix of comedy has been done very well. Im starting to get into the parts with lots of character development and its refreshing to see so many sides to your characters. Its always a tough balance between fleshing out characters and overloading the reader. I think are doing it very well so far.

    I was wondering if you could give the phonetic spelling for your characters, just want to make sure I am reading them right. Again amazing story, though I do find myself getting upset with Yuki and his self pity thing that hes going through.


    Scene from a movie.
    SPOILER!!:
    [Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
    Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
    Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
    Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
    Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
    [They go up to the car.]
    Driver: Sorry about the...
    Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
    [The man gives him his license.]
    Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
    Driver: [laughing] Sorry.
    Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
    Driver: Oh, no.
    Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
    [Foster stares at him.]
    Foster: All right meow, where were we?
    Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
    Foster: Am I saying meow?
    Driver: I thought...
    Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
    [The man laughs.]
    Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
    Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
    Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
    [The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
    Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
    Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
    Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
    [Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
    Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
    [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
    Foster: Meow!

  21. #81
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Yuki - You-key
    Ayumi - Ah-you-me
    Saki - Sa-key
    Momoko - Mo-mo-ko
    Jun - Juu-n
    Ken
    Yori - Yo-re
    Yumi - You-me
    Seiji - Say-ge
    Fumiko - Fou-me-ko
    Haruo - Ha-ru-o
    Chiharu - Chi-ha-ru
    Hiroshi - He-ro-she
    Hitomi - He-to-me
    Takako - Ta-ka-ko
    Tatsuya - Ta-tsu-ya
    Kazuhiro - Ka-zoo-he-ro
    Kaede - Kai-day
    Katsumi - Ka-tsu-me

    The runs down a large percentage of the main cast and support cast. I've never really done a phonetic spelling before so I just did the best I could to make it look how it sounds. Since I'm actually teaching myself Japanese some of this is already second nature to me so I can't really think of a clear way to put it. Hope that helps.

    As for Yuki, I have had a number of people voice their frustration with the way that acts. He is a fair amount whiny, but a lot of that comes from his desire to help while being completely powerless to do anything. The rest is buried in his rather complicated past. Don't worry, he grows out of that stage. Though he in general displays a rather cheerful attitude about everything.

    I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far. It is always nice to hear from someone that has been reading it.
    Last edited by Andromeda; 04-19-2010 at 02:34 PM.
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
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  22. #82
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Well I got a little behind this week due to some social events knocking around my schedule. I was fortunate enough to put out the chapter fairly quickly once I got time though so I'm happy about that. I can't say that I'm at the speed I want to be, but we'll see what happens. Anyway, Chapter 75 is now up.

    This chapter as some may not actually know, it about Haruo the mystery guy that has very little to say and even less presence, despite being a very muscular kid. The chapter is actually really short, but the word count is pretty high, this ends up being the case since Haruo has almost no dialogue in the entire chapter. But it is his character not to speak unless absolutely necessary. It is actually pretty funny since up until this point he's had like all of 4 words spoken so far.

    However, this is Haruo's sub-arc so you'll get a good look into his past and history so that you understand what is up with him. It'll help to answer why he is so quiet and anti-social. It should be an interesting sub-arc, the number of chapters for this one remains unknown though. It will not be a short 3 chapter deal though since Haruo has gone completely unfocused on up to this point. So this will be the last major sub-arc of the arc with only the closing sub-arc afterward.

    Enjoy!
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
    Don't know how to roleplay, but want to learn? Visit Here!


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  23. #83
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Hey I'm a little more on schedule only a day off this time. Things happened again that really screwed up all of my scheduling for the weekend. So I was left trying to recover from that and fit everything in. Fortunately, it did not push things too far back. So Chapter 76 is now up.

    This is a more talkative chapter than the last one. Haruo still a quiet one, but there's more for him to now. There is a decently sized flashback dropped in as well. It actually went on a little longer than I originally planned, but it all worked out to be very nice. Some of Haruo past starts to come out in the chapter, but I'm leaving the bulk of it for the coming chapters. So this won't be the only flashback in the sub-arc. It is a character sub-arc and a character that is still fairly unknown! So it only makes sense that I would be doing some flashbacking.

