Newest Song

[nickness89]

Forgot to say, yes, I have copyright on this song, so if you take itin any way, prepare to get yo ass sued ... mwahahaha ... lawl xP

My sis and I have a band together, Frequency.

We're fairly new, and Iwrite the lyrics, but need some criticism on my latest song, as it is one of the main songs on our demo. Please feel free to be harsh xD

It's called Blue Fairy, and is basically the idea that we are all puppets to today's civilisation, that we are wooden and robotic, and the song reminisces the days of childhood, when we are all free to speak and do what we like, without consequences. (Blue Fairy and the idea of adults being puppets to society is reference to Pinnochio, as you could probably tell).

Here it is:

Blue Fairy


I need my Blue Fairy, I need my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,
I need my Blue Fairy, I need my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,

Instrumental -

Back in the day of flesh and blood,
Life was easy real fantastic now it's all just mud,
And when I look back through the pleasantries,
I wonder what the hell has happened, dear society,

Just give it all up, 'cause at the end of the day,
You'll still turn false, and in the end you will pray,
That you had your Fairy, to keep you whole and sane,
But that's tomorrow, and this is today,

When I was a real boy, and life was a steal boy,
My blood was warm, and there was no conformity,
But now I'm just wood boy, now everything's crude boy,
My blood is icy, and everything's dead,

I need my Blue Fairy, I need my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,
I need my Blue Fairy, I need my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,

When did life become so damn bad,
That we decide that dying isn't all that sad,
We're given a gift, just to love ourselves,
But we waste our love on sobriety, to me that's Hell,

Just give it all up, 'cause at the end of the day,
You'll still turn false, and in the end you will pray,
That you had your Fairy, to keep you whole and sane,
But that's tomorrow, and this is today,

When I was a real boy, and life was a steal boy,
My blood was warm, and there was no conformity,
But now I'm just wood boy, now everything's crude boy,
My blood is icy, and everything's dead,

I need my Blue Fairy, I need my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,
I need my Blue Fairy, I need my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,

Look here she comes, and here I am,
My cerulean mother, let all the records jam,
I wish upon an evening star, transform me to my birth,
That's the me I love more, by far,

Now that I'm a real boy, the errors are gone boy,
I'll love me for what I am, I'll do everything that I can,
To be true to me boy, a real life living boy,
Stromboli can kiss my ass, I'm gonna win,

I have my Blue Fairy, I have my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy,
I have my Blue Fairy, I have my Blue Fairy, my B-B-B-Blue Fairy...

[Polk]

Well thanks for posting your poetry I guess

[nickness89]

Well thanks for posting your poetry I guess

Ummm, it's the lyrics to the song. It's the lyrics i want criticism on, not the music that will back it up, that's why it's the lyrics only, not the actual song.

[Josh_R]

Ummm, it's the lyrics to the song. It's the lyrics i want criticism on, not the music that will back it up, that's why it's the lyrics only, not the actual song.

I thought that song lyrics were poetry, oh well guess not..

As for the song lyrics itself they are not bad. Can't say I really have any criticism for you. If you want some real critiquing I would talk to OceanEyes if i'm not mistaken she writes her own music, and may be able to give you some better advice.

[nickness89]

I thought that song lyrics were poetry, oh well guess not..

They are in a way, like, songs generally are poems with music in the wider sense, but it's more a case of using language to portray one particular idea ... poetry in other words lol, it's hard to explain.

As for the song lyrics itself they are not bad. Can't say I really have any criticism for you. If you want some real critiquing I would talk to OceanEyes if i'm not mistaken she writes her own music, and may be able to give you some better advice.

Thanks for the advice, will hopefully talk to OceanEyes soon :')