    Anyway, I actually had quite a bit of fun with Yuki in this chapter. He really does have a bit of a split personality with the way he acts, but it is running according to his internal rules. So it is not really out of character. But he actually ended up writing most of his stuff on his own with any real problem. He is the comic relief and fills it very nicely. He felt a little too airhead dumb for me at points (mainly because I don't like being a clueless brainless main character like Naruto and other Shounen heroes), but most of it was for comedy sake so it's fine.

    Enjoy!
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    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  24. #84
    Registered User Shift Comments Thread Kaiden's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    I am all caught up, the story has definately changed quite a bit from the begining. May I asked how far out you have planned? I am loving the character development that has been happening since the "big change". I am looking forward to maybe a little more on Ayumi's past. You have talked about it a little, but for my money Seiji resembles the shounen hero to me. He has that thick headed streak to him and just does whatever in the moment without thinking. He is probably my favorite character so far, the interaction between him and the "ghost" was very funny. Waiting for the next chapter now!!!

    sorry for having no structure to this post at all. Just kinda threw out some random thoughts about everything.


    Scene from a movie.
    SPOILER!!:
    [Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
    Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
    Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
    Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
    Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
    [They go up to the car.]
    Driver: Sorry about the...
    Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
    [The man gives him his license.]
    Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
    Driver: [laughing] Sorry.
    Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
    Driver: Oh, no.
    Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
    [Foster stares at him.]
    Foster: All right meow, where were we?
    Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
    Foster: Am I saying meow?
    Driver: I thought...
    Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
    [The man laughs.]
    Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
    Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
    Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
    [The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
    Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
    Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
    Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
    [Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
    Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
    [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
    Foster: Meow!

  25. #85
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    I have the next 3 major arcs planned out. When I say major arcs I'm referring to how the fact that everything up until now is consider a single major arc, it is filled with sub-arcs, but Chapter 1-76 is still under a single major arc. I have a couple more additional major arcs planned out, but the order is not determined yet.

    Most of Ayumi's past will come out in the next major arc. So you can look forward to learning more about her at that time.

    And it is probably very true that Seiji is a like a typical Shounen hero. A lot of the rest of the main cast end up being more like a Shounen hero than Yuki does. So it makes it rather interesting to see how that is broken away from.

    Thanks for reading! I have two chapters planned to be out this week.
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
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    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  26. #86
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Well the chapter is finally up though it is really far behind on it. I'm going to be working on the next chapter immediately so that I can try to get a little caught up. It has been taking longer and longer to do these. Anyway, Chapter 77 is now finished and up.

    This continues Haruo's sub-arc and as I said before I think, the sub-arc is not going to be a short one. I'm still trying to sort out the length of it, but since Haruo has not had his own sub-arc yet this one is sort of making up for it. One big show before we move on.

    This is another flashback chapter, but Haruo's got a complicated past and guidelines that he works under. So the flashbacks are a little required for him. There are still things that he does and acts that are not fully explained even afterwards, but it will feel a lot more clear after it. I probably won't expressly explain everything and let the reader figure some of it out on their own, but I will provide enough material so that you can get to the answers on your own.

    Enjoy!
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
    Don't know how to roleplay, but want to learn? Visit Here!


    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  27. #87
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    So much for two chapters that week. I would have been able to I'm pretty sure, but from Thursday until today things have been really crazy. Thursday through Saturday was chaos around here preventing from concentrating on anything and Sunday was helping Merlin with something for a while. Today I helped settle some matters with someone else that ate up a lot of the day too. So it took a lot of the day today to just finish up the last little bit that I had to get this chapter completed. But Chapter 78 is now up.

    I thought this chapter was actually going to be really quick, but it ended up going the distance anyway. There is a surprising amount of talking in the chapter though, which is a little out of place for me. But there was some good stuff that came out it. Most of it was just some step for the next chapter and a little development for Haruo. I do use Yuki to call out that I talked a lot though.

    The funny thing is that for the gang members showing back up almost no fighting actually ended up happening. It was fighting that ended up dragging out the chapter longer than I was expecting, but it helped to make the chapter a little more exciting. I can understand anyone's feelings in saying that this a little on the fluff side.

    With any luck and I'm not distracted tomorrow I'm going to try to work through all of the next chapter. Since I'm still behind.

    Enjoy!
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
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    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  28. #88
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Hey I'm back on track. >.> Well not really, I'm still a few chapters behind, but it's the fact of the matter of getting down what I set out to do. Chapter 79 is now up. I actually wrote most of it last night is a pretty short amount of time which had me pretty pleased. I just ended up running out of time before needing to sleep. I sadly got really distracted for most of the day, but I still got the writing done away.

    So now we get down to some action and fighting. Well not really since it is all just Haruo and Yuki getting beat up, but it's the thought that counts right? ^^ The chapter is actually all over the place in covering Haruo and Yuki. Yuki gets a little more personal time than Haruo, but I think they all get some focus.

    I will say that Yuki probably had the best lines though. Some of them got a little possibly uncharacteristically rude for Yuki, but we actually haven't seen him in a real fight and talking much. The only real fights that he had were in flashbacks and against Demosthenes. I don't really count most of the other fights since he was not acting consciously. So while it'll seem a little out of character for him, one it was done for a reason, which won't go explained until the next chapter and two Yuki's running on a bit of a high with the liberation that he had about his feelings on fighting. So there's a little of that in there too. But still I really love the lines he had, they all really just wrote themselves. He's having fun with them and I'm even making fun of myself with the way I wrote of some of the characters.

    Enjoy!
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    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  29. #89
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    So much for staying on time huh? I had some things that delayed my work on Sunday and then put it completely off because I ended up totally focused on doing Twin Moon. You remember Twin Moon right? Well I finished up the development for it and the second chapter. So it'll be starting in full swing now. As I said before though it'll only be when I have time, Shift is still the primary story. So with that I present Chapter 80 and myself sort of caught up until tomorrow. >.> I don't know if I'll be able to get 81 out in time with what I have to do tomorrow, but I'll try.

    Anyway, this chapter is almost totally focused on Yuki, which is a little odd seeing as it is Haruo sub-arc. But don't worry the next chapter will be having a lot to with Haruo. There is still probably at least two or three more chapters left in this sub-arc. However, focusing on this chapter there is actually a good point that I wanted to make about Yuki. One that until now I had not really been able to do, Yuki is actually a smart person.

    Well what I mean, his grades aren't amazing or anything like that. But he's not dumb when it comes to fighting. And I'm not just talking about having some natural talent for fighting. One of the things that I wanted to make sure about Yuki was that he had a power that I could make use in smart and clever ways with him. Because I wanted to make him different from all of the muscle head shounen action heroes. Yuki lacks many of the standard qualities that they have on purpose. And so now that he can control his power I can start showing off that he his actually smart in finding tactics to fight his battles. This chapter finally shows that off.

    Oh and I poke a little fun at a Shounen Jump manga in this chapter. Cookies for the person that figures out which manga I'm making a joke about. ^^

    Enjoy!
    Curious? There's no limits but your own imagination.
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    2007 and 2009 Best Writer of TFF and 2009 Most Creative Co-Winner



  30. #90
    The Quiet One Shift Comments Thread Andromeda's Avatar
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    Re: Shift Comments Thread

    Well I tried for Sunday and I did manage to a good part of it on Sunday, but it didn't work out. Monday ended up being too busy for me to do and so I finished it up today. Now I'm sort of caught up once again. I'll be trying something new that I'm hoping will give me more desirable results. Anyway, Chapter 81 is now up.

    As promised this chapter focuses almost solely on Haruo. I leave the opener for Yuki since I cliffhung on Yuki getting sliced opened by the sadistic Katsu, but after that is dealt with I move on Haruo for the rest of the chatper. Most of it is fighting and Haruo struggling with his own issues. But it is certainly a lot more action oriented than some of the past chapters. It is also probably the bloodiest chapter that I've had as well. Though I suspect the next one could be even worse, but it won't go past Shounen levels.

    The ending of the chapter is very important for Haruo. The entire sub-arc has been dealing with a few of his major anti-social issues and reasons. There is a lot going on inside him and that's not going to change from just a few well placed words. Haruo still very much sticking to his own beliefs that he has made for himself, as screwed up as they might be. The breaking down of those beliefs and what comes after will be very important for him and something I look forward to exploring with him.

    Enjoy!
